Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCIX

In essence what the man told me is that I was a liar. My kids were small at the time and I had told them Santa would be coming in one more week. I was in my thirties and was well aware of the truth about Santa, yet I was offended by that man's harshness and combative tone. Yes, I know he was making sure I understood his point of view about Santa and Christmas in general, but to be honest, I think in his eagerness to set me straight, he may have been violating a couple of the basic themes of the Christmas message: Peace on Earth and good will toward men. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume his intentions were pure, but the entire exchange started me to thinking about the real Christmas story. If I want to spread the message of Christmas, how do I go about doing it? How can I, as an individual, go about achieving the goal of "peace on Earth and good will toward men?" That's quite a task for one ordinary guy with just average intelligence, but I do have a plan. First of all, I must accept the fact that there's not much I can do about what world leaders and people in foreign countries choose to do, and any effort I might make to influence their actions will be futile. However, there is something I CAN do, but I admit I will need your help in this endeavor, because, trust me, it won't be easy. Hardly a day goes by that I don't have contact with a significant number of people. Each day, I should draw an imaginary circle around myself and everyone with whom I interact. Then, all I have to do is make sure I promote peace and good will toward those within my circle, and all you have to do is the exact same thing I'm doing. Once you and I start working on this project, we may be surprised at how much of a difference we'll see, especially in our own little .worlds, and the more of us who get involved, the bigger our circle of influence will become. Naturally, our first question has to be, "How do we go about spreading peace and good will in our circle?" This is where it gets tough. Our initial effort should be to find instructions in the Bible, such as "pray for those who spitefully use you" and "turn the other cheek." How easy is it to send best wishes to those who are spitefully using us? How hard is it, when we get slapped on the side of our face, to turn our face and say, "Hey, you missed a spot?" When someone tries to draw us into conflict, we respond with kindness. When others are spreading ugly rumors about us, we must remember one of our basic privileges, the right to remain silent, because anything we say can and will be used against us. Yep, remaining silent takes a real man or woman. On a more positive note, we can spread good cheer to those within our circle. We could try to become more generous, especially with genuine compliments, along with words of gratitude and encouragement. I've heard it said when we smile at another individual, it's like we're looking in a mirror, because that person will smile back at us. I've learned when I'm kind to someone else, they are more likely to be kind to me. When I smile at others, they will likely smile at me. When I'm truthful to my fellow man, he will likely be more truthful to me. When I help him, he will help me. It's just that someone has to act first, and that's where you and I come in. It's up to us to get it started. We can do it. No, I don't believe in Santa, but my grandchildren do, and I don't have a problem with it. I believe, however, that the best way to spread the real Christmas message of "peace on earth and good will toward men" is to actually live it, not just today, but every day of the year. Promoting peace and goodwill is not an event, it's a lifestyle. May you and those you love have a very Merry Christmas! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCVIII

Modern technology may be causing a problem that couldn't have been foreseen. Imagine this scenario: The husband and wife are sitting in the living room with a ball game on television and she is playing with her phone, with not much happening in the way of conversation. Suddenly the wife's voice breaks the silence, "WHAT?!?!?! What's up with her?! Let me read you this text I just got!!" After she reads it, she stares at her phone in shock, then asks, "What did I say that brought this on?" Five seconds later, she is typing away at the screen on her phone. What follows is heated conversation and hurt feelings, all carried out via text, when the wife was reading the message in a tone that was the exact opposite from the way it was intended. It happens every day with emails and text messages, and I admit I, too, have fallen prey to these avoidable misunderstandings that occur when communication between two or more people is all written. I even worry about it as I write my weekly blogs. It's difficult to transmit tone of voice when voice is not used. Most of us write the way we talk, except for the fact that the reader may not be able to determine which words to accent, which can cause the meaning to be completely different from the intended message. As an example of what I'm saying, try reading the following sentence over and over, placing the accent on the first word, then the next time placing the accent on the second word, etc. until you have read it with the accent placed on each word in the sentence. "I didn't say I saw Kevin kiss Jenna yesterday." That sentence can have as many meanings as there are words in the statement, depending on which word we place the accent. I've read Facebook posts that are written in all caps, and the only message I can glean from them is this person is yelling at me. Another way written messages can be misread is when a response is given in short answers. The person texting may send a message that says, "Can I persuade you to do me a big favor?" The response is, "Okay." We can't hear the responder's tone of voice, so his answer may be interpreted as, "He doesn't seem too enthused to help me," when he might actually be delighted to help. I've been involved in text conversations when it appeared that each time one of us would respond to the other, we seemed to be digging ourselves deeper and deeper into a hole. When we finally decided to talk about it with a voice conversation, the issue was resolved within a minute or two, all because tone of voice was evident, without us having to guess at it. When voice conversation is NOT used, I like to use a tactic I learned from voice instructors in choir training: "Over pronounce your words." It may sound odd to us at first, but it doesn't to the listener. That same concept will work with texts and emails: If you're trying to convey a friendly tone, over emphasize your friendliness. It's better that way than having your tone misinterpreted. I can identify with that sixties song by The Animals: "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood." Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCVIII

Modern technology may be causing a problem that couldn't have been foreseen. Imagine this scenario: The husband and wife are sitting in the living room with a ball game on television and she is playing with her phone, with not much happening in the way of conversation. Suddenly the wife's voice breaks the silence, "WHAT?!?!?! What's up with her?! Let me read you this text I just got!!" After she reads it, she stares at her phone in shock, then asks, "What did I say that brought this on?" Five seconds later, she is typing away at the screen on her phone. What follows is heated conversation and hurt feelings, all carried out via text, when the wife was reading the message in a tone that was the exact opposite from the way it was intended. It happens every day with emails and text messages, and I admit I, too, have fallen prey to these avoidable misunderstandings that occur when communication between two or more people is all written. I even worry about it as I write my weekly blogs. It's difficult to transmit tone of voice when voice is not used. Most of us write the way we talk, except for the fact that the reader may not be able to determine which words to accent, which can cause the meaning to be completely different from the intended message. As an example of what I'm saying, try reading the following sentence over and over, placing the accent on the first word, then the next time placing the accent on the second word, etc. until you have read it with the accent placed on each word in the sentence. "I didn't say I saw Kevin kiss Jenna yesterday." That sentence can have as many meanings as there are words in the statement, depending on which word we place the accent. I've read Facebook posts that are written in all caps, and the only message I can glean from them is this person is yelling at me. Another way written messages can be misread is when a response is given in short answers. The person texting may send a message that says, "Can I persuade you to do me a big favor?" The response is, "Okay." We can't hear the responder's tone of voice, so his answer may be interpreted as, "He doesn't seem too enthused to help me," when he might actually be delighted to help. I've been involved in text conversations when it appeared that each time one of us would respond to the other, we seemed to be digging ourselves deeper and deeper into a hole. When we finally decided to talk about it with a voice conversation, the issue was resolved within a minute or two, all because tone of voice was evident, without us having to guess at it. When voice conversation is NOT used, I like to use a tactic I learned from voice instructors in choir training: "Over pronounce your words." It may sound odd to us at first, but it doesn't to the listener. That same concept will work with texts and emails: If you're trying to convey a friendly tone, over emphasize your friendliness. It's better that way than having your tone misinterpreted. I can identify with that sixties song by The Animals: "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood." Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCVII

From time to time I am asked to be a guest speaker (teacher) for a class at church. When that happens, I usually like to throw in a little humor just to keep the class interesting and to prevent too many minds from wondering. Such was the case when I was asked to be a guest speaker for a Wednesday night class on March 24, 2010. I put in a lot of work for that one, and judging from the number of compliments I received, I must have done an okay job. It was one of those nights when I felt like I really connected with the class. They genuinely laughed at all my jokes, and on the serious parts, it was obvious I had everyone's attention. Considering the circumstances, I would call it a miracle. I'll never forget when prayer requests were taken at the beginning of the class, I requested prayer for "something that was weighing heavy on my mind." I had walked into the room that evening feeling a mixture of joy and heartache. The joy came from the birth of my granddaughter that morning, while the heartache came from the news that she had all the signs of a child with Down Syndrome. (We have since discovered that Down Syndrome is not really all that bad, but at the time, that news was devastating.) One of my favorite towns that I visit as a part of my job is Magnolia, Arkansas, and that's because of the people I work with when I'm there. The owner of the business is a young lady named Rebecca, and she is always one of the most pleasant customers I have, which makes me want to make sure I make her experience as pleasant as possible as well. I remember going there one day during a time when I was facing some personal issues that had me feeling distraught, and I tried so hard to put on a happy face so no one would there, especially Rebecca, would have any idea how I was feeling inside. I think I pulled it off pretty well, and I'm hoping when she reads this article it will be the first time she has any idea that my stomach was in knots during my visit. I know she would've understood if I had let her know what was going on, but sometimes we just don't need to mix business with personal problems. It makes me wonder if there have ever been times when I was there that it was her who was masking inner pain. Sometimes we just can't let our feelings show. Think about it. I come from a family of preachers, and I know just from what they've told me that there have been times when they have stood before their congregations to preach a message of encouragement, while their minds were in utter turmoil. None of us are immune to heartbreak and inner pain, but most of us have times when we just can't let it show or even affect our actions. How many times has the surgeon scrubbed up and gone into surgery while his heart felt like it was torn in two? Or what about the anesthetist who is dispensing the drug to put the patient under during surgery while she fights to hold back tears, or the mental turmoil of the pharmacist who is measuring the proper amount of medicine to a customer whose life is on the line? I've heard stories about how Lou Costello, the famous member of the comedy team Abbot and Costello from the 1940s, was dealing with tragic family issues while he was traveling the country telling jokes that still have people laughing. And of course, there are guys like me who have to make the sale no matter how I'm feeling, and the waitress who is smiling at all her customers while her home life is a wreck. The bottom line is, we just don't always know when someone we're dealing with is trying hard to hold their emotions in check until they get home from work. I admit there are times when maybe I've been a little harsh as I demanded better service from someone who may have been going through something much worse than I've ever had to face. I wonder if maybe I've expected too much from someone whose life is in shambles, or maybe even held back a tip from someone who is already distraught over her financial situation. Maybe I should just give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Actually, it might be a good idea for me to do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXCVI

It has always been my pleasure to welcome new people into my life, whether it be a new friend, a new baby, or even a new family member by means of a wedding. It's a time of hope for a new relationship that will last through the ages. The good news is, some of them do. However, some don't. As a young man, I often thought of older people and how they had to deal with loss more and more frequently as they aged. I recall thinking to myself, "I guess they reach the point to where they get used to it, and it just doesn't bother them that much any more." Now, as a man in my sixties, I'm beginning to wonder when will that happen. When will I get used to it? I have now had to deal with the loss of both my parents and my younger brother, as well as both of Angie's parents, and let me tell you, I felt real pain each time. In addition to those family members, I'm beginning to lose count of my cousins and close friends I've lost along the way. Death is just a fact of life, and as much as it hurts, we know it's gonna happen, which at least helps us understand it. Death can be easily explained. Losing someone through other means is more difficult to explain and as a result, can be equally as painful. I was a store manager for several years, and the most challenging part of that job was "managing"....dealing with people. Hiring a new employee was always a pleasure, but, at least for me, firing someone was something that tore at my insides and gave me sleepless nights. At times I found myself envying one of my colleagues who told me if someone needed to be fired, he actually "took pleasure" in doing so. But now, as I look back, I like my way better. Any time anyone who is a part of my life leaves my life, I feel pain. It's a period of grief. But really, that's how I want it to be. Every time I ever had to fire an employee, even those who were being dishonest, I found myself hurting for them. I've attended many funerals in my life, and I have reached the conclusion that I don't get used them. Each one of them hurts. I've had friends walk away from me, and it has hurt every single time. Even the times when I, myself, have concluded that it was time to put distance between me and a friend by just pulling back a little, I have felt pain, even though I had no doubt my actions were completely justified. God had a reason for giving us the ability to feel pain. Pain's purpose is to make bad things uncomfortable. If I accidentally put my hand in the fire, it's pain that makes me pull it back out, and to make sure I remember not to put it back in there again. I need to feel pain when I lose important people in my life just so I don't allow it to become too commonplace. That's the reason if I notice that too many people are walking away from me, I need to conduct a thorough self examination to determine what's causing the exodus and what I can do to fix it. Let me make it clear; if you're a part of my life, it is my sincere desire that neither you nor I ever feel that it's time to leave. My prayer today is, "Dear Lord, as much as I dislike hurting, please don't ever take away my ability to feel pain when I lose someone who matters to me, even when it's me who has to walk away. Amen." Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCV

Okay, I admit it. I was wrong. I'll explain later, but first I need to set up a foundation so you'll understand what I mean. I have family and friends who are employed in the medical field, including a pharmacist, an anesthetist, and one who works for a heart surgeon, and they can all vouch for what I'm about to say. Many of their clients could have avoided the situations they're facing now if they had made better choices concerning their lifestyles in their younger years. Everyone of us have to make choices multiple times on a daily basis, about all aspects of our lives. Even the decision not to choose is a choice. We live in a free country and we are free to choose to do whatever we want to do. Even if the law doesn't allow it, we can choose to violate the law. Where our freedom ends is where the consequences of our choices begin. Depending on how we choose, we will either face the consequences or reap the rewards of our choice. There's just something about sound of the word "reward" that I like better than the sound of the word "consequence." Today, it is our choice if we want to forgive or hold a grudge, smile or frown, tell the truth or exaggerate, to save money or waste it, to exercise or be lazy, to be positive or negative, or to wallow in self pity or get up and make something of our lives. And get ready, because the rewards or consequences will be sure to follow. Life happens to all of us, and each of us has the choice of how we're going to deal with it. One of my close friends is a fifty year old man named Phil Parker, and five years ago Phil was lying in a hospital bed, not knowing if he would ever walk again. Things that come natural even to the youngest among us, Phil had to re-learn at the age of forty-five, such as swallowing. He was suffering from a rare stroke that hits men in their forties, and if ever there was a man who had an excuse to have a pity party and sing "Oh Poor Pitiful Me," it was him. Instead, on the day that I'm writing this, this same Phil Parker ran his first full marathon (26.2 miles), finishing in less than five hours. With his faith in God and a determination of steel, he picked himself up and did the unthinkable. His result was a reward and not a consequence of a choice he made. Now for my admission: I used to say a man has no control over his thoughts, but I was wrong about that. I was under the impression that thoughts just pop into our heads and there's nothing we can do to stop them, but there was something I wasn't thinking about when I said that. It's Philippians 4:8 that says, "Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." If we were unable to control our thoughts, why would that verse be in the Bible? It would be a wasted scripture. My point is, we can even choose what we think. Am I going to be positive or negative today? It's my choice. Am I an optimist or a pessimist? That's for me, and only me, to choose. Can I get myself out of the funk I may find myself in? I can if I choose to do so. Sure, thoughts of jealousy, rage, evil, lust, and self pity may pop into my head, but if I do them like I do the weeds that spring up in my garden and pluck them out, I can control them. One friend told me just this morning, "I can't help what I see, but I can choose what I look at." The same concept works with our thoughts. I'm a good man, a winner, successful, and an overcomer, because it's what I choose to be. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCIV

I have a good friend who is an avid deer hunter, but he never uses a gun. His weapon of choice is a bow. With a liberal use of my imagination, I pictured myself as one of his arrows. If that were the case, what would my thoughts be as he quietly placed me in position on his bow as he prepared to shoot? Naturally, his next step would be to silently pull back on the string and aim. You see, arrows can't speak, which would be good at that time, because I would be looking at my target, knowing exactly where I needed to go, and I would want to yell, "Hey, the deer is in front of us!! Why are you pulling me backward, AWAY from my target?!" What my friend would know that I wouldn't was that in order for me to be propelled forward, I would first have to be pulled back in the exact opposite direction of my intended destination. When my daughter and son in law were living in Chattanooga, we had gone up there to visit one weekend, and we went for a drive on Lookout Mountain. As we were taking in all the scenery, we began to notice what appeared to be tiny specks in the sky. Upon closer examination, we realized the skies were full of hang gliders. We continued driving until we reached the "jumping off" point for all those hang gliding thrill seekers, so we stopped to watch as they would run and jump off the edge of an 1100 foot cliff. The one man we became friendly with traveled with the band, "Sugarland," and we watched and talked with him until he was ready to jump. Taking a running start, he bailed off the side of the cliff, and immediately disappeared....downward. In just a few moments however, we saw him soaring about a hundred feet over our heads. What appeared to us as a disastrous fall was actually necessary for him to get enough momentum to acquire the desired lift beneath his wings to send him soaring. In the early days of my career as a manufacturer's rep, I was barely limping along, struggling every month just to make ends meet. It seemed to me that practically every account I would visit was giving the majority of their business to my big competitor, while giving me the small "accommodation" orders. Some months I could pay all my bills, and other months I couldn't. Then one day that devastating call came from my company that they had hired a new sales manager, and he was laying off the entire sales staff, and replacing us with rep groups. My world, as I knew it, had just come to an end. As if things weren't already bad enough, they had just gotten much worse. I was devastated, and had no idea what to do next, except pray. And pray I did! It was then that the big competitor I was talking about heard what happened, and offered me a position. My income doubled overnight, and there's no way I could be where I am today had that not happened. The timing was perfect for me to lose my low paying job at the exact time my competitor was in need of a sales rep for a much higher paying position. And speaking of perfect timing, about five minutes ago, as I was typing this article, I received a random text from another close friend with this quote: "Where you are today is no accident. God is using the situation you are in right now to shape you and prepare you for the place he wants to bring you into tomorrow. Trust him with his plan even if you don't understand it." For the arrow to reach the deer, it first had to be pulled back AWAY from it. For the hang glider to soar into the sky, he first had to plummet away from the sky, toward the ground below. For me to get the GOOD job I needed, I first had to lose the BAD one I had. So.....if it seems like you are being pulled back away from your goal, you'd better get ready, you're about to soar! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCIII

I had set my cruise to seventy-four on that Texas two lane highway with a seventy mph speed limit, yet compared to the other traffic, I appeared to be just another pokey old senior citizen who was in everyone else's way. After all, wasn't it obvious to me that the general flow of traffic was going much faster than the posted speed limit? There was a group of four vehicles riding my tail just waiting for an opportunity to get around me. Finally, their chance came and all four of them, a Dodge Ram, an old model S10 pickup, a Honda Pilot, and a white Ford F-150 with a headache rack and a company name on the door, darted past me like I was sitting still. Soon they were all out of sight, but just a couple miles up the road, I saw a Texas Highway Patrol had the Honda Pilot pulled over. I passed up that Honda like he was sitting still. (Actually, he was.) Yep, even I, the slow poke old man, got to the next town before he did, and I didn't even have to pay a fine. There's a saying I've heard down through the years, from both young and old alike: "With age comes wisdom." Yes, I know people say that, but really, how many believe it? I don't know any younger person who wants to act like an old man or woman. How many people will look at an older person and determine that they're going to make that man or woman a role model? How many would sincerely ask for a few tidbits of that wisdom? What has experience taught our more senior friends and family members that would help us in the struggles we face on a daily basis? Well, as a person who has lived more than six decades, I'll share some of what little wisdom I have accumulated. One of the first things that comes to mind is the fact that what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong, no matter how many people are doing it. Referring back to the first paragraph, we see that just because the general flow of traffic was greatly exceeding the speed limit, it didn't make it acceptable. You see, our older and wiser neighbors have learned not to allow the phrase "everybody's doing it" affect their decisions. That's one of the reasons the older generation refuses to follow every short term fashion trend of the day. (They also know the quickest way to kill a fashion trend is for old people to start wearing it.) Experience has also taught them that trivial minutiae is not worth getting worked up over. In other words, Grandpa and Grandma may have disagreements, but they know that by tomorrow they will be forgotten, so they're not going to lose any sleep over them tonight, while their younger counterparts will stay puffed up for days over the same disputes. They have also learned that it can save a lot of trouble and heartache if they look to a more knowledgeable individual to help them solve problems that crop up. In other words, they have learned to ask for advice. I can almost hear an aging mother telling her daughter, "The grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence." The daughter replies, "But there's a devil on this side." Mom's response, "There's one on the other side too, and the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know." That list could go on and on, but you get the message. Our more elder protégés have gained more wisdom simply because they have more experience. They're not smarter....just wiser. This is generally true for most of our senior citizens, but definitely not with all of them. I like a quote I saw posted by my friend, Gil Martin: With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCII

My five year old granddaughter, Lennon, does not like to hold my hand when we are crossing the street or walking across a busy shopping center parking lot, but with her tendency to just take off running without regard to traffic, it's something I insist on. Yesterday, however, was a different story. Angie and I had gone to watch her big brother, Lake, in his soccer game. When the game was over and we were all walking back to the car, she wanted Angie and me both to hold her hand. We figured out the reason really quickly...she wanted to go home with us. There was an ulterior motive behind her sweetness to us. It makes me feel good that she enjoys going to our house, but I also had to wonder if the art of "buttering us up" is a natural tendency or is it learned behavior? I thought it was cute the way she tried to play us, but there are times when adults try the same tricks, and that is NOT cute. Do you ever feel like you have "friends"who try to flatter you strictly in an effort to fulfill their own selfish desires? I will admit there have been times when I was gullible and fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It didn't take me long to become wise to their intentions, though, and then it just made me angry. I have received calls from people I haven't heard from in years, and the first thing I hear is how I have been on their mind lately, and they just wanted to call to let me know how much I mean to them.....oh, and also, as it turns out, they would also like some of my money in the form of a donation or some business proposition in which they would greatly benefit. If it's a business call, just let me know and we can go from there, but trying to "sweet talk" me first only makes me mad. I remember one time when I worked in retail, a young man walked into my store and asked me to remind him of the man's name who worked in the shoe department. I told him it was Jim, and he went back there and started talking to Jim like they were long lost best friends. Eventually he got around to asking Jim to co-sign on a car loan. Jim laughed in his face. It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." Being friends is a two way street. There has to be give and take on both sides, but in true friendships, what's in the best interest of the other person is always a factor in every decision you make in regards to the two of you. When it's not like that, the other party figures it out in a hurry. One of the most annoying things I face is when I realize someone is attempting to disrupt my life solely for their own benefit. That type of friendship is short lived. Let's make a deal. If I decide in our friendship, you're the sole beneficiary, I will walk away; and you do the same with me. You see, true friends love each other, and when that's the case, what works best for me cannot be my only consideration. Friends don't have an "it's all about me" attitude. Instead, it's more of an "it's about us" frame of mind, which requires each person to truly consider the needs and desires of their friends. I have friends who genuinely regard my best interest, and I do the same for them. Those are the keepers. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCI

One day when Lake, my grandson, was about two years old, it was just he and I at my house, and I made the statement, "I'm gonna get some apple juice." Immediately I heard that small voice behind me, "I gonna get appa juice." I poured each of us a glass, and leaned back against the cabinet, and crossed one leg over the other. I looked at him and he was doing the exact same thing as me, with his legs crossed just like mine. Then it hit me: With every move I make, I'm being watched and copied. Not only that, I'm being heard and repeated. When the gravity of that reality sank in, I suddenly became more aware of my words and actions lest I be instrumental in leading a small, impressionable child down a path he shouldn't travel. It wasn't long until I became much more aware of what I was doing or saying. I would start to say something, then I would think about who was listening. Even when I was drinking my tea with my meal, I would hold my glass with both hands, because someone was watching and wanting to do everything just like I did. Then another fact occurred to me. Although Lake was watching me, he watched his parents even more, but his dad had been watching and listening to ME for about twenty-seven years at that time. My words and actions of today and yesterday will have an impact on the type of adult Lake turns out to be, which will in turn affect the life he lives in front of his children and grandchildren. Consequently, generations following me, ones I'll never get to meet, will be impacted by what I do and say today. Do my words and actions carry weight? I should say they do, considering the fact that fifty years from now their effect will still be felt. Am I the type person who gives up and quits when I face the slightest opposition, or do I have a determination of steel? Those behind me are watching. Do I say whatever I need to say just to get me by for that moment, without regard to the truth? Those behind me are listening. What kind of husband and dad am I? Those behind me are watching. Am I faithful to my family, my friends, my boss, and most of all, to God? Those behind me are watching. Am I quick to lose my temper, fly off the handle and yell obscenities? Those behind me are listening. Am I unstable or unreliable? Those behind me are watching. How do I react when I face difficult situations? Those behind me are watching. Am I constantly chasing rainbows, while neglecting the tried and true? Those behind me are watching. Am I a hard worker? Those behind me are watching. One more point: When I refer to "those behind me," it may be more than just my offspring. There may be those who are observing my actions while I'm not even aware of my impact on their lives. It's an awesome responsibility that I should not take lightly. What will be my legacy? Those behind me are watching. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXC

I can only remember seeing my dad cry three times....on the first Mother's Day after my grandmother died, when his brother died, and and the day he backed over my little brother in the car (My brother was not injured. Just the enormity of the whole incident overwhelmed my dad.) As a little boy growing up, I heard over and over, big boys aren't supposed to cry. That one line has replayed in my head practically every time I've felt that knot in my throat and the tears on the verge of surfacing. Big boys don't cry. We're supposed to be tough. I know without a doubt that Dad shed a lot of tears I didn't know about, and honestly, I wish I had seen more tears flowing from his eyes so the embarrassment of being unable to restrain my own tears wouldn't affect me now the way it has since I've become an adult. It's okay for a man to cry.....even in public, but even now in the twenty-first century, we men are subjected to ridicule if we dare allow a tear to surface, or let our voices break while speaking. If you don't believe that, just listen to the way John Boehner is treated after one of his speeches. Women are typically more emotional that us men, so it's just more acceptable for them to be seen shedding tears. Deep down, I know it's really okay for a man to cry, but with a mindset that has been engrained into my head for six decades that tears are taboo, it's hard to just flush it out of my mind all at once. In February, 2014, I was asked to speak at my father-in-law's funeral. After my own dad's death in 1986, I began to look to my wife's dad as my father figure, and on the day of his death I wrote a "straight from the heart" tribute to him. As I read my own words to the congregation that day, I had a difficult time speaking due to my voice breaking and tears flooding my eyes. (Even now, tears are welling in my eyes as I type this.) I admit I felt a degree of humiliation because I couldn't hold back my tears in front of hundreds of people. About a year prior to that time, I had been asked to give my testimony to a Run for God class, and I spoke about some things very personal to me, which also resulted in tears and feelings of embarrassment. That's ridiculous, I know, but I also know there are multiplied millions of other men who can identify with what I'm saying. Several weeks ago in one of these blogs, I wrote about the Jason Crabb song, "Sometimes I Cry," and I spoke about how there are times when I'm alone, I cry. Well, today I'm here to tell you, as some of you have witnessed, sometimes I cry when I'm NOT alone, even though I'm a man! I'm happy to announce I've reached the point to where I don't worry about it that much any more. I'm bigger than that now. Yes, I know the old cliché is still out there that "big boys don't cry," but I have a rebuttal to that statement: Tough ones do. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXIX

When I was a kid growing up, I had an uncle I really admired and respected. He was very athletic, and he and I spent many hours together hiking in the woods or riding bicycles along all the roads in the Nebo area. He died suddenly when he was in his early forties and I was in my twenties, but I still remember much of the advice he gave me. One of the pieces of advice I received from him is what I want to focus on today: "When someone offers you something, take it." When I think about it, it really makes sense. After all, if they offer it, they must not mind giving it to me. If they offer it but they don't actually want to give it to me, it will be a learning experience for them....to never offer something they don't want to give. There's one more very compelling reason to take that advice, and I want to illustrate it with a story I heard a few years ago. A young couple found themselves in dire financial straits, and they were in a situation where they had three days to pay their electricity bill or they would be cut off. In desperation, they finally prayed for God to come to their rescue. The next day, a friend from church called and asked if they could keep her three kids overnight, and she offered to pay them almost exactly what they needed to get caught up on their electricity bill. The young bride was heard telling someone a few days later, "I had prayed for God to help us, but before He could get to it, my friend from church payed me to babysit, and that gave us enough to pay it." I have news for that young lady, and this is the other reason to take my uncle's advice.....God works through people. I'm reminded of Luke 6:38 which says, "Give and it shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, shall men give into your bosom." The point there is if we give, we will receive, but it specifies that when we receive, it will be from other people. God works through people. Without a doubt, there are many people who are instrumental in carrying out the work of God who never have any idea that's what they're doing. For others, there is no doubt in their minds that their work is part of a divine plan. It makes me wonder if there have been times when God was using me for His purpose and I didn't even know it. Who knows....maybe it's better that way. I sure don't want to be the one taking credit for something that's really God's work. However, it would be nice to know that I was following His plan and direction. I'll say it one more time....God works through people. Therefore, if He wants to use someone else to bless me, I'll let Him. If somebody offers me something, I'll take it. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXVIII

When I first started my business, a lady in a neighboring showroom at the Dallas Apparel Mart told me she wanted to speak to me about something. The gist of what she had to say was that her territory with a few of the lines she was carrying included Louisiana and Mississippi, and since she was Dallas based, she just couldn't get to those states as often as needed, due to her busy schedule. She wanted to know if I was interested in covering those two states for her. That was just the boost I needed to get my business up and running, so we made a deal. The arrangement worked well for both of us for three or four years until my own business had grown to the point to where I just didn't have time to do her lines justice, so I resigned. We parted ways as friends, and have remained so down through the years, although our respective businesses have taken different turns, and I just don't see her as often. Well, yesterday I saw her, so I sat down with her and her husband to "catch up" on what has been going on in each others' lives. I left feeling depressed. Things have taken a downward turn for her, and I've never heard such negative talk coming from her in the nearly thirty years of our acquaintance. I tried to encourage her, but I felt awkward and didn't really know what to say. One of the hardest things to do is to keep a positive attitude when life throws us lemons, and I'm speaking with the voice of experience. However, an upbeat frame of mind is vital to get us back on our feet and back into the victory column. I've seen it work both ways in sports. Joe Montana was a master at it. I don't know how many times I've seen him down by as much as twenty-one points late in the game, yet he never gave up and never stopped believing he could pull out a win....and so many times he did just that. I've also seen the dejected looks on the faces of players who were behind, and every time I've seen those looks, they lost. When things are spiraling downward, a negative attitude only hastens our demise. Our attitude also affects those around us. Several years ago, my wife discovered just how contagious her attitude could be. When she walked into her office on Monday morning with a frown on her face, talking about how much she was dreading that day and week, it wouldn't be long until the entire office staff had the same frame of mind, and sure enough, it was a bad week. However, there were other days, when even though they knew they had a hard week ahead, if she walked in with a smile on her face and talked about how she was ready for the week's challenges, soon the entire staff would be laughing, and that tough week ended up not being so bad after all. A few weeks ago I mentioned a friend who is going through a divorce, yet every time I see her, she has a smile on her face. Trust me, she is feeling pain, but I have a good feeling about her future, all because of the positive way in which she is dealing with her problem. Whatever my situation is today, it's gonna change. Nothing ever stays the same. Without a doubt, I have problems in my future that at this point I can't see coming. I'm not worrying about them, though, because I know I will get through them. And again, I'm speaking with the voice of experience. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXVII

I'm one of the fortunate ones! There are people, both family and friends, who will think about me several times today. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but if I disappeared tomorrow, many of them would be frantically searching for me....not giving up until I was found. Today is a travel day for me, and I can board my flights with the assurance that prayers will be going up on my behalf, asking God to keep his hand of protection on me until I'm safely at home. What an awesome feeling it is just knowing I'm loved, and having that love expressed to me. The most compassionate act performed by a mother turtle is when she looks for a safe place to lay her eggs. Once the eggs are laid and covered, she is done, and she heads back into the water, never to check on her kids again. We humans are polar opposites. Although we rarely use these exact words, from the cradle to the grave, we plead, "Please love me!" A baby's first cry is a plea for love. When a person's life is about to end, they long to have all their loved ones with them for that final breath. All the time in between those two moments, we crave love. Perhaps you have known individuals who were craving love and acceptance so desperately, when you showed them special attention, they would cling to you as if they would never let you go. I believe that's why, in the first part of Genesis 2:18, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone..." A few weeks ago, I wrote about the different contexts from which we use the phrase "I love you," but expressing love requires so much more than words. I recently heard the statement that the average human needs to be physically touched by another human at least eight times a day. Just a little pat on the shoulder, a light hug, a light touch on the arm, etc. may seem insignificant, but trust me, they are noticed. Another way of expressing love is to make sure we let others know we are thinking about them. A card, text, call, or email that says, "I'm thinking of you today" can brighten the day and lift the spirits of practically any warm blooded human being. What an awesome feeling it is when I know I've lifted someone's spirits, and today I have an opportunity to do just that. Whose day can you brighten? Will you make a positive difference in someone's life today? There are those of you among my family and friends who will be reading this article who regularly make what may seem like small gestures to me in the way of calls and texts that just let me know I'm important to you. As small as these acts may seem, they appear large from my point of view. You know who you are, but I don't know if you're aware just how much they mean to me. I'm one of the fortunate ones! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXVI

One of my close friends just cut me down to size. Well, sort of. I needed it though. The odd thing about it is, that was not the intention, and the full knowledge of its effect on me will only be made clear to her when she reads this article. Here's how it happened: My conversations with myself take place in front of the mirror. On my darkest days, I go to the mirror. When I'm on the mountain top, I go to the mirror. I don't talk out loud, but I have silent conversations with the guy looking back at me. Well, here lately, things have been going pretty good for me...business has been good, my family seems to be in a healthy state, Angie and I have become happily involved in our church, and we have an abundance of good friends. Things, in fact, have been going so well, it called for a trip to the mirror for a happy face to face chat with that awesome guy looking back. I said, "Well, we've finally got things going our way, don't we. I guess it just goes to prove you're a pretty smart guy after all. I really think it's gonna stay this way this time. Yep, if you were the bragging type, you could back up your words now." Then came that text. When I first read it, my head swelled just a little bit more. I took it the way it was intended, as a statement of honor. These are not the exact words, but the general message was, "I've been wanting and looking for a strong spiritual influence in my life, and I believe you're filling that role." That's it. That's all it was. So I headed back to the mirror to gloat just a little more, but when I got there, the guy looking back was not the same person I had seen on my previous visit. The man I saw this time was flawed. His imperfections were prominently displayed, and I saw him as a creature prone to making mistakes. All the intelligence that was so evident just a few hours earlier had been replaced with the reality of just how ignorant and "not ready for prime time" he really is. I turned and stepped away thinking, "Me? A spiritual role model? There must be some mistake. My friend just needs to go to the Bible for that spiritual influence." You see, the Bible is full of good examples of quality spiritual people. Peter, for instance. Of course, he was a hot headed, fly off the handle kind of guy, who even turned his back on his best friend when the situation became uncomfortable. Okay, what about Paul? Oh yeah, he did get into some serious disputes with some of his colleagues. Then what about Moses? Well, some people believe he had a speech impediment, and I know he threw a few temper tantrums. Maybe we could look at David. Oh yeah, I had forgotten that he had an affair with another man's wife, and then arranged to have her husband killed. Hmmmm. Some of those guys are worse than me. Okay, I get the message. As strongly as I feel about not wanting to ever be a bad influence or give faulty advice to my friend, I have to accept the fact that if someone wants a spiritual mentor, they will have to pick an imperfect person, because that's all there is to choose from. After all, who would want to seek advice about how to deal with problems, weaknesses, and errors in judgment from someone who never had any and didn't have a track record of overcoming them? I really believe this awesome responsibility is making me a better person. I'm not sure I qualify, but I pray I can measure up. Me? A strong spiritual influence? I've never really thought of myself like that before. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXIX

A young man and a young woman sit together, gazing into each other's eyes, whispering softly, completely oblivious to the world around them; and suddenly for the first time, he utters those three special words, "I love you." She is thrilled and responds with, "I love you too." At that same time, in another part of the country, a young woman recites the same three words as she closes a phone conversation with her dad, "I love you." He answers with, "I love you too, Sweetheart." In a church in yet another part of the country, a forty-something year old woman sits on a pew, solemnly waiting for her dad's funeral to begin, when her husband points to the door, telling her their long-time friends have just entered. They are greeted with long, tearful hugs, and those three magic words, "I love you." And then, down in the southern part of the country, there's me, where my wife has just made a fresh chocolate pie. With coffee in my left hand and a fork in my right, I look longingly at my slice, and with tears welling in my eyes, I whisper, "I love you." These examples exemplify one of the shortcomings of the English language: One little word, used four different ways, all with similar, yet different meanings. The romantic meaning in the first illustration, is not the same as the parental love in the second example, while both of these are unlike the analogies in the love between friends and the love I have for my favorite dessert. Since we have to use the same phrase for all four of those scenarios, we just have to hope the person to whom we direct those words understands the context that is intended. Today, I would like to zero in on the third example....the love between friends. It's easy for me to tell my wife I love her, and it just comes natural for me to express my love for my kids. I have no problem informing anyone of my love for chocolate pie, bread pudding, carrot cake, etc., etc. Sometimes, however, saying "I love you" to a friend is a little more awkward, and I think it's because I don't want anyone mistaking the way I mean it. Even still, I'm of the opinion we should tell our friends how we feel about them more often than we do. Therefore, please allow me to set the record straight: The meaning of the phrase in my first illustration is reserved for my wife alone. If you're not a part of my family, or if you're not food, examples two and four do not apply to you. But please also understand that if you're a friend and you hear those words from me, I consider you to be a special part of my life. I will not throw those words around lightly. If ever there was a time for us to let people know how much they mean to us, it's today. I have friends who have expressed to me how much I mean to them, and I have to tell you, that picks me up like nothing else can. If you're like me, you need to hear that sometimes. For some reason, in our society and culture, it's fairly easy for a woman to tell another woman how much she loves her, but we men struggle with expressing those feelings to another man. I also believe it's a little more difficult for any of us to express our feelings to members of the opposite sex due to the fear of the words being misunderstood. As one who has experienced the elation of being told how much I'm appreciated, I'm working on getting better at expressing my feelings to others. Why don't we commit to telling someone how we feel today. So, my friend, now that you've read today's blog, if you hear me tell you "I love you," you know I don't mean it in a romantic sense, and unless you smell like cinnamon rolls, I know you're not food. And if I tell you, I'll mean it. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXIII

It was a twice in a lifetime event for me: My child, my own flesh and blood, whom I raised from birth to adulthood, reached that inevitable point where it's time to leave the nest. I'll never forget when that day came for my firstborn. She was moving out of town, and we loaded her belongings into her car and my van, then headed out. Her fifteen year old brother went along for the ride and to help with the moving. We took two cars down and came back in one. Three people went down there, and only two came back. I was a big boy, all calm and collected, as my son and I walked out of her apartment, but I promise you, if someone would've said "boo" to me, I think I would've sobbed. It was a quiet ride home. Had I been alone, I would have cried. Just a few short years later, I happened to be working out of town when that day came for my son, and my wife was helping him pack his things to move out when he said, "Mom, you don't want me to go, do you?" She just said, "No," as she was choking back tears. On the day I'm writing this, I have just come home from a funeral. My good friend, Elizabeth, lost her mom, and during the service, there was a song that Elizabeth dedicated to her mother, and it really hits home with me. It is the Jason Crabb song that says, "Sometimes I hurt, and sometimes I cry." In that song, he talks about how he's one of these guys who seems to have everything going his way, yet there are times when he endures heartache, and when no one else is around, he cries. I wouldn't say this, or even think it, for that matter, if I hadn't heard it so many times, but a number of people have told Angie and me that they look at us a couple who has it all together. They tell us we both have good jobs, we've raised two great kids who are now successful adults, we have good heads on our shoulders, and life is basically going our way. Well, maybe so, but I was probably giving that same impression the day I drove away, leaving my daughter alone in her apartment, more than three hours away, for the first time. I can promise you, though, I was hurting at that moment. You wouldn't have known it by looking at me, however. I have another friend who has recently gone through a divorce, and every time I see her, she has a smile on her face. As a friend who knows some of her story, I see telltale signs that there's pain inside, but to a stranger, she appears to be living a happy, carefree life. An hour or so ago, I sent Elizabeth a text, telling her what a beautiful service it was, and how much I loved that song. Her response was, "...that song touches me, and matches me." Well, Elizabeth, my friend, I feel the same way, because "I try to look strong, as the whole world looks on, but sometimes, alone, I cry." I dare say every person reading my thoughts today can identify with those lyrics. The trouble is, we usually can't tell by looking, so how do we know who needs to be treated with gentleness? How about every person we meet! Being treated with gentle kindness never hurt anyone. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXII

When I was born, I was just a little baby. What about you? I was completely helpless, able to do absolutely nothing on my own. I was totally without knowledge, therefore all information that came my way was new to me. The first thing I learned was if I cried I would be fed or get my diaper changed. As far as I was concerned, the whole world revolved around me. Still, the information kept coming, and I began to understand the unfortunate fact that there were other people in this world who demanded just as much attention as I did. As time progressed, my parents, knowing I wanted to grow up and be a big boy, began the long, slow process of trying to teach me that I was selfish because I was a baby, and if I wanted to be a big boy, I had to start acting like one, which meant I would have to accept the fact that there were other people around me whose needs were just as important as mine. It has been a long, slow process, more than six decades in the making, but I'm slowly coming to the knowledge that my life goes a whole lot smoother when I live by the motto, "It's not about me." Sure, I want nice things for ME and MY family, and when it's time for me to depart this world, I hope to have a few things I can leave for MY kids. If I don't take care of those items of business, no one will, but if I make that my sole purpose, I'm afraid I'll reach the end of life feeling unfulfilled and never get to experience the best life has to offer. If I continue in my greedy, selfish ways, that means I'm still acting the way I did when I was a baby, and I've yet to grow up and be the "big boy" I always dreamed of being. "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." (I Corinthians 13:11 NIV) Is it okay for my good friend to also have other friends? If not, I'm making it all about me. If I'm upset about a decision my preacher made at church, I'm making it all about me. If I have to speed up to get to that good parking spot before that other car gets it, I'm making it all about me. If I expect everyone else to always let me have my way, I'm making it all about me. If I'm constantly whining and complaining, I'm acting like a baby and making it all about me. If I want to always charge you full price, yet I try to talk you out of making a fair profit off me, I'm making it all about me. I wonder what life would be like if everyone could develop an "It's not about me" attitude. There would be no war. There wouldn't even be any fights or arguments. Politicians would truly seek the will of the people. No one would get their feelings hurt. Crime would disappear. There would be no such thing as aggressive drivers. I would be just as happy to see your kids succeed in life as I am for mine. I would make my decisions based on what's best for everyone involved. Yes, when I entered this world, I was a baby, and everything was about me. How nice it would be if long before I die, I will be able to achieve my goal and say, "I finally made it. I'm a big boy now!" Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXI

What do we do when we know company is coming? For most of us, we start cleaning and straightening our houses, making sure everything is in order and looking as good as possible. Why do we do that? Are we trying to create the impression that an immaculate home is the norm for us? How many of you believe you come close to the world record on the fastest house cleaning when you find out someone will be there in fifteen minutes? Have you ever been to someone else's house when you weren't expected, and their home was topsy turvy? I have, and to be honest, it made me feel good just knowing other people's houses can get just as messy as mine can sometime become. So......what would our homes look like if we knew no one would ever be coming to visit? Let's face it. Much of what we do, or how we act, has to do with how we appear, or how we relate, to other people. What is your weakness? Think about it. Is it jealously? Insecurity? Feelings of inferiority? Do you feel unattractive? Do you think you're a loser? Now....what is the one thing all the feelings I just mentioned have in common? They all stem from how we relate to our fellow man. Just this morning I was looking at Instagram and I saw a little poem, posted by a good friend, that tied in with this topic that was already on my mind. It's called "Masks." Here it is: She had blue skin And so did he. He kept it hid, And so did she. They searched for blue Their whole life through, Then passed right by-- And never knew. We constantly do our best to hide our flaws and imperfections to give the appearance that we're actually a little closer to perfect than we really are, and by doing so, we cause others who have the same blemishes to feel even more inadequate. For practically all my life I've battled with feelings of inadequacy, like I just don't measure up to what others expect of me or want me to be. As a result, I've worked on trying to exhibit an air of self confidence. I guess maybe it's similar to what we call the "little man syndrome" where a man of small stature subconsciously acts big and tough in an effort to cover what he feels makes him look weak in the eyes of his peers. It's as if we live our entire lives in competition with everyone else. If we're around someone who is smart, we may try to give the impression that we're just as smart, or smarter, than they are. What would life be like if all of us would remove our facades and become a little more transparent? Regardless of our income, our social status, how beautiful or handsome we are, or what our level of education may be, we all have areas where we're lacking. I do, you do, and so does everyone else we meet. The older I get, however, the more I realize my friends and family love me for who I am, and not for who I pretend to be. Actually, you might even like me better when I stop trying to make it appear I don't have these flaws, and become more comfortable with who I am. If you come ringing my doorbell in the next five minutes, you may also find my house a little less neat than it was when you were here and I was expecting you. This is the real me. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXX

Two separate incidents, similar in nature, and practically identical as they relate to the audacity of some people: The most recent was perpetrated by a twelve year old boy in the store of one of my clients. The other one was committed by a forty-something year old woman several years ago in a retail clothing store I was managing at the time. Here's what happened two weeks ago with the twelve year old: He walked into the store with his mom, and once inside, they each went to different areas of the store. The store has my product hanging on a wall, covering an area about ten feet wide, and he proceeded to pee on as much of it as he could, ruining more than $2,000 worth of merchandise. Fortunately, an employee of the store saw it happen, and security cameras caught every bit of the action, resulting in his parents being ordered to pay for everything he ruined. Now, the other one: The women's dressing room area in my store was connected to the alteration room, with a half door separating them. The alteration lady was working in her room, and she could hear activity in the dressing room next to her; then she heard that distinctive sound, and she knew what was happening. She ran in there and saw a woman in her mid forties squatting, urinating on the carpeted dressing room floor. The alteration lady said she yelled, "Stop that!! You stop that right now!!" The woman obeyed......as soon as she was finished. I was not in the store when it happened, and no one there filed any charges. Most of you by now are probably asking, "Who, in their right mind, could possibly DO something so repulsive?" I believe it goes beyond that. People can DO almost anything, both good and bad, but what really matters is less about what we DO, and more about what we ARE. For example, I could do some research to find out what compassionate people do, and then actually go out and perform some acts of compassion to try to convince those around me I'm a compassionate guy. However, when it's nothing more than an acting job, it has a hollowness to it and fools no one. I remember a well known politician a few years ago who wanted to convince hunters he was one of them, so he took his camera crew with him to record all the action. Once he got into position, they had a captive goose, which they released in front of him, and as it started flying, he shot it, with the cameras catching only the flying goose and the candidate shooting it down. He wanted us to see that he could do what hunters do, but it was obvious he was NOT a hunter. One of the most quoted sermons ever preached is what we know as "The Sermon on the Mount," also referred to as "The Beatitudes," and it informs us who will be blessed. We notice that Jesus didn't say "Blessed are those who do what the pure in heart do." or "Blessed are those who do what the merciful do." He just said, "Blessed are the pure in heart" and "Blessed are the merciful." Do you see the difference? Sure, my wife wants me to perform the duties of a loving husband, but what she really wants is for me to actually BE a loving husband, and she'll know if I am or if I'm not. If I AM that loving husband, I won't have to worry about trying to do what they do because I'll do it automatically. You see, all actors step out of character once in a while. As far as the boy and the woman I told you about in the first paragraph, I think you and I both could name what they are, and although a judge could order them to never commit such horrible deeds again, until they experience a complete transformation of the heart, they can be described similar to that line in a song by The Eagles: "You're still the same old girl you used to be." Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXIX

Here's my life's story. It's not actually an accurate account of my life, but if things had always gone the way I wanted them to go, this is how it would sound:  Once upon a time down in Alexandria, Louisiana, a handsome little prince was born. He was, without a doubt, the most fortunate child in all of history, since he breezed through an entire lifetime without ever having to face any type of adversity. He always stayed physically fit, yet he never had to exert himself in any way. He never had to experience pain, hurt feelings, sleepless nights due to worry, or the humiliation of losing any game he ever played. His pockets constantly contained an abundance of cash, yet he only worked when he wanted to work, and stayed home whenever he felt like it. His children were just like him, as they were always well behaved and polite. He was loved by everyone he met, and was never misunderstood by anyone. Stress was a foreign word to him, while coffee and donuts were perpetually at his fingertips. Everything in his entire life went exactly according to plan until it was time to tell his life's story, and that's when he realized he had the dullest, most boring story ever told.  The End. Adversity, imperfection, storms, and heartache are all necessary evils that enhance our lives' stories, and without them our stories would be just like the story I told to open this article...dull and boring.  I could be of no help to you nor anyone else if my story was actually like the inaccurate account I gave in the first paragraph, since no one would care to hear any of my advice if I didn't have some experience under my belt that I could share. Yes, we know it's the hard times that shape us and make us what we are, and though we are aware that we need them, we never want them to come our way right now. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we could schedule our troubled times for a specific time and place?  I don't think I would like that, because I would spend what were supposed to be my good, happy times worrying about the hard times on my schedule. In poll after poll, when Americans are asked who was the best President ever, the answer is almost always the same....Abraham Lincoln. If ever there was a man with a story to tell, it was Abraham Lincoln, but it surely would not be about his easy, carefree life. He was an individual who faced real adversity, defeat, and personal loss for much of his entire life. He was hated by many, and had to learn to live with the proverbial target on his back. His multitude of problems and how he dealt with them are what made him great, making him a prime example of the fact that it's not the good times that build character. I love to watch my grandson play ball, and I pull for his team to win every game they play, but they need to lose sometime so they can learn the valuable lesson of coping with defeat. If there's one thing I hate, it's having an unhappy customer, yet they have taught me some important principles concerning my career.  None of us enjoy trouble, but it's trouble that makes us who we are and teaches us to succeed in life, so, if that's the case, I guess we should welcome hard times.....we just don't want them today. Preston   

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXVIII

Words are mere sounds emitted from the mouth of an individual, and are totally meaningless, having no power within themselves. Words are potent, with the potential of being able to permanently transform a person's life, both for good or bad. Words can fall flat, having no impact on anyone, never to be remembered again by either the speaker or the hearer. Words can build up or destroy, remaining in the consciousness of a person until he or she enters the grave. Words can produce illness, yet words can heal. Words can cause a person to lose his way. Words can direct a person back to the right path. Words can agree, and words can contradict. In fact, the words you've just read in this paragraph all seem to be contradictory to other words I've written, some even in the same sentence, yet there is truth in basically everything I've said. How can words be so diametrically opposed, yet all be true? Could some of it have to do with the person who is speaking those words? Some words carry weight no matter who it is that utters them. For example, hurtful, destructive words will be harmful coming from anyone. Other words may carry no weight at all if the speaker is a person who has a reputation of not living up to his promises or his claims of self greatness. There are two words we should take a look at while we're on this topic. They're what we know as adjectives, and one or the other of them can be used to describe every individual, and when they're properly used, they will give an indication of how much weight the words of that person may carry. Those words are "reliable" and "unreliable." As I think about those descriptions, I have to wonder which one describes me. "Don't worry, I'll take care of that for you." "Yes, I'll be ready for you to pick me up at 6:00 o'clock." I'll put you a check in the mail today." "I'll be praying for you." "Your secret is safe with me." "Okay, good, I'll see you in the morning." Those are just a few examples of words that either we can put in the bank, or they're completely hollow. It all depends on which of those two adjectives describes the person doing the talking....reliable or unreliable. If I make any of those statements, I sure hope they don't have that hollow, flat sound; instead, I want them to be trusted. Also, I want to arrange my words so they build, and do not destroy. In a conversation with my brother a few days ago, he quoted a little rule of thumb that really made sense: "Never say never, and always avoid always." Here's an example: If I say to my child, "You were supposed to clean your room, and you didn't do it," I am addressing a behavioral issue that needs to be corrected. However, if I say, "You never do what you're supposed to do," I'm attacking and low-rating him as a person, and he will end up with low self esteem as a result. And speaking of kids, if we make a promise to them and don't follow through, our words will become empty even in the eyes of our own children. Do my words carry weight? The answer to that question is completely up to me, and if they don't, I can fix it, although it may take a while to repair my faulty reputation. You see, reputations can be destroyed much faster than they can be rebuilt. Recently I was reading in the most reliable book ever written, and it promised us that we will be held accountable for every idle word. (Matthew 12:36) That tells me we should think before we speak, and we should say what we mean and mean what we say. I pray that my words be a positive force in my world. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXVII

I've heard it said if nobody sees you eating it, it won't make you fat. Really? If that be the case, I should probably eat every meal in secret until I lose a few pounds, and from that point on, only eat lettuce and tuna in public. Sure, I know the person who said that was just kidding, but do we sometimes actually believe in that principle? No, I don't sneak around to eat anything, although I know a few people who do, and it shows. No doubt each one of us would be quick to say we really don't believe that statement, but how many of us apply that same logic to other areas of our lives? It's like we're saying, "I know this could be harmful to me, so I'm gonna make sure no one ever knows what I'm doing." This is not the first time I've used this analogy, but how many of you remember the book and the outdoor drama in Branson, Missouri called "Shepherd of the Hills?" Sammie Lane was a beautiful young woman whose primary goal in life was to be a "sure enough lady." She looked at Old Matt as a sure enough gentleman, and Aunt Molly as a sure enough lady, and she did her best to mimic their lifestyles. How does one qualify to bear the title as a sure enough gentleman or a sure enough lady? Let's take a look at some of the qualities required for that honor. Looking at a sure enough gentleman or lady, we'll see honesty, integrity, reliability, trustworthiness, selflessness, and the one I want to zero in on today, genuineness. That means if I'm a sure enough gentleman, the man you see is who I am, even when I'm alone. If I'm a different individual when I'm around my co-workers or the guys in the hunting club than I am when I'm with my friends from church, then I'm not genuine and don't qualify as a sure enough gentleman. If I have a secret life no one else knows about, I'm not genuine. Instead, I'm what's known as a hypocrite, and the problem with my hypocrisy is eventually others will begin to figure out the real me. I wish I could say I've always lived up to the principles of a sure enough gentleman, yet there have been times when I've had some secrets I didn't want exposed, but the good thing about it is, even if I'm falling short today, it's never too late to make an about face and actually become the man I pretend to be. You see, if I only eat lettuce and tuna in public, but I'm secretly eating cake and ice cream every night just before going to bed, it WILL make me fat, and others will notice. If you and I are hypocrites, people will figure it out. If we're "sure enough" ladies and gentlemen, they'll figure that out too. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXVI

If a person accidentally kills another human being, chances are, he will still have to pay for his actions, even though it was strictly unintentional. Those rules go way back, even to biblical times, but back then, there was a way of escape. Here's an example of what I mean: Let's say a man was chopping down a tree with an ax, and the ax head flew off the handle, striking another man, killing him. A family member of the victim could then legally seek and carry out revenge for the death of his loved one. There was only one thing the man with the ax could do to spare his own life. Certain cities were designated as "Cities of Refuge," and he could flee to one of those cities and be safe, as long as he stayed in that city. As you can imagine, he could never totally relax and rest his mind until he reached that "place of refuge." If he left, he was vulnerable until he was back inside his city of refuge. It was the responsibility of the city leaders to make sure their city lived up to its name and reputation as a place of refuge. If they were neglectful in that duty, as you can imagine, the man who fled there would never be able to get a good night's sleep, or realize any peace of mind. The perpetual stress would likely shorten his life, even if he was never discovered by the victim's family. Hopefully neither you nor I will ever have to deal with the stress that accompanies the accidental killing of another person, but we face stress every time we walk out our doors. Any time we have to deal with the general public, we become vulnerable to conflict, to being cheated, or even being physically harmed, all at the hands of other people. What we need is a "place of refuge." Here's good news: There is such a place. It's called "Home." Unfortunately, too many of us have become neglectful in making sure our homes live up to that standard. We have allowed the stresses of the outside world to follow us right on inside our very homes, compromising the integrity of our only places of refuge. We allow conflict, even with other members of our families, to infiltrate the only place we can go to feel safe. We bring our work home with us, by way of cell phones and computers, causing our peace of mind to become infested with stress bugs, and just so you'll know, stress bugs and peace of mind cannot coexist. As in the old days when the city leaders had the responsibility of seeing to it that their "City of Refuge" lived up to its name, it is the duty of the leaders of our homes to do the same for our places of refuge. We must re-enforce our boundaries. As leader of my home, I now commit to that pledge. Conflict, you are not welcome within these borders. Stress from work, you can just sleep outside my door at night....I'm sure I'll pick you back up as soon as I step outside in the morning. All you other stress bugs, I have a big can of bug spray, and I'll attack you as soon as you creep in. My home is a "City of Refuge," and it's going to stay that way. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXV

The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon. When you comin' home Dad? I don't know when, But we'll get together then, Son. You know we'll have a good time then. A text from my daughter about three weeks ago sent my mind into a whirl, and I haven't been able to get away from it. She sent it to her mom and me. She was asking if we used to set aside specific times that we designated as "Family Time" when they were small. Angie and I didn't word our responses exactly alike, but our answers were basically the same: No. We didn't do that. We didn't have to. We lived simpler lives. We ate most of our meals at home. We didn't have computers or cell phones, which meant that when we got off work in the evening, we were off. The kids weren't in sports or dance. Family time just happened. Since that text, I've been giving that topic some thought. What has happened? What has changed? Well, I guess we could start with the things I mentioned above that I said we either didn't yet have or just didn't do. There's not a thing wrong with anything I talked about. It's good for kids to play sports. It's fine to eat out sometime. We've reached the point where we can't function in today's world without a cell phone and computer. No, there's nothing wrong with any of it, but we can make it wrong if we don't control it. Actually, I think there's more to it than just computers, cell phones, etc. It's almost like it's cool to be so busy. We feel like if we're not constantly running here and there, we must be from a lower rung of society. Many of you will recall the words from the Veggie Tales song: I'm busy, busy, dreadfully busy. You've no idea what I have to do. Busy, busy, shockingly busy. Much, much too busy for you. When we're busy, we want to make sure everyone knows just how busy we are. I also believe we're living in a society that's much more affluent than it was a generation ago, making it easier for us to get ourselves and our kids involved in things that steal the quality time we could be spending with our families. We fill up our lives doing good things, but we can get too much of a good thing. There's always some well meaning person wanting us to help them with their charitable causes, and we feel guilty if we say no. We can even allow church activities to take away some of the time our families need so desperately. I've often heard it said that if you need help getting things done, ask a busy person....they're more likely to help. But does it help that busy person? Whatever one generation tolerates, the next generation will embrace and take one step further. If we think our lives are busy now, wait till our kids grow up and see what kind of lives they live. Our kids want to be like us, and they will be. "Like father, like son." I started this article with the chorus to a song by Harry Chapin. I will close with the last chorus from that same song. Notice the difference in the wording of the last chorus: The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon. Little boy blue and the man in the moon. When you comin' home Son? I don't know when, But get together then, Dad. You know we'll have a good time then. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXIV

It saddened me when I first read the news of the death of Beau Biden, the son of Vice President Joe Biden. Then I became worried. Whether or not we agree with his politics, we have to admit Joe Biden is a likable guy, yet I feared there would be those who, due to their political differences with our current administration, would begin spouting off, making light of the grief his family is feeling at this time. Thankfully, at the time I'm writing this article, if there has been any of that type of chatter going on, I haven't heard it. Maybe I've lost too much confidence in my fellow man, but with all the nasty comments I've heard and read in the past few years about our brothers and sisters with differing political views, it's easy to understand my fear. I'm longing for the day when civility returns to our political discussions. Isn't it possible for us to debate the issues without stooping to name calling and hateful remarks about those who disagree with us? We're now in the beginning stages of the 2016 Presidential campaigns, which means the parties have hired crews strategically for the purpose of what they call "Opposition Research." That's simply a feel-good title for what would more accurately be called "Character Assassination Research." One side does it just as much as the other. Is this what our founding fathers had in mind? On more than one occasion I have visited The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery, near Washington, DC, and each time there was a significant crowd on hand to watch The Changing of the Guard. One thing struck me as I looked around at all of my fellow Americans viewing the activities: There was no doubt that citizens from both major political parties were represented there, and there was no doubt that every person in attendance was a true American patriot, while we all stood there in reverence as one body. Can't we debate our differences with the same honor and respect we felt for each other at that time? What I believe, I strongly believe, but I've come to the realization that those who disagree with me feel just as strongly about their views as I do about mine. That doesn't mean we have to hate each other. There's a big difference between debating the issues and ripping each other apart. One can only assume that mudslinging begins when an individual feels he is losing the issues debate, the way kids do when they've been proven wrong. I realize much of this is done to play on our emotions, when our decisions should be made on logic....not emotion. I'm all for disagreement, debate, and working to persuade other citizens to see things our way, as long as we stick to the issues at hand and do it in a cordial, civilized manner. It seems to me that I can recall something about one of the two greatest commandments that says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." When we do that, we call each other nice names, even when we disagree. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXIII

"I'm moving to Russia." I came home from school one day when I was in the first grade and made that announcement to my parents. On the school bus that day, some of my friends, other first and second graders, had been talking and one of them told us that Russia was going to bomb the United States, and only the people living in Russia would be spared. My mom and dad did their best to assure me that just wasn't true, but I informed them that had they been on my bus, they would be more in tune with what was about to happen. Over time I came to understand that I should be a little more skeptical of what other kids told me, although I still accepted everything any adult said as the absolute, indisputable gospel. It was not until I grew into adulthood that I began to realize that if I was not careful, even grownups would lead me astray. Now I've reached the point where there are certain people I would trust with my very life, but those who don't fall into that category, I may view their words by borrowing a phrase from President Reagan, "trust but verify." I like to refer to it as a "healthy skepticism." I reached my current frame of mind due to some embarrassing mistakes I made by trusting, then repeating, things I saw on my computer. Angie and I now have a little joke we use around our house: "I know it's true, because I saw it on Facebook." It doesn't matter what side of the political aisle you're on, there are those on your side who apparently just make up stories about the other side. I view such tactics as counterproductive, and the real trouble is, these stories grow with each telling. Unfortunately, this type of creative storytelling is not confined just to politics. One of the events where some of the most outrageous stories were being told and expanded was in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. I don't have enough space to detail all of the outlandish tales being floated around during that time. I confronted one friend about a story she told me, telling her if those stories were true, the news media would've been all over it. When she responded by telling me we can't trust the news any more, I asked her where she got her story. She looked up the source of her information, and she had to admit it was from someone she had never heard of before, yet she was gullible enough to repeat it as truth. Do people sit around and make up these stories just for the fun of it? If I would repeat every story I heard or saw on Facebook, my friends would begin to lose trust in me and would start to disregard anything I might say. My credibility would be gone. It's sad for me to have to say this, but I believe people even do this regarding biblical prophesy, and then others believe it and blast it all over social media. When we hear stories like the mark of the beast has already begun in some countries, when there's absolutely no evidence that it's true, and we then repeat it as fact, we're harming the work of legitimate prophesy teachers. I don't want to be so harsh as to call someone a liar when they fully believe what they're telling me is true. I've been guilty of doing the same thing, but it humiliates me when I realize I've helped spread faulty information. The truth is, we can't take everything we hear, even from well-meaning friends, as gospel. I guess my primary purpose for talking about this topic today is just to remind us to verify the authenticity of any story before we share it with anyone else. A little dose of healthy skepticism is good medicine for us all. Preston Sent from my iPhone

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXII

I'm actually writing this on a Saturday night, kicked back in my recliner, totally exhausted from the day's activities. I spent most of the afternoon cleaning the vinyl siding on our house, a job I put off for way too long, but it looks sooooo much better than it did this morning when I got out of bed. Yes, I'm tired, but I also feel a great sense of accomplishment, mainly from the satisfaction I receive from just knowing I made a difference today. It's a feeling lazy people rarely get to experience, because if a person wants to achieve this feeling, a significant amount of labor is required. I admit, I was glad to get through, but I'll go to bed early tonight, feeling good about myself and about my day. When the time comes for me to draw my last breath, I want to be able to look back with a sense of pride from knowing I made a positive difference in my world, and other people lived happier lives because of me. My wife, Angie, works for a heart surgeon, and if you live in the Monroe/West Monroe area, you've probably seen the "Grateful" billboards around town showing the faces of individuals who are healthy today due to their heart surgery performed by her boss. Yes, on rare occasions he has to face the anguish of seeing those who were just too sick to save, but what an awesome feeling it must be for him to be able to see someone at a restaurant and be able to say, "We saved his life." I have a friend who is a marriage counselor, and I've often thought about how satisfying it must be for him when he sees happy couples who came to him when everything was falling apart, and he was able to help guide them back on the road to happiness. I'm also friends with a couple who went to China several years ago to adopt a little girl, and now when I see that beautiful, bubbly little nine year old, I can't help but think about what a difference her adoptive parents have made in her life, as well as the difference she has made in theirs. My daughter and son in law are in the process of becoming foster parents, and their goal in this endeavor is to change the lives of a few children for the better. I look at my two little grandchildren, one of which is special needs, and I realize they are living happy lives today because both of their parents go out of their way to see that they do. What about our teachers, our first responders, our police men and women, our military, and our pastors? All of us are living better lives today because of all of them. The good thing about it all is, no matter who we are or what our professions may be, we are all equipped to make positive differences in the lives of others. I will admit there are times when I just don't feel like sitting down and writing my weekly article, but so many of you have told me it's making a difference in your lives, and that's what keeps me going. Making a difference is a great feeling, and I don't want to die without experiencing it over and over in my life, but it requires effort. We have to want it bad enough to work at it. Instead of us sitting back and complaining about the bad shape our world is in, why don't we see what we can do to make it better. Making a difference is a lifelong duty from which we can never retire. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXI

It was one of those lightning bolts that's so close you hear the thunder at the same time time you see the flash. Last Thursday afternoon I was driving north on I-35, going through the heart of Austin, Texas, during a blinding rain storm, when it struck, and I must admit, I nearly jumped out of my skin. You would have too. I can say that because there's a very strong chance that you're a normal human being just like I am. Have you ever experienced a near miss of a serious automobile accident? It has happened to me a few times, and it's an event that leaves me weak-kneed. I'll never forget one morning a few years ago, I was walking from a Baton Rouge hotel to a nearby Waffle House, and I was cutting across the parking lot of a pizza place at the same time a young man was walking out the door of the pizza place, which had not yet opened for the day. Suddenly I heard a loud male voice to my left saying, "Hold it right there! Don't move!" I looked just in time to see a man, who turned out to be a plain clothes policeman, as he lifted a pistol with both hands, with his finger on the trigger. He was arresting the young man exiting the pizza place, but when I heard the loud yell and immediately saw the gun, it scared the living daylights out of me. My friend, Claire, and I were running before daylight one morning through a wooded area when a man we didn't know was even in the world rode a bicycle up behind us and made some kind of loud throat-clearing sound no more than five feet away. We both jumped about three feet in the air, and we both made some loud, strange noises ourselves. There's just something about when I have a sudden thought that I may be about to die, it scares me. I believe with all my heart I've taken the necessary steps to insure my soul's salvation, yet it still frightens me when I think I might die in the next few seconds. I wish I could be all calm and collected like the hero John Wayne in those situations, but I'm afraid that's just not the case. I would also like to be able to tell you I always know what to do and what to say in difficult circumstances, but it would not be true. Although it doesn't happen often, I lose my temper at times, and say words I later regret. Sometimes when I'm speaking, my words come out wrong, and what I end up saying makes no sense at all, causing me to feel, and sound, foolish. On occasion, I will ask a stupid question when the answer is right under my nose. I know we're all tempted to do wrong from time to time, but every now and then I give in to that temptation. It's at times like that when I admit to myself, "Maybe I'm just not hero material." In some ways, maybe I AM a little like John Wayne, because I may appear to be calm, while my insides are churning with fear. I wonder if he ever felt like I do. After all, it was he who said, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." Actually, when I take a look at reality (as opposed to movie characters), I realize it's quite possible that maybe I AM a hero to some. I'm thinking of a little nine year old boy and a five year old girl who probably view me as one of their heroes. There's even a chance that someone I don't even suspect might consider me a hero. So....now that I've concluded I might be a hero after all, how am I supposed to act? What are heroes supposed to do? What kind of example am I to set for those who look to me as a hero? Well, I'm not sure, but I have some ideas. Maybe I should let them know it's okay to be scared sometime. (We all look at Captain Sully as a hero, but I assure you, he felt real fear when he put that plane down in the Hudson River.) It would be okay to let them know if perfection was a requirement to be a hero, then heroes would not exist. Perhaps if I happen to mess up and wrong someone, those who view me as a hero could hear me say "I'm sorry" to the person I've wronged. It would probably be a good idea to let them know that even heroes stumble and fall from time to time, but they never let that stop them. They always get back up and charge on. Heroes aren't quitters. I should never forget that, as a hero, I'm constantly being watched, and just knowing that fact should give me an incentive to try to stay on the straight and narrow as much as possible, because those who look to me as a hero want to be like me. It actually feels nice being a hero, but there are some awesome responsibilities that go with it. Think about it. Who thinks you're a hero? Whoever it is, rest assured they're watching every move you make. We can't let them down. They're gonna be someone else's hero some day, and they need to know what heroes are supposed to do. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXX

Two of my favorite places: Lincoln Parish Park, Ruston, LA and Monte Sano Mountain, Huntsville, AL. That's because I love to hike challenging trails. There is one slight little issue I have to deal with when I'm on those trails however, and that's the fact that since I may be just a little clumsy, I have a tendency to trip and fall when I'm traversing tricky terrain. Two weeks ago when I was on one of those trails, although I didn't fall, I tripped at least five times, and the realization hit me as to why it was happening. I also thought it may be worth sharing, and I later got a confirmation on that idea, so here goes: Sometimes there are some extremely steep climbs and descents on those trails. There may be places on the trails where a large limb has fallen across the path. There may be some tricky creek crossings where we have to step from rock to rock to get across. There are areas where large boulders have to be stepped over or maneuvered around. Yes, I encounter some or most of those situations practically every time I hike one of those trails, but the fact is, I rarely get tripped up by any of the things I just mentioned. They're big, they're clearly visible, sometimes even with a little warning sign that alerts us as to what we're about to encounter. Then what is it that makes me stumble? It's little things: A small root just an inch or so high. It's a small rock that's mostly buried in the dirt with only a tiny portion of it sticking out of the ground. It may be a small dip in the trail that's only a couple inches deep. As I was saying, it dawned on me as I was on the trail what the cause of my frequent tripping really was, and as I thought about it, I decided to write on that topic. What I consider to be my confirmation that I was on target with the idea came the next morning at church when my pastor discussed the same topic in his sermon. Think about it. The big issues are clearly visible, and we usually see them coming ahead of time, so we put forth our best efforts to work through them. Then someone says a word that rubs us the wrong way, and we explode. Often we will build something up in our minds and we let our imagination run wild, and the next thing we know, we've turned a molehill into a mountain, or a crawfish mound into a volcano. So many times we'll let careless words by a friend cause more damage to our friendship than some major infraction. I remember a friend from a few years back who, at two different times, had a nice looking young man make a bold attempt at luring her into an adulterous relationship, and both times she resisted the advances, only to fall prey to a family friend who spoke softly and smiled just the right way when he was around her, and the end result was a broken marriage. (Actually two broken marriages, since the man's marriage failed also.) She easily avoided the earlier obvious attempts to lead her astray, yet she allowed the more subtle movements from a good friend to sneak up on her, catching her off guard. Small stones and tiny roots on level ground are more likely to cause me to trip and fall than large boulders and limbs on steep descents, and it's because they "sneak up on me" while I'm on the lookout for the big, obvious pitfalls. However, it would also be wise on my part to realize those tiny obstacles are on every path I walk....not just on the wooded trails. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXIX

The surgeon used his scalpel to cut through the skin, right down the middle of my five week old granddaughter's chest. He then opened her rib cage in order to gain access to her heart. When the heart beats, it pumps blood through a canal to the lungs where it receives oxygen. From there, the blood flows back to the heart where it is pumped through another canal, right beside the first one, throughout the body. The oxygen is then depleted, and the blood returns to the heart to repeat the same process over and over again. My little granddaughter was born with only one of those canals, which caused the blood that had just gone through the lungs to mix with the blood on the way to the lungs. As a result, the blood flowing through her body had only half the oxygen it needed, and that caused her to go into heart failure. During that seven hour procedure, Dr. Mello took some of Lennon's own tissue and created a partition down the middle of that one canal, so the blood would flow properly to the lungs & then to her body. After that he closed the rib cage, and stapled her skin back together. He then relied on nature to do its part. All he had to do was sew the skin back in place, because each one of us was created with a self-healing mechanism, which caused the skin to grow back together. In just a few weeks, he was able to remove the staples, and the skin stayed in place. At that time, she was five weeks old, but today she is five YEARS old, in good health, with only a barely noticeable scar on her chest. When her dad, my son, was just a little younger than she is now, I was taking him for a ride on a motorcycle, and he fell off, breaking his arm. All the doctor had to do for him was set the bone back in place, put a cast on his arm to hold it in the correct position, and let the bone heal itself. Today he is an adult with no ill effects from his broken arm. I'm able to tell you those two stories with the happy endings because of that self-healing mechanism God placed in our bodies when He created us. The stories I told you had to do with our physical bodies, but the self-healing system also works on our mental health as well. Like many of you, I know the pain of losing a loved one, because I've had to deal with losing both of my parents. That was hard enough to handle, but I just wasn't quite prepared for the grief of losing my younger brother in 2010. Some of you know what it's like to lose a spouse, and too many of you have experienced the loss of your own child. Many of you can also testify about the sense of despair and worthlessness that's felt when a person goes through a divorce. It's at such times when an individual feels like all hope is lost, and happiness will never return. I have to tell you, sitting in that waiting room for seven long hours while Lennon was in surgery, praying and wondering how a tiny infant could survive such an ordeal, stretched us to our limits. Yes, if you look closely, you will see a scar, but don't let that fool you....she is in good health. Whatever you're facing may leave a small scar, but don't forget, we have a built-in system that heals our hurts, both physical and emotional. Yes, I still miss my parents and my brother, but the real pain I sensed at that time has healed, and I'm now able to live a happy life. Here's the best part: Just knowing that we'll get better can speed up the healing process. So many times I've stood at the mirror and said, "This, too, shall pass." When I remind myself of that fact, I get well faster. Preston