Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLII

I do the hardest part first when I work in my yard. It's what I call "weed-eating." When I get done with that part, I usually take a five-minute break to cool off a little before I get on the mower to finish the job. Sometimes, on the night before (when I think about it), I will put two Gatorades in the refrigerator so they'll be nice and cool for me the next morning. I'll drink one during that five-minute break time and another when my job is complete. I'll often think about those cool, refreshing beverages while I'm in the process of my toiling and sweating in the almost unbearable heat and humidity, and just that thought gives me the perseverance to stay with my task until it's done. Such was the case last week, but as I was thinking about how nice and cool that Gatorade was gonna be, another thought hit me: In some respects, we humans are a lot like that Gatorade. Let me explain. I keep several bottles of Gatorade on a shelf in my garage, and it gets hot in there. As a result, they're hot when I put them into the refrigerator. However, after spending just one night in the refrigerator, they're nice and cool for me when it's time to drink them. Why is that? It's because they adapt to the environment they're in, and it doesn't take them long. You see, last week I forgot about them the night before, and I didn't put them into the refrigerator until just before I started working. The first one I drank, during my five-minute break period, was cooler than it had been when I put it in the refrigerator, but it wasn't quite the way I like them. The second one, the one I drank at the end of my job, however, was just what the doctor ordered. We're the same way. When we find ourselves in a new environment, we will almost immediately begin to adapt. I have some relatives who grew up in the south, but when they became adults and started working, they moved to one of the northern states. When I saw them about a year later, they had already started to lose their southern accent and were sounding more like "Yankees." I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that; I'm just using that story as an example. Here's a similar example with a more negative result: I detest profanity, especially in the workplace. It's unprofessional. One day, however, after working a couple weeks with some "potty-mouth" co-workers, I was talking with a client and one of those ugly words slipped out of my own mouth. I felt humiliated and I apologized, but it just goes to show you how I was already beginning to adapt to my environment, even to the point of becoming the type of person I DO NOT want to be. Whether or not I want to admit it, I become like the people by whom I'm surrounded, and often times just who they are is my choice. It can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing. A couple weeks ago Angie and I went out to eat with a group of friends from church, and on the way home I said, "Those are the kind of people I like hanging out with." On Saturdays, after our weekly "long run," I will have breakfast with other members of our running group.... health-minded friends who are a positive influence. No matter how strong or tough we think we are, we change to fit our environment. You see, you and I are like those Gatorades....we get cold when we spend the night in a refrigerator. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLI

I've heard people talk about the effects peanut allergies can have on an individual, but I'm not aware of any of my acquaintances who actually have to deal with that malady. If I did know someone like that, however, it would be cruel of me to try to tempt that person with any type of food that may contain peanuts. Surely no rational thinking person would knowingly commit such a deed. It would be criminal. I heard one man, who was lactose intolerant, say that he had friends who would tempt him with ice cream. What were they thinking? From what I've heard, it's fairly common for recovering alcoholics to be offered drinks from thoughtless friends. To me, none of that makes sense. It would be like asking that person to drink poison. For those of us who are fortunate enough to not be affected by peanut allergies, lactose intolerance, or alcoholism, we can partake of any of those items without giving it a second thought, and hopefully if I choose to eat peanuts when I'm dining at Logan's, it will not offend the person who has peanut allergies. In fact, I often commit a double whammy...I like to drink milk with my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I can consume it without guilt, because it doesn't harm me. Therefore, the same things that may be okay for me may actually be harmful to others. That leads to the point I want to make. Do you know what I'm talking about when I use the term "personal convictions?" They are standards, or guidelines, used by individuals to help them govern their lives and keep on target for certain goals they may have set for themselves. These convictions may not be about anything unethical or even sinful...they're simply rules that a person sets for himself, and no two individuals will have the same set of convictions. Some examples of what I'm talking about may be certain types of clothing some people may choose not to wear, foods or beverages they choose to not consume, or maybe even certain types of music they choose to avoid, etc. It would be good if each of us would have a list of personal convictions to help us stay on track. There is an unwritten "code of ethics," however, that should be followed when dealing with personal standards. If I have a set of these convictions for myself, I must not try to impose them on you or anyone else. What's wrong for me may not be wrong for you. By the same token, if you have your personal convictions, in no way should I try to persuade you to change or violate any of them. I must respect you for your stand and realize you have your set of standards for a reason, even if I don't know what that reason may be. The same rules that apply to peanut allergies, lactose intolerance, and alcoholism should also be followed with personal convictions. Let's make a deal: I won't try to impose any of my personal convictions on you if you won't pressure me to change or relax any of them for myself, and vice versa. If we break this deal, it could be poisonous for us both. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXXIX

I'm an artist. So are you. Whatever we do, when others can see us, we're painting a picture for those who may be observing us at that moment, and it may not look at all how we want others to see it. To better explain what I mean, I will give you four short examples.....true stories others have told me as well as one I experienced myself. A man in New York was on the subway headed home from work. He was tired and wasn't in the mood for any kind of disturbance. Everything seemed to be going as he wished until at one stop a man and his three small children boarded the car he was riding. Almost immediately, the kids were climbing the walls while the dad just stared ahead, seemingly oblivious to the commotion caused by his offspring. Finally, the tired worker could take it no longer, so he complained to the dad, "Sir, your children are out of control." The dad looked up and replied, "Oh! Yes....I guess they are." He then explained, "We're on our way home from the hospital where their mother just died, and and they don't know how to deal with it. To be honest, I don't either. I'm not sure what we're gonna do." The worker's attitude changed instantly, but what about the other passengers in that car who didn't hear the conversation? As sad as that story is, the only thing they saw was a group of out of control kids and a dad who was doing nothing about it. We can't blame them for their frustration. A lady from my church told this next story. She said one of her pet peeves is when shoppers in the super market ignore the twenty item limit in the express check-out lane and attempt to go through that line with a cart full of groceries. A few weeks ago she had her own cart full, and she made her way to the appropriate check-out lane. The next lane over was the express check-out, and no one was in it. The express lane cashier said to her, "Come on over to my lane and I'll check you out." She replied, "I have more than twenty items." The checker then said, "It's okay. There's no one here anyway." So she moved. As soon as the cashier started scanning her items, a man walked up behind her with only two items, and it was obvious he was frustrated. He had a right to be disgusted, but my friend cannot be blamed for her actions either. She was doing nothing wrong, but the picture she was painting was that of a woman who was abusing the express lane twenty item policy, and the man with two items had a right to be disgruntled. A woman was planning a surprise fiftieth birthday party for her husband, and she wanted to rent a ballroom in a local hotel, so she made arrangements to go with the party planner to check it out before paying the deposit. It just so happened, however, that her husband passed that hotel at the same time, and what he saw was his wife walking into a hotel with another man. She was attempting to do something good, but the picture her husband saw was anything but good, and it's easy to understand why he would be upset. One more: Angie and I went to a restaurant one night with a group of friends, and I had to go to the restroom while we were there. I noticed there was someone in the stall right next to the urinal, and while I was washing my hands just before I exited, I heard the flush in the stall and a restaurant employee walked past me without stopping to wash his hands. I walked out just in time to see him walking back into the kitchen. I feel certain there's a sink in the kitchen he could use to wash his hands, but I have no way of knowing if he actually used it, so let's just give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he did. The restaurant could claim that since the employee followed company procedure, I have no legitimate complaint. However, the picture I saw was an employee ignoring the rules of proper hygiene, so whether he did or didn't wash his hands, can you understand why I'll never eat there again? My point is this: You and I can be on opposite sides of an issue, yet neither of us are really in the wrong. Both sides can have legitimate gripes about the other, and even present good arguments for each side of the issue and both of us be right. Our arguments are over superficial things, and it's all due to the pictures we've painted. Preston