This is a story about a man who was in need of some "me" time, where he could get away from everything and everybody and just spend some time alone with his thoughts. I was listening to my Sirius radio in my car when I heard him telling about his experience, but I can't remember his name, so I guess, for now at least, he will have to remain anonymous. He said things had not been going his way, and he just needed some solitude where he could gather his thoughts and maybe have some one on one communication with God, and apparently, he got his wish. He drove out to the base of the mountain, parked his car, and found a place where he could lay back and observe the beauty of God's creation. It was a gorgeous day...you know the kind of day I'm talking about...the temperature was perfect, there were a few big white fluffy clouds floating around in the sky, topped off with a soft, pleasant southerly breeze. He said as he lay there, just soaking up all the magnificence of his surroundings, he spotted a large eagle with its wings spread as it lazily glided around in the autumn sky, adding that final touch of perfection to an already flawless day. He felt that if there was ever an ideal time to hear from God, this would be it. He was about to hear from God alright, but what he didn't realize was that in order for him to receive the message that God had for him, those perfect conditions he was experiencing would have to be altered.
The change was sudden. One minute he was enjoying the soft breeze whispering in from the south, and the next minute it shifted, adopting a new identity as a hard, steady north wind. With the shift of the wind, his attitude made a similar adjustment, and he then realized that he was apparently not alone in his frustration as he heard what he described as angry squawks from the eagle overhead. Or maybe it was God speaking through the voice of the eagle, directing his attention toward the sky so that he could witness a demonstration that would provide for him the message that he had come to receive. He thought about how if the shifting wind had had such a dramatic effect on him on the ground, how much more of an impact it must be having on that eagle above his head; but it was the eagle's next move that drove home the point that he so desperately needed. Instead of ducking for cover, that giant bird simply adjusted his wings and turned to face the raging wind, causing it to begin to gain altitude. He said that although he was becoming uncomfortably cold with the new chill factor that was now in effect, he just couldn't take his eyes off of that eagle as it soared higher and higher into the heavens. Soon it was nothing more than a tiny speck in the sky. Message received. He then walked back to his car with a brand new attitude and a brand new determination: "I will turn and face that which has come against me and use it to lift me higher and higher."
As we welcome the dawning hours of 2011, I've decided that instead of making a page full of resolutions that are unlikely to be kept, I'm going to make just one big one and do my dead level best to see it to fruition. If you would like to know what it is, just go back and reread the last sentence in the previous paragraph. In fact, I'm going to state it one more time, if for no other reason, to re-enforce it in my own mind: "I will turn and face that which has come against me and use it to lift me higher and higher." If you stop and think about some of the greatest names in the history of our nation, and determine what it was that made each one of them great, you will find that in each situation, the one thing that made each one of those men and women become models of our inspiration, it is how they reacted to adversity. That's easy for us to say, but ladies and gentlemen, the problems those heroes faced were real and obviously weighed heavy on each of their minds. It's impossible for me to reach my full potential without facing head on and overcoming difficult situations in my life. I've never heard of a book called "Great Wimps of American History." I must admit that I detest adversity with all of my heart, but if that's what it takes to make me become the man that I need to be, then I'll turn and look it straight in the eye and say, "Bring it on."
Happy New Year!
Preston
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCL
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I hate feeling guilty. I hate it so much that I've been searching for ways to avoid it. Feelings of guilt cause me to feel uncomfortable, so I've decided to do everything I can to keep from having those feelings, and I've made some interesting discoveries in the process. For example, do you know what causes a person to feel guilty? It's guilt. Usually, a person will FEEL guilty because he IS guilty. I've come up with two ways of avoiding feelings of guilt, and that's what I want to discuss with you now. As an example, we'll pretend that we're having these feelings because we see someone who is hurting and in desperate need of assistance from someone, and we feel bad because we know we should be doing something, but, for whatever reason, we're not doing it...hence, feelings of guilt.
Sometimes guilty people LOOK guilty. Barney Fife could always tell if someone was guilty by their eyes. Either they had "beady" eyes, or they had "shifty" eyes. Defense attorneys have figured that out as well, so when they bring their client into court, they will give him a good shave and haircut, and put him in a really nice fitting suit and tie so that it will make him appear to be an exemplary citizen. But judges are aware of this also, and they are trained to look beyond appearance and social status and only focus on the letter of the law and how it applies when weighed against the facts of the case. Therefore, he or she can pronounce judgment and go home that night with the satisfaction of a job well done, knowing that justice was served based on solid facts, and the ones on trial were getting their just reward. With that in mind, I can now relay to you the first way to avoid feeling guilty when we don't help someone who is in need.
Point 1 on how to avoid feeling guilty for not helping a person in need: Become that person's judge. All you have to do is look at a person who is struggling and then look back at his life, making note of all the mistakes he has made in the past. You'll be amazed at how easy it is to justify your lack of action when you can make the determination that he is getting exactly what he deserves. I can even give you some lines to use as you pronounce his sentence: How about this one? "Well, he had it coming. It serves him right." Here's a good one: "He made his bed, now he can lie in it." The best one is: "Well, now maybe he'll think twice before he pulls that kind of stunt again." I promise you that if you try this method, it will definitely help you wash those guilty feelings right on down the drain. However, there is one little side effect you may want to consider if you use this method. If you try this on someone, then someone else will do the same thing to you. "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive." (Matthew 7:1-2 New English Translation) It seems like I also saw something in there that says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Hmmmm....maybe we should take a look at point two.
Point 2 on how to avoid feeling guilty for not helping a person in need: Help that person. Even if you know his past and everything he's done to bring on the suffering he is facing, if you will stop and consider your own transgressions, it will be easier to overlook his. That way, his past actions will not become a part of the equation. One of my good friends once told me a story about how he had to forgive someone for one of the most inexcusable acts you can imagine. I hope to get him to write his story for all of us one day and I'll post it on this blog, but for now, just take my word, if he could forgive in his situation, none of the rest of us have any excuses.
I wouldn't be qualified to write about this if I hadn't tested both ways, but I will admit, I've tried points one and two, and I'm now ready to make my recommendation. I found that the consequences for using Point one were a little bit more than what I'm willing to accept; yet I do have to mention that there is also a side effect for using Point two. The feeling of satisfaction you will experience for knowing that you have made a positive difference in someone's life will give you a high that no drug could ever match, and it has the potential to start your life down a whole new path where you've never been before. I think the choice is obvious.
That's my Christmas sermon.
Merry Christmas!
Preston
I hate feeling guilty. I hate it so much that I've been searching for ways to avoid it. Feelings of guilt cause me to feel uncomfortable, so I've decided to do everything I can to keep from having those feelings, and I've made some interesting discoveries in the process. For example, do you know what causes a person to feel guilty? It's guilt. Usually, a person will FEEL guilty because he IS guilty. I've come up with two ways of avoiding feelings of guilt, and that's what I want to discuss with you now. As an example, we'll pretend that we're having these feelings because we see someone who is hurting and in desperate need of assistance from someone, and we feel bad because we know we should be doing something, but, for whatever reason, we're not doing it...hence, feelings of guilt.
Sometimes guilty people LOOK guilty. Barney Fife could always tell if someone was guilty by their eyes. Either they had "beady" eyes, or they had "shifty" eyes. Defense attorneys have figured that out as well, so when they bring their client into court, they will give him a good shave and haircut, and put him in a really nice fitting suit and tie so that it will make him appear to be an exemplary citizen. But judges are aware of this also, and they are trained to look beyond appearance and social status and only focus on the letter of the law and how it applies when weighed against the facts of the case. Therefore, he or she can pronounce judgment and go home that night with the satisfaction of a job well done, knowing that justice was served based on solid facts, and the ones on trial were getting their just reward. With that in mind, I can now relay to you the first way to avoid feeling guilty when we don't help someone who is in need.
Point 1 on how to avoid feeling guilty for not helping a person in need: Become that person's judge. All you have to do is look at a person who is struggling and then look back at his life, making note of all the mistakes he has made in the past. You'll be amazed at how easy it is to justify your lack of action when you can make the determination that he is getting exactly what he deserves. I can even give you some lines to use as you pronounce his sentence: How about this one? "Well, he had it coming. It serves him right." Here's a good one: "He made his bed, now he can lie in it." The best one is: "Well, now maybe he'll think twice before he pulls that kind of stunt again." I promise you that if you try this method, it will definitely help you wash those guilty feelings right on down the drain. However, there is one little side effect you may want to consider if you use this method. If you try this on someone, then someone else will do the same thing to you. "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For by the standard you judge you will be judged, and the measure you use will be the measure you receive." (Matthew 7:1-2 New English Translation) It seems like I also saw something in there that says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Hmmmm....maybe we should take a look at point two.
Point 2 on how to avoid feeling guilty for not helping a person in need: Help that person. Even if you know his past and everything he's done to bring on the suffering he is facing, if you will stop and consider your own transgressions, it will be easier to overlook his. That way, his past actions will not become a part of the equation. One of my good friends once told me a story about how he had to forgive someone for one of the most inexcusable acts you can imagine. I hope to get him to write his story for all of us one day and I'll post it on this blog, but for now, just take my word, if he could forgive in his situation, none of the rest of us have any excuses.
I wouldn't be qualified to write about this if I hadn't tested both ways, but I will admit, I've tried points one and two, and I'm now ready to make my recommendation. I found that the consequences for using Point one were a little bit more than what I'm willing to accept; yet I do have to mention that there is also a side effect for using Point two. The feeling of satisfaction you will experience for knowing that you have made a positive difference in someone's life will give you a high that no drug could ever match, and it has the potential to start your life down a whole new path where you've never been before. I think the choice is obvious.
That's my Christmas sermon.
Merry Christmas!
Preston
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXLIX
Whenever I say what I have to tell you today, regardless of what it is, I'll be exercising one of the liberties that our nation provides and that everyone on earth deserves...the freedom of speech. It is my right to express my opinion, and I do it often. I'm sure you do the same. If I don't like the way you fix your hair, although it may be unwise for me say it, I have a legal right to let the whole world know how I feel. There's just something about letting other people know how we feel about whatever is on our minds that gives us a feeling of satisfaction...like we've released a pressure valve that allows us to blow off some steam.
Now I'm not an argumentive type of person, so if you express your opinion to me, and I disagree with you, chances are I'll exercise the right that I have to remain silent. (That's a right we don't take advantage of often enough.) So if it's an argument you're looking for, you should probably express your opinion to someone else. That leads me to this question: What is our real purpose for letting our views be known? Are we looking for someone to agree with us so it will give us a confirmation that our opinions are not ours alone? Are we trying to convince others that our way is correct and if they have a different opinion, they need to change it so that it will be more in line with our view? Here's the truth of the matter: I really want to express my opinion more than I want to hear yours. I'm not saying that I have no interest in what you have to say; in fact, the exact opposite is true. I do want to know how you feel, and obviously, you also want to know how I feel, or you wouldn't be reading this article. However, what I really want to know, far more than anything else, is the truth. I've often heard it said that there are three ways to do everything--your way, my way, and the right way. None of our opinions are worth a hill of beans if they don't line up with the truth.
The two topics where people in general are the most vocal with their views and where they can usually get other people stirred up the quickest are politics and religion. In politics, we normally have opposite opinions between the liberals and conservatives, or the Democrats and Republicans. I know that neither side is right 100% of the time, and I also know that people on both sides are very passionate about their views, but somewhere in there is a way that's best, and that's what I'm looking for. One thing I've learned, however, is that I'll never know which way is right unless I approach the subject with an open mind. I'm afraid that all too often, we form our views, and then go searching for facts to back them up. That's even true on the topic of religion. I'm convinced that sometimes we form our beliefs and then go to the Bible to find scriptures to help us prove our point, and, believe it or not, it's not that hard to do if we take isolated scriptures out of context and interpret them to match up with our pre-conceived notions. What we should do is go to the Bible first and study it with a completely open mind, reading each verse within its context and accepting the intent of the writer when he penned those words. I was still a fairly young man when my dad passed away, and one day, not long after that, I was thinking about him as I was alone in my vehicle, and it dawned on me that I believed the way I did because he and my mom had brought me up that way. I said to myself out loud, "That's not good enough." I do believe that my parents raised me right, but it was something I had to find out for myself. I had to base my beliefs on truth and not on my heritage. My entire attitude changed at that moment.
Have you ever stopped to think about truth? Truth is pure. There are no imperfections found in truth. Truth doesn't have degrees. A statement is either true, or it's false. It's incorrect to say that something is 98% true, because a statement that is 98% true is 100% false. So, feel free to express your opinions to me, and I'll listen to them, if you'll listen to mine. Please understand, however, that my ultimate quest is not for anyone's opinion, just truth. Because, you see, one thing that I've learned in this search for what is real and pure is that my freedom comes from knowing the truth. Therefore, the absence of truth equals the absence of freedom. Nothing else matters.
Preston
Now I'm not an argumentive type of person, so if you express your opinion to me, and I disagree with you, chances are I'll exercise the right that I have to remain silent. (That's a right we don't take advantage of often enough.) So if it's an argument you're looking for, you should probably express your opinion to someone else. That leads me to this question: What is our real purpose for letting our views be known? Are we looking for someone to agree with us so it will give us a confirmation that our opinions are not ours alone? Are we trying to convince others that our way is correct and if they have a different opinion, they need to change it so that it will be more in line with our view? Here's the truth of the matter: I really want to express my opinion more than I want to hear yours. I'm not saying that I have no interest in what you have to say; in fact, the exact opposite is true. I do want to know how you feel, and obviously, you also want to know how I feel, or you wouldn't be reading this article. However, what I really want to know, far more than anything else, is the truth. I've often heard it said that there are three ways to do everything--your way, my way, and the right way. None of our opinions are worth a hill of beans if they don't line up with the truth.
The two topics where people in general are the most vocal with their views and where they can usually get other people stirred up the quickest are politics and religion. In politics, we normally have opposite opinions between the liberals and conservatives, or the Democrats and Republicans. I know that neither side is right 100% of the time, and I also know that people on both sides are very passionate about their views, but somewhere in there is a way that's best, and that's what I'm looking for. One thing I've learned, however, is that I'll never know which way is right unless I approach the subject with an open mind. I'm afraid that all too often, we form our views, and then go searching for facts to back them up. That's even true on the topic of religion. I'm convinced that sometimes we form our beliefs and then go to the Bible to find scriptures to help us prove our point, and, believe it or not, it's not that hard to do if we take isolated scriptures out of context and interpret them to match up with our pre-conceived notions. What we should do is go to the Bible first and study it with a completely open mind, reading each verse within its context and accepting the intent of the writer when he penned those words. I was still a fairly young man when my dad passed away, and one day, not long after that, I was thinking about him as I was alone in my vehicle, and it dawned on me that I believed the way I did because he and my mom had brought me up that way. I said to myself out loud, "That's not good enough." I do believe that my parents raised me right, but it was something I had to find out for myself. I had to base my beliefs on truth and not on my heritage. My entire attitude changed at that moment.
Have you ever stopped to think about truth? Truth is pure. There are no imperfections found in truth. Truth doesn't have degrees. A statement is either true, or it's false. It's incorrect to say that something is 98% true, because a statement that is 98% true is 100% false. So, feel free to express your opinions to me, and I'll listen to them, if you'll listen to mine. Please understand, however, that my ultimate quest is not for anyone's opinion, just truth. Because, you see, one thing that I've learned in this search for what is real and pure is that my freedom comes from knowing the truth. Therefore, the absence of truth equals the absence of freedom. Nothing else matters.
Preston
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXLVIII
I remember being called a monkey. It's a faint memory, but I can recall my dad calling me a little monkey due to some hi-jinx I had played on them many years ago when I was a small child. So.....I guess that proves evolution is real, huh? Yes, I am serious. If I was a monkey then and I'm not now, that means that some kind of change has taken place over the past few decades. Now I know that you are probably wondering if I have ever considered the possibility that maybe my dad might have been joking when he called me a monkey. No, I've never wondered about that at all, because I know without a doubt that he was joking. He joked like that a lot, but it doesn't disprove my theory of evolution.
What is evolution anyway? I'll give you my definition. Evolution: Slow, gradual changes or adaptations that take place over long periods of time. The root word is "evolve." I use that term quite a bit when people ask me about my livelihood and how I got started doing what I do. You see, I'm an independent sales agent, specializing in licensed products with collegiate logos. I began this business in 1986, but when I first started, I had no collegiate products whatsoever, and now, that's almost all I do. The change didn't take place overnight, but over the course of a couple of decades, my business slowly "evolved" into what it is today.
So now let me get back to being called a monkey by my dad. He called me a monkey because I had been acting like one. That was at least a half-century ago, and I don't recall ever being called a monkey since that time. Now I don't deny that I was acting like a monkey back then, and although, technically, I'm still the same person I was then, in a lot of ways, I'm a totally different individual. My basic personality, which I inherited from my dad, has pretty much stayed the same as it's always been, although certain aspects of it have "evolved" down through the years. My self confidence, for example, which, on a scale of one to ten, would barely have registered back then; and now it has climbed to a level of somewhere close to a five. The things that made me laugh in those days may barely get a chuckle out of me today. Another bit of evolution that has taken place has to do with my level of vulneralability. When I was a child, I would take anything that practically any adult said as the absolute gospel. As gullible as I was then, that's how skeptical I am now. When someone tells me something, they need to be able to back up what they say. (I'll be talking in depth about that subject next week.) Here's another change that has taken place: Up until just a few years ago, when it was mealtime at one our big family get-togethers, I felt like I needed to gorge myself until I was absolutely miserable; now I've learned that one plate of food is all I need, and I can have just as good a time and feel better about myself in the process. I've also seen an evolution in the way I feel about celebrities such as singers & musicians, actors, or athletes. It used to thrill me to see or meet anyone famous, but I now view them as regular people, and I'm definitely not influenced by their political opinions, regardless of how good an actor they are. I'm much more even tempered today than I was a few years ago, yet I am less likely now to tolerate sub-standard service from any type of business. Yes, I'm a changed man.
If I were to list all the ways I've evolved down through the years, it would take way too much space and time, and you wouldn't want to read it all anyway, but I think you get the message. In fact, you can probably identify with much of what I'm saying. So, does evolution mean the same thing as maturity? In this case, it probably does.
Preston
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCXLVII
I was laughing so hard that my side was hurting, I had tears in my eyes, and I was having some mildly violent coughing spells...all brought about by my laughter. I was on one of my many business trips to Las Vegas, and someone had given me some tickets to a Jay Leno performance while I was there, and it was during his show that I was getting so tickled. But it wasn't just me. It was a sell-out crowd, and everyone in the building was reacting the same way I was. For an hour and forty-five minutes, he stood up there and told joke after joke, and the response he was getting was overwhelming. After it was over and I was back in my hotel room, I started thinking about the evening, and I began wondering what it would have been like if I had been the only one to show up at his performance. What if it was just me sitting there on the front row of the auditorium, and he put on the exact same show? Would I have laughed as much and as hard as I did when the place was packed? I don't think so. What if I was alone in my hotel room and I watched him put on the same show on television? I would have enjoyed it, and I may have even chuckled a few times, but there's something about being a part of the crowd that makes us open up our emotions a little more.
Here's something else I've noticed: I've been sitting in church when the preacher says something funny and everyone in the building will laugh at what he says, but we don't just laugh...we look around at each other while we're laughing. Have you ever noticed that? Why do we do that? I'm sure there have been numerous studies on that subject, so maybe I should look into it and find out. I'm not sure why we do it, I just know that we do. Do we become more emotional when we're with other people?
Let me give you another example from the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I was in a hotel room in Texarkana, Arkansas when my cell phone rang shortly after four in the morning. It was my brother, Stan, and he was calling to tell me that our brother, Roland, had just passed away. I was devastated. I got up and showered, ate a quick bite of breakfast, and headed home. Sometime in mid-afternoon, I sat down at my computer and began writing a "Thinking Out Loud" blog about him. Up to that point, I had spent the entire day alone, and although my heart was crushed, I had not yet shed a single tear. I was sitting at the computer, staring at the screen, almost done with my writing, when Angie arrived home from work. When she walked into my office where I was, I broke down and began to sob. There was just something about having her there with me that made me open up and release the emotions that were bottled up inside me. Have you ever attended a wake, and when you approach a member of the family of the deceased, they will begin to cry when you greet them? You shouldn't feel bad about that, because that person has just demonstrated that you're someone that can help them express their grief in their time of emotional distress.
One other observation: I've also noticed when someone snaps and starts shooting people for no apparent reason, let's say at a school, one thing that we usually hear about that person is that he was a loner. I'm not a psychologist, but I have to wonder if people who don't have other people in their lives with whom they can release their emotions may be more likely to lose it and start doing crazy things that most people would never dream of doing. It sounds logical and entirely possible.
I am so blessed. I have so many friends and family members to share life with...to laugh with, to cry with...people who, when I'm around them, I can let go and just be myself. Not only can I be myself in their presence, but they're also the people who help to make me what I am and what I desire to become. So, just who are these people? Well, one of them is you! Because you're who you are, I can be who I am. Yes, I thank God for you!!
Preston
Here's something else I've noticed: I've been sitting in church when the preacher says something funny and everyone in the building will laugh at what he says, but we don't just laugh...we look around at each other while we're laughing. Have you ever noticed that? Why do we do that? I'm sure there have been numerous studies on that subject, so maybe I should look into it and find out. I'm not sure why we do it, I just know that we do. Do we become more emotional when we're with other people?
Let me give you another example from the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I was in a hotel room in Texarkana, Arkansas when my cell phone rang shortly after four in the morning. It was my brother, Stan, and he was calling to tell me that our brother, Roland, had just passed away. I was devastated. I got up and showered, ate a quick bite of breakfast, and headed home. Sometime in mid-afternoon, I sat down at my computer and began writing a "Thinking Out Loud" blog about him. Up to that point, I had spent the entire day alone, and although my heart was crushed, I had not yet shed a single tear. I was sitting at the computer, staring at the screen, almost done with my writing, when Angie arrived home from work. When she walked into my office where I was, I broke down and began to sob. There was just something about having her there with me that made me open up and release the emotions that were bottled up inside me. Have you ever attended a wake, and when you approach a member of the family of the deceased, they will begin to cry when you greet them? You shouldn't feel bad about that, because that person has just demonstrated that you're someone that can help them express their grief in their time of emotional distress.
One other observation: I've also noticed when someone snaps and starts shooting people for no apparent reason, let's say at a school, one thing that we usually hear about that person is that he was a loner. I'm not a psychologist, but I have to wonder if people who don't have other people in their lives with whom they can release their emotions may be more likely to lose it and start doing crazy things that most people would never dream of doing. It sounds logical and entirely possible.
I am so blessed. I have so many friends and family members to share life with...to laugh with, to cry with...people who, when I'm around them, I can let go and just be myself. Not only can I be myself in their presence, but they're also the people who help to make me what I am and what I desire to become. So, just who are these people? Well, one of them is you! Because you're who you are, I can be who I am. Yes, I thank God for you!!
Preston
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