Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXXIX

This was a different kind of scream. Even as a small child, I could tell the difference between the sound that another child could make when he didn't get his way or was "pitching a fit" (the kind of tantrum that would get us into trouble) or the sound that came from a mixture of pain and sheer terror. What I heard that day was the latter. I was inside the house and the scream came from outside. In a heartbeat, my mother had run out of the door in a panic to see what had happened, and I'll never forget the chills that ran over my body as I heard my little brother, Roland, screaming "A snake bit me!!" Fortunately, my uncle just happened to be at our house and he removed his shoe lace and tied it around Roland's ankle before they hurriedly gathered the rest of us kids into the car and we raced to the hospital. After about a day and a half in the hospital, Roland was released to recuperate at home.

That childhood memory of my little brother is just one of scores that have been flooding my mind the last couple days. Like the time when our family went with the Fauss Family on a camping trip in the Colorado Rockies, and one night we were all sitting around the campfire listening to the conversation that the adults were having. When someone mentioned that there were bears in the area, Roland, who was about seven at the time, was sitting there wearing a long-billed baseball cap and he said, "I'm ready to go home." The only time I ever got into a fight on the school bus was because another kid was beating up on Roland. I could sit here and make a book out of all those childhood memories of my brother, but as time passes, children become adults, and the memories continue.

After Roland had married and moved to the hills of Northeast Alabama, he continued to make frequent trips to his beloved Louisiana. It really became a joke as one of us siblings would ask him, "What time are you leaving in the morning?" We would hear the same answer every time: "Four o'clock." Any time he would take a trip, no matter where he was going, his standard time of departure was four o'clock. I've always considered myself to be punctual, but Roland would put me to shame in that area. When he said he was leaving at four o'clock, that didn't mean 4:05...it meant four o'clock, and if you were going with him, you'd better be ready at four o'clock.

I feel like there's a big part of me that's missing now that he's gone, and I can't imagine what life is going to be like without him. The big family get-together at his house on July 4th has become a tradition. Those random calls from him on my cell phone at practically any time of the day or night would give my spirits a big boost. Sitting on his front porch talking about old times was something I could do for hours. But those days are gone now, because this past Tuesday morning, July 27, 2010, Roland made that last trip....at four o'clock.

So....to Roland, my little brother....there's just one more thing that I want to tell you that I didn't say nearly enough: I love you. I'm gonna miss you more than you'll ever know.

Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXXVIII

If the plane I'm on goes down, I will do everything I can to save my baby, even if it means that I have to lose my life in the process. I don't think any parent or grandparent reading this would feel otherwise. As a matter of fact, if I have my kids on the flight with me, I will more than likely be much more attentive as the flight attendant goes through her little demonstration of what to do in case of an emergency, but as I listen to her presentation, I am going to hear some instructions that I think would go against the natural tendency of any parent. She will be saying something like, "In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop down from over your head. If you are traveling with a small child, you should put your mask on first, and then put the mask on the child." Now I will admit here that the video that they show on some planes is a little bit ridiculous when you see a calm, smiling mother putting on her mask, and then putting the mask on a calm, smiling child. In a real life situation, I cannot imagine calmness being on display anywhere on that entire plane. But I can also visualize many parents making sure their kids are wearing their masks before they even attempt to put theirs on. It's that natural parental instinct that we all have of protecting the lives of our kids before even considering our own safety. They give us those instructions for a reason, and when you stop to think about it, wouldn't your child have a much better chance of survival if you are here to take care of him?

For one thing, I think the child would be more willing to wear a mask if they saw Mom or Dad wearing one. A child may hear what you tell him to do, but he will be much more likely to do what he sees you doing than what he hears you saying. Sometimes we place ourselves into the "teach mode" as we give instructions to our children on how they should live their lives, but whether we realize it or not, we are teaching all the time, even when the "teach mode" is turned off. If I want my kids to refrain from using tobacco and alcohol, just telling them will not get the job done...I must also show them. If I want my kids to go to church, I can't send them...I have to go with them. If I want my son to love and respect his wife, he has to see me doing the same thing. If a child grows up in an environment where there is constant fighting and bickering, there are overwhelming odds that his household will be the same when he becomes an adult.

If I ever find myself in the unfortunate situation that it's either my life or the life of my child, I will, without hesitation, sacrifice my own. However, I must never forget that my child's chances are much better when I'm there with him, so please don't be critical of me when you see me obeying the instructions and putting my mask on first. If I want my child to be saved, I must first save myself.

Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXXVII

I've gotta tell you what happened in Vegas! Okay, I know that "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," so I won't tell everything, but this happened so long ago and it's not "that kind" of information anyway. It's a lesson I learned the hard way. Usually when people go to Las Vegas, they are going primarily to feed the slot machines, but that's not the type of gambler that I am. I spent a considerable amount of money for airline fares, hotels, and food to go work a trade show, betting that I would write enough business while I was out there that I would receive a healthy return on my investment. But it was not to be. I ended up just like the majority of the "conventional" gamblers who go to Las Vegas...I went out there with my pockets full and returned empty-handed. However, this story has a happy ending because on that particular trip, I figured out where I had erred and also how to correct it. It was an expensive lesson, but it was one that I never forgot, and the knowledge that I acquired on that trip has been invaluable since then.

Without going into too much boring detail, let me just tell you that I went there without a well thought out plan of action, and I allowed myself to become too easily distracted from my real focus. So I fell on my face. Have you ever known someone who has big plans and big ideas until they feel a breeze blowing from another direction, and then they just discard all their previous plans and turn in the direction of the wind? That's what I was allowing to happen to me, until I realized the error of my ways and made up my mind that from now on, I'm following the way I know is right regardless of which way the wind starts blowing. I've decided that if I'm the hound chasing a deer, I'm gonna stay on that deer's trail regardless of how many rabbits run across my path. I WILL STAY FOCUSED!

I wish I had kept track of how many times I've had people come to me and say, "I've got some big plans and I want you to be a part of those plans." But if I turn aside and start chasing that rabbit, there will be another rabbit that will run across my path and distract me from that goal; and before I know it, the deer that I was chasing has gotten away for good. And it has nothing to do with how hard I work. On that trip to Vegas, I worked hard every day I was there, and at night I was exhausted from my days' labors, but I had accomplished nothing...all because I didn't stay focused on my primary objective. I learned one of my most important life lessons on that trip: Just because a person is not getting anything done, it doesn't necessarily mean that person is lazy. If he works hard without working smart, the results may be the same as if he hadn't worked at all.

If I'm going to make a success of my life, I must stay focused on what I know without a doubt is the right way, and not allow myself to be swayed by either the violent storms or the gentle breezes. I'm reminded of a song that we used to sing when I was little called "I Shall Not Be Moved." I like the last line that says, "Just like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved." The hound that chases every rabbit that crosses his path will catch neither the rabbit nor the deer.

Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXXVI

I can remember that the crowd was much larger than what I had been expecting, but I can't recall that much about who all was in that crowd, except for the fact that it was made up of mostly young people in their mid to late teens with a few adults scattered around. I can't even tell you where I was, although it was a large complex that held a fairly good size audience. I guess the strangest part about this entire dream is that most of it is so foggy in my mind, yet I can remember in vivid detail much of what I said as I spoke that evening. There have been times when I've dreamed that I was singing songs that I had written, but when I awoke the next morning I couldn't sing even one line of any of them. That's why I find it so unusual that I can remember much of the speech that I made in that dream last night. Now before I go any farther, let me say that I'm not the type of person that likes to hear every little detail of someone else's dream, so I'm reluctant to tell you about mine. It's just that I like what I had to say in this particular dream. I can also remember that I was very passionate about what I said to that young audience.

Here it is: "Wow! Where did you all come from? I wasn't expecting nearly this many people, but I must also say that I'm glad you're here. Believe me, I've been where you are, and I know what you're probably thinking right about now...you're dreading this part of the evening because you're about to have to sit through a long, boring speech. Well, let me put your mind at ease. Just look at me. I have no podium, and the only thing I have in my hand is a microphone. No notes. So trust me...this won't take long. Like I just told you, I've been where you are, and I can still remember a promise I made to myself those many years ago. Yes, I was talking to myself, and here's what I said: 'I will not allow myself to become just a common, average, run-of-the-mill kind of guy. I refuse to be ordinary!' When I made myself that promise, I didn't mean that I wanted to be odd or weird...I meant that I wanted to be more than average...above the ordinary. However much time the average kid spent studying, I was gonna study just a little bit longer. No matter how hard the average guy worked, I would work just a little bit harder. I was well aware that I could get by without putting forth that extra effort, and I also knew that our government would not let anyone starve. But I had also figured out that if I decided to just live off the system, I would never amount to much of anything. After growing up in a home where my parents always made sure I had a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and an education in my brain, I found it difficult to face the fact that if I was going to make a success of my life, I was going to have to do it all on my own. That was something Mom and Dad could not do for me. Whatever you may think about Sarah Palin (I happen to admire the lady), you should take note of a post she placed on her facebook page just last night. She was telling about a time last year when it was time for the salmon to be headed up stream in the Alaska rivers, so she went with her family to watch as the brown bears headed to the river to rake in their harvest. She said that one thing that really stood out to her was how the mother bears would catch fish for themselves and their cubs, but if any of the other grizzlies in the area wanted to eat, they had to catch their own fish. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are all just like those bears. If there's gold buried in your back yard, and you decide to sit and wait until someone brings you a shovel so you can dig, you may be waiting a very long time. I hope you understand the point I'm trying to make. I'm smart enough to know that not all of you will heed what I have to say this evening, so I'm mainly directing my words to those of you who will get the message. There are some words of wisdom that I've heard all my life that say, 'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.' Right now some of you are probably making the same promise to yourselves that I made to myself those many years ago, but don't ever forget that it takes more than just a promise...it must be a promise fulfilled. And that takes action. Now go do it! Thank you!"

Those words may not be verbatim to the way they were in my dream, but that's the basic speech I gave. I'm not sure what qualified me to make that kind of speech, but I wouldn't have minded hearing something like that when I was a teenager.

Okay, I promise that next week I won't be going into detail about one of my dreams. I just felt like that one was one I wanted to share.

Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXXV

Are we ready for a female president? Actually, I feel quite confident in saying, "Yes, we are." I think I could ask that question, and the majority of the population of our country, regardless of party affiliation, would agree. Would you feel equally as comfortable with a female doctor as you would a male? Once again, I believe most people would have a positive answer to that question as well. It hasn't always been that way, you know. Just in my lifetime there has been a one eighty shift of opinion in that regard.

I can remember when practically all of the professional positions were held by men, and that included doctors, attorneys, sales people, airline pilots, politicians, etc., but what I don't understand is how we ever got to the frame of mind that women couldn't handle those types of positions as well as men. As late as the early 1970's when I first went to work for a department store chain, even the sales representatives that were calling on us with products such as women's underwear or cosmetics were male. Was it that women didn't apply for those jobs as often; or did the companies feel that men were more knowledgeable about those intimate female products; or maybe that although women may know more about them, they felt that men were just better salesmen? I've also thought about the possibility that it may have been, in part, a confidence issue with the general public. I feel quite certain that even today that when some people step on an airplane and notice that one of the pilots is a woman, there is probably a sense of uneasiness that will come over them. Another area where public confidence may have been an issue is in the medical profession, although I feel those attitudes are rapidly changing. In the past, and even to some extent today, it was okay, and even expected, for a nurse to be female, but people wanted their surgeon to be a man.

What people didn't realize back in those days was that there was a lot of good talent that was going to waste. There's no denying that men and women are different. We have different ways at looking at the same situations...that's just a part of our natural physical makeup, but I've never seen any type of study that indicated that one sex has more brain power than the other. Here's my attitude: If I'm having surgery, I want the best doctor; if I'm flying, I want the best pilot; if I'm looking to buy a new product, I want the person who is most knowledgeable about that product; whether or not that person is male, female, black, white, Hispanic, or Asian is not an issue.

If you're the type of person who still believes that men are superior in the professional world, I can give you a prescription that I think will help you to have a change of heart. All you need is an intelligent daughter who has a lot of potential. That will give you a whole new attitude.

Preston