Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXIV

My mom should've been President. I can think of several reasons why. All she would have had to do was run the country like she ran our home. For one thing, she was a lover of peace, but if anyone tried to mess with her kids, they would soon learn that her peaceful ways had their limits. I don't mean to imply that she was constantly having to do battle on our behalf; it's just that it was understood by everyone around that her children were off limits to those who might be prone to mischief, and she meant it. Another reason my mom should have been President is the way she handled squabbles within the family. It's natural for brothers and sisters to have some strong disagreements when they are children, but when that happened in our house, she made sure we disagreed in an agreeable manner. Fighting and name-calling were strictly forbidden, and we knew it. She was the mother of the entire household, which meant we were all equal in her eyes; therefore she didn't pick a side and work with her favorite child to make the others look bad. Maybe that's because she didn't have a favorite child...she loved us all the same. Laziness was not tolerated in our home. Dad worked hard as the breadwinner and Mom worked equally as hard preparing the bread and placing it on the table, and if we wanted a place at that table, we each had our chores that had to be done. In other words, we all had to work. Mom never forced one child to give up what was rightfully his and give it to one of the other children just to make it fair. She saw no fairness in that, yet at the same time she taught us that if we had a bag of candy, we should voluntarily share with those who had none. In the lean months when Dad brought home less money, she spent less. In the more plentiful months, she would splurge a little. She never spent money she didn't have. Mom could be tough and tender at the same time, and she was not afraid to make unpopular decisions when she knew they were for the ultimate good of the home. She was an awesome mom, and her success was due to the fact that she took on the job with the right motives. The reason she left such a great legacy is because, as far as she was concerned, it was never about her legacy...it was about us. There were four of us kids that she raised from birth and made into successful adults, yet she then gave each one of us the credit for our success. If her job had been an elected position and she would have had to run for re-election, she would have thrown her hat in the ring every time, and every time she would have received 100% of the vote...even with the unpopular decisions she had to make. Yep, Mom would have made a great President, because she would've run the country like she ran our home. I don't think I've ever seen a real President do it that way. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXIII

Bertha knew what she was doing. I did too. She was testing my limits. I was the new store manager in our Lafayette store, so it was natural for the employees to test the new boss to see what my limits were and to see what they could or could not get away with. On this particular morning, she came dressed in clothing that didn't measure up to company policy. I handled it like this, "Bertha, do you go home for lunch?" She replied, "Yes sir, I do." "Could you do me a favor?" "Sure. What do you need?" "I need for you to slip into something more uncomfortable, so when you come back you'll be dressed according to the rules." She stood silent for a moment, then said, "Awe, Mr. Davidson, you're being mean." Me: "I know, but I'm doing it in a nice way, aren't I? Thank you for doing that for me." She complied, and it was never an issue again. The same thing had happened to me at the previous location where I had worked, but I had handled the situation differently. A young lady named Andrea had come to work dressed in an old tee shirt and a ragged pair of jeans, which was expressly against the rules, and she knew it. I had a right to be upset with her, and let me just say I exercised that right...in no uncertain terms. She came to work the next morning and quit her job, which meant that I had to hurry and find a new employee and then train her to do the work that Andrea knew how to do quite proficiently. I had brought unnecessary difficulty to my job due to the unwise manner in which I had dealt with that situation. No two human beings will see every situation the same, and as a result, conflicts are sure to arise, such as the examples I just gave where two employees knowingly and purposely violated their terms of employment. I was within my rights to speak to Andrea the way I did, but it was obviously not the most wise course of action. Bertha was a good employee for the rest of the time I was in that store, but if I had treated her the way I had treated Andrea, that would not have been the case. When we speak harshly to people, they will become angry and defensive even when they know they were in the wrong. Name calling and hurtful words do not produce the best results. I've heard people argue that they used harsh rhetoric to make sure that they adequately expressed their opinion, but what is more important, expressing opinions or achieving positive outcomes? One of my fellow managers told me one time that he enjoyed the feeling of power he felt when he could fire an employee, but he soon learned how it felt to be on the receiving end of that situation when his boss fired him....not the result he was looking for. I don't recall an era in my lifetime when our country has been as deeply divided as it is now, and the rude comments about the opposition that I'm hearing all the way from the President down to the man on the street, from both sides, are only making the situation worse. And just because my opposition says nasty things about me doesn't mean I should reciprocate. How long has it been since we obeyed Matthew 5:44 and "prayed for those who spitefully used us?" On a daily basis we see individuals who have let their morals go to the dogs, but before we decide to let them know just how awful they are, maybe we could pause to remember our own past mistakes and to recall just how badly we needed to know that someone loved us. If I tell someone how bad they are under the guise of having the right to speak my mind, what good have I accomplished? Actually, what I've spent five paragraphs trying to say, Paul said perfectly in one verse, I Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial; Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." Let me put it this way: It's legal for me to eat two dozen donuts every day, but it would also be stupid. So I don't do it. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXII

Having to deal with my own filth is bad enough, but when I come in contact with the filth of others, I find it repulsive. One night last week I was staying in a nice hotel in the New Orleans area, and when I checked in, they told me that they had upgraded me to a suite. It had been a fairly stressful day, and when I noticed the jacuzzi in my room, I said, "Why not." I filled up the tub with hot water and settled in to relax for a while. Everything was great until I turned it on, and when I did, I felt a rush of cold water come coming out of the pipes. Then it hit me. That cold water had been sitting idle in the pipes, and it was water that had been circulating when the last guest used it. From that moment, there was no pleasure in that experience. My job requires that I travel quite a bit, so I end up spending a lot of nights in hotels, and although the beds always have clean sheets, I don't recall ever seeing the housekeepers taking the bedspreads and blankets to be cleaned. The first thing I do when I go into my hotel room is pull the bedspread off my bed, because who knows what all has transpired on it since the last time it was cleaned. Gag. I will tell you, however, that in order to maintain what little bit of sanity I have left, I've reached a point where I'm still cautious, but I refuse to become a "germ-a-phobic." Let's take a look at reality. How clean is the money we handle every day? How often do we shake someone's hand when we have no idea where that hand has been since it was last washed? How clean are the door knobs and handrails we handle every day? Has your shoe lace ever touched the floor in a public restroom? Have you ever swam in a public pool that's used by large numbers of people? What are the standards of cleanliness used in the kitchens of the restaurants we patronize on a regular basis? On more than one occasion I've actually witnessed individuals licking the excess off of the tops of ketchup bottles in restaurants. I've seen restaurant employees exit stalls in the restroom and head straight back to the kitchen without washing their hands. Maybe there was a sink they used in the kitchen, but, for my sake, they should've washed their hands before leaving the restroom. Those are things I've seen. I wonder what all has happened that I did not see. My point is, we often take precautions in some areas while not even noticing other areas that are equally unsanitary. There's no way to avoid coming in contact with all sorts of germs every day, no matter how hard we think we're trying. Like I said earlier, I'm cautious, but I'm enough of a realist to understand that the hand I'm shaking may have just emerged from a Port-a-John where there's no place to wash your hands. Thank God for hand sanitizer, which I use regularly, but I'm even more thankful that God designed our bodies to build resistance to filth. That removes some of the worry. If it didn't, I'd go crazy. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCXLI

Some of you will know first hand what I'm talking about, but so far, up to this point in my life, I've never had to experience it. As a matter of fact, I had never given it much thought until my mom discussed it with me one day. What I'm talking about is one simple word...loneliness. No doubt many of you could write on this topic much better than I due to your personal experiences. It is most common among the elderly, although many younger people who suddenly find themselves living alone have to deal with it as well. I read a story about an old lady who called the police to report that something had been stolen from her home. When the police arrived, they became a little suspicious when she had a hard time describing the stolen items, but before they left, she asked them to please stay and try some of her freshly baked cookies. Their suspicion grew as her calls became more frequent, and finally they got her to admit that she was calling them because she was lonely. After that, some of the police force would stop by to check on her from time to time. When Mom was still living, I, as well as all my siblings, would check on her on a regular basis, but with the busy lives we all live, we didn't talk to her every day. Sometimes I look back with regret that I didn't call her every morning, but to be honest, I just naturally assumed that she had her friends all around her who would spend time with her and keep her busy. And yes, her friends did keep close tabs on her, but they all also had their own issues of life that had to be tended to, so their contact with her was much like mine. Then one day, sitting on her front porch, we talked about it. She told me about some aspects of loneliness that I had never thought about. For example, have you ever thought about how it would feel to go for a couple days without having the occasion to use your voice? Lonely people experience that all the time. Sure, there's always a phone sitting there just waiting to be used, but most people want to make sure they're not too much of a bother to other people, and besides that, have you ever given any thought to how important it is for us to actually touch other people? It is vital for each one of us to make the phrase "staying in touch" become literal in our lives. How do you greet your good friends and family members that you haven't seen in a while? For most of us, there will be hugs, pats on the back, or handshakes...and in some cases all three. When an individual goes for days without physically touching another human, they start to crave that contact. And while we're on that topic, as important as it is to touch someone else, it is equally important to be touched by others. There's just something about a touch that says, "You're someone I care about." Unless we're just completely self-centered people, each of us would like to make a positive difference in someone else's life, and I can think of no better way to accomplish it than to befriend someone who is lonely. Naturally, I'm not talking about doing it to see what we can get out of it, but I've learned that when I maintain a true "it's not about me" attitude, I'm the one who benefits the most. Preston