Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCV

Okay, I admit it. I was wrong. I'll explain later, but first I need to set up a foundation so you'll understand what I mean. I have family and friends who are employed in the medical field, including a pharmacist, an anesthetist, and one who works for a heart surgeon, and they can all vouch for what I'm about to say. Many of their clients could have avoided the situations they're facing now if they had made better choices concerning their lifestyles in their younger years. Everyone of us have to make choices multiple times on a daily basis, about all aspects of our lives. Even the decision not to choose is a choice. We live in a free country and we are free to choose to do whatever we want to do. Even if the law doesn't allow it, we can choose to violate the law. Where our freedom ends is where the consequences of our choices begin. Depending on how we choose, we will either face the consequences or reap the rewards of our choice. There's just something about sound of the word "reward" that I like better than the sound of the word "consequence." Today, it is our choice if we want to forgive or hold a grudge, smile or frown, tell the truth or exaggerate, to save money or waste it, to exercise or be lazy, to be positive or negative, or to wallow in self pity or get up and make something of our lives. And get ready, because the rewards or consequences will be sure to follow. Life happens to all of us, and each of us has the choice of how we're going to deal with it. One of my close friends is a fifty year old man named Phil Parker, and five years ago Phil was lying in a hospital bed, not knowing if he would ever walk again. Things that come natural even to the youngest among us, Phil had to re-learn at the age of forty-five, such as swallowing. He was suffering from a rare stroke that hits men in their forties, and if ever there was a man who had an excuse to have a pity party and sing "Oh Poor Pitiful Me," it was him. Instead, on the day that I'm writing this, this same Phil Parker ran his first full marathon (26.2 miles), finishing in less than five hours. With his faith in God and a determination of steel, he picked himself up and did the unthinkable. His result was a reward and not a consequence of a choice he made. Now for my admission: I used to say a man has no control over his thoughts, but I was wrong about that. I was under the impression that thoughts just pop into our heads and there's nothing we can do to stop them, but there was something I wasn't thinking about when I said that. It's Philippians 4:8 that says, "Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." If we were unable to control our thoughts, why would that verse be in the Bible? It would be a wasted scripture. My point is, we can even choose what we think. Am I going to be positive or negative today? It's my choice. Am I an optimist or a pessimist? That's for me, and only me, to choose. Can I get myself out of the funk I may find myself in? I can if I choose to do so. Sure, thoughts of jealousy, rage, evil, lust, and self pity may pop into my head, but if I do them like I do the weeds that spring up in my garden and pluck them out, I can control them. One friend told me just this morning, "I can't help what I see, but I can choose what I look at." The same concept works with our thoughts. I'm a good man, a winner, successful, and an overcomer, because it's what I choose to be. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCIV

I have a good friend who is an avid deer hunter, but he never uses a gun. His weapon of choice is a bow. With a liberal use of my imagination, I pictured myself as one of his arrows. If that were the case, what would my thoughts be as he quietly placed me in position on his bow as he prepared to shoot? Naturally, his next step would be to silently pull back on the string and aim. You see, arrows can't speak, which would be good at that time, because I would be looking at my target, knowing exactly where I needed to go, and I would want to yell, "Hey, the deer is in front of us!! Why are you pulling me backward, AWAY from my target?!" What my friend would know that I wouldn't was that in order for me to be propelled forward, I would first have to be pulled back in the exact opposite direction of my intended destination. When my daughter and son in law were living in Chattanooga, we had gone up there to visit one weekend, and we went for a drive on Lookout Mountain. As we were taking in all the scenery, we began to notice what appeared to be tiny specks in the sky. Upon closer examination, we realized the skies were full of hang gliders. We continued driving until we reached the "jumping off" point for all those hang gliding thrill seekers, so we stopped to watch as they would run and jump off the edge of an 1100 foot cliff. The one man we became friendly with traveled with the band, "Sugarland," and we watched and talked with him until he was ready to jump. Taking a running start, he bailed off the side of the cliff, and immediately disappeared....downward. In just a few moments however, we saw him soaring about a hundred feet over our heads. What appeared to us as a disastrous fall was actually necessary for him to get enough momentum to acquire the desired lift beneath his wings to send him soaring. In the early days of my career as a manufacturer's rep, I was barely limping along, struggling every month just to make ends meet. It seemed to me that practically every account I would visit was giving the majority of their business to my big competitor, while giving me the small "accommodation" orders. Some months I could pay all my bills, and other months I couldn't. Then one day that devastating call came from my company that they had hired a new sales manager, and he was laying off the entire sales staff, and replacing us with rep groups. My world, as I knew it, had just come to an end. As if things weren't already bad enough, they had just gotten much worse. I was devastated, and had no idea what to do next, except pray. And pray I did! It was then that the big competitor I was talking about heard what happened, and offered me a position. My income doubled overnight, and there's no way I could be where I am today had that not happened. The timing was perfect for me to lose my low paying job at the exact time my competitor was in need of a sales rep for a much higher paying position. And speaking of perfect timing, about five minutes ago, as I was typing this article, I received a random text from another close friend with this quote: "Where you are today is no accident. God is using the situation you are in right now to shape you and prepare you for the place he wants to bring you into tomorrow. Trust him with his plan even if you don't understand it." For the arrow to reach the deer, it first had to be pulled back AWAY from it. For the hang glider to soar into the sky, he first had to plummet away from the sky, toward the ground below. For me to get the GOOD job I needed, I first had to lose the BAD one I had. So.....if it seems like you are being pulled back away from your goal, you'd better get ready, you're about to soar! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCIII

I had set my cruise to seventy-four on that Texas two lane highway with a seventy mph speed limit, yet compared to the other traffic, I appeared to be just another pokey old senior citizen who was in everyone else's way. After all, wasn't it obvious to me that the general flow of traffic was going much faster than the posted speed limit? There was a group of four vehicles riding my tail just waiting for an opportunity to get around me. Finally, their chance came and all four of them, a Dodge Ram, an old model S10 pickup, a Honda Pilot, and a white Ford F-150 with a headache rack and a company name on the door, darted past me like I was sitting still. Soon they were all out of sight, but just a couple miles up the road, I saw a Texas Highway Patrol had the Honda Pilot pulled over. I passed up that Honda like he was sitting still. (Actually, he was.) Yep, even I, the slow poke old man, got to the next town before he did, and I didn't even have to pay a fine. There's a saying I've heard down through the years, from both young and old alike: "With age comes wisdom." Yes, I know people say that, but really, how many believe it? I don't know any younger person who wants to act like an old man or woman. How many people will look at an older person and determine that they're going to make that man or woman a role model? How many would sincerely ask for a few tidbits of that wisdom? What has experience taught our more senior friends and family members that would help us in the struggles we face on a daily basis? Well, as a person who has lived more than six decades, I'll share some of what little wisdom I have accumulated. One of the first things that comes to mind is the fact that what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong, no matter how many people are doing it. Referring back to the first paragraph, we see that just because the general flow of traffic was greatly exceeding the speed limit, it didn't make it acceptable. You see, our older and wiser neighbors have learned not to allow the phrase "everybody's doing it" affect their decisions. That's one of the reasons the older generation refuses to follow every short term fashion trend of the day. (They also know the quickest way to kill a fashion trend is for old people to start wearing it.) Experience has also taught them that trivial minutiae is not worth getting worked up over. In other words, Grandpa and Grandma may have disagreements, but they know that by tomorrow they will be forgotten, so they're not going to lose any sleep over them tonight, while their younger counterparts will stay puffed up for days over the same disputes. They have also learned that it can save a lot of trouble and heartache if they look to a more knowledgeable individual to help them solve problems that crop up. In other words, they have learned to ask for advice. I can almost hear an aging mother telling her daughter, "The grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence." The daughter replies, "But there's a devil on this side." Mom's response, "There's one on the other side too, and the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know." That list could go on and on, but you get the message. Our more elder protégés have gained more wisdom simply because they have more experience. They're not smarter....just wiser. This is generally true for most of our senior citizens, but definitely not with all of them. I like a quote I saw posted by my friend, Gil Martin: With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCII

My five year old granddaughter, Lennon, does not like to hold my hand when we are crossing the street or walking across a busy shopping center parking lot, but with her tendency to just take off running without regard to traffic, it's something I insist on. Yesterday, however, was a different story. Angie and I had gone to watch her big brother, Lake, in his soccer game. When the game was over and we were all walking back to the car, she wanted Angie and me both to hold her hand. We figured out the reason really quickly...she wanted to go home with us. There was an ulterior motive behind her sweetness to us. It makes me feel good that she enjoys going to our house, but I also had to wonder if the art of "buttering us up" is a natural tendency or is it learned behavior? I thought it was cute the way she tried to play us, but there are times when adults try the same tricks, and that is NOT cute. Do you ever feel like you have "friends"who try to flatter you strictly in an effort to fulfill their own selfish desires? I will admit there have been times when I was gullible and fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It didn't take me long to become wise to their intentions, though, and then it just made me angry. I have received calls from people I haven't heard from in years, and the first thing I hear is how I have been on their mind lately, and they just wanted to call to let me know how much I mean to them.....oh, and also, as it turns out, they would also like some of my money in the form of a donation or some business proposition in which they would greatly benefit. If it's a business call, just let me know and we can go from there, but trying to "sweet talk" me first only makes me mad. I remember one time when I worked in retail, a young man walked into my store and asked me to remind him of the man's name who worked in the shoe department. I told him it was Jim, and he went back there and started talking to Jim like they were long lost best friends. Eventually he got around to asking Jim to co-sign on a car loan. Jim laughed in his face. It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." Being friends is a two way street. There has to be give and take on both sides, but in true friendships, what's in the best interest of the other person is always a factor in every decision you make in regards to the two of you. When it's not like that, the other party figures it out in a hurry. One of the most annoying things I face is when I realize someone is attempting to disrupt my life solely for their own benefit. That type of friendship is short lived. Let's make a deal. If I decide in our friendship, you're the sole beneficiary, I will walk away; and you do the same with me. You see, true friends love each other, and when that's the case, what works best for me cannot be my only consideration. Friends don't have an "it's all about me" attitude. Instead, it's more of an "it's about us" frame of mind, which requires each person to truly consider the needs and desires of their friends. I have friends who genuinely regard my best interest, and I do the same for them. Those are the keepers. Preston