Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXIX

A young man and a young woman sit together, gazing into each other's eyes, whispering softly, completely oblivious to the world around them; and suddenly for the first time, he utters those three special words, "I love you." She is thrilled and responds with, "I love you too." At that same time, in another part of the country, a young woman recites the same three words as she closes a phone conversation with her dad, "I love you." He answers with, "I love you too, Sweetheart." In a church in yet another part of the country, a forty-something year old woman sits on a pew, solemnly waiting for her dad's funeral to begin, when her husband points to the door, telling her their long-time friends have just entered. They are greeted with long, tearful hugs, and those three magic words, "I love you." And then, down in the southern part of the country, there's me, where my wife has just made a fresh chocolate pie. With coffee in my left hand and a fork in my right, I look longingly at my slice, and with tears welling in my eyes, I whisper, "I love you." These examples exemplify one of the shortcomings of the English language: One little word, used four different ways, all with similar, yet different meanings. The romantic meaning in the first illustration, is not the same as the parental love in the second example, while both of these are unlike the analogies in the love between friends and the love I have for my favorite dessert. Since we have to use the same phrase for all four of those scenarios, we just have to hope the person to whom we direct those words understands the context that is intended. Today, I would like to zero in on the third example....the love between friends. It's easy for me to tell my wife I love her, and it just comes natural for me to express my love for my kids. I have no problem informing anyone of my love for chocolate pie, bread pudding, carrot cake, etc., etc. Sometimes, however, saying "I love you" to a friend is a little more awkward, and I think it's because I don't want anyone mistaking the way I mean it. Even still, I'm of the opinion we should tell our friends how we feel about them more often than we do. Therefore, please allow me to set the record straight: The meaning of the phrase in my first illustration is reserved for my wife alone. If you're not a part of my family, or if you're not food, examples two and four do not apply to you. But please also understand that if you're a friend and you hear those words from me, I consider you to be a special part of my life. I will not throw those words around lightly. If ever there was a time for us to let people know how much they mean to us, it's today. I have friends who have expressed to me how much I mean to them, and I have to tell you, that picks me up like nothing else can. If you're like me, you need to hear that sometimes. For some reason, in our society and culture, it's fairly easy for a woman to tell another woman how much she loves her, but we men struggle with expressing those feelings to another man. I also believe it's a little more difficult for any of us to express our feelings to members of the opposite sex due to the fear of the words being misunderstood. As one who has experienced the elation of being told how much I'm appreciated, I'm working on getting better at expressing my feelings to others. Why don't we commit to telling someone how we feel today. So, my friend, now that you've read today's blog, if you hear me tell you "I love you," you know I don't mean it in a romantic sense, and unless you smell like cinnamon rolls, I know you're not food. And if I tell you, I'll mean it. Preston