Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXVI

One of my close friends just cut me down to size. Well, sort of. I needed it though. The odd thing about it is, that was not the intention, and the full knowledge of its effect on me will only be made clear to her when she reads this article. Here's how it happened: My conversations with myself take place in front of the mirror. On my darkest days, I go to the mirror. When I'm on the mountain top, I go to the mirror. I don't talk out loud, but I have silent conversations with the guy looking back at me. Well, here lately, things have been going pretty good for me...business has been good, my family seems to be in a healthy state, Angie and I have become happily involved in our church, and we have an abundance of good friends. Things, in fact, have been going so well, it called for a trip to the mirror for a happy face to face chat with that awesome guy looking back. I said, "Well, we've finally got things going our way, don't we. I guess it just goes to prove you're a pretty smart guy after all. I really think it's gonna stay this way this time. Yep, if you were the bragging type, you could back up your words now." Then came that text. When I first read it, my head swelled just a little bit more. I took it the way it was intended, as a statement of honor. These are not the exact words, but the general message was, "I've been wanting and looking for a strong spiritual influence in my life, and I believe you're filling that role." That's it. That's all it was. So I headed back to the mirror to gloat just a little more, but when I got there, the guy looking back was not the same person I had seen on my previous visit. The man I saw this time was flawed. His imperfections were prominently displayed, and I saw him as a creature prone to making mistakes. All the intelligence that was so evident just a few hours earlier had been replaced with the reality of just how ignorant and "not ready for prime time" he really is. I turned and stepped away thinking, "Me? A spiritual role model? There must be some mistake. My friend just needs to go to the Bible for that spiritual influence." You see, the Bible is full of good examples of quality spiritual people. Peter, for instance. Of course, he was a hot headed, fly off the handle kind of guy, who even turned his back on his best friend when the situation became uncomfortable. Okay, what about Paul? Oh yeah, he did get into some serious disputes with some of his colleagues. Then what about Moses? Well, some people believe he had a speech impediment, and I know he threw a few temper tantrums. Maybe we could look at David. Oh yeah, I had forgotten that he had an affair with another man's wife, and then arranged to have her husband killed. Hmmmm. Some of those guys are worse than me. Okay, I get the message. As strongly as I feel about not wanting to ever be a bad influence or give faulty advice to my friend, I have to accept the fact that if someone wants a spiritual mentor, they will have to pick an imperfect person, because that's all there is to choose from. After all, who would want to seek advice about how to deal with problems, weaknesses, and errors in judgment from someone who never had any and didn't have a track record of overcoming them? I really believe this awesome responsibility is making me a better person. I'm not sure I qualify, but I pray I can measure up. Me? A strong spiritual influence? I've never really thought of myself like that before. Preston