Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXVII

The man was in dire straits. He found himself stranded on a tiny remote desert island with no hope for survival without a miracle. The only thing he could do was pray, and pray he did. That wasn't hard for him, because he was a believer and he trusted God, knowing the Almighty would come through for him. In just a short while, he heard a familiar sound and he looked up to see two men in a boat coming straight toward him. They told him they had plenty of room for him and welcomed him aboard, only to hear him decline the invitation. "WHAT?!?!!," they yelled in wonder. "Man, you won't survive a week on this island!" The man calmly responded, "You don't understand. I'm gonna be fine. I've prayed for God to save me, so I'll just wait for him to come through for me." The two bewildered men in the boat left without him. Just to make sure his prayers for help were getting through, he prayed one more time. Not long afterward, he looked up to see a helicopter hovering overhead. Then he heard a voice booming over a loud speaker on the helicopter, telling him they were lowering a basket, and all he had to do was climb in, and they would lift him to safety. Again, he declined the offer, using the same line of reasoning he had used with the men in the boat. The helicopter left without him. Then, sure enough, just as the first two men had warned, within five days, he was dead. When he reached Heaven, he questioned God about the outcome of his situation. "God, you let me down. I asked you to save me and you didn't answer my prayer." God replied, "What do you mean I let you down? I sent a boat and a helicopter to save you and you refused the help I sent you both times!" Yes, that story sounds a little ridiculous, and I guess it is, but doesn't that guy sound a lot like we do sometimes? I remember one unemployed man several years ago who was constantly requesting prayer about his financial situation, yet when he was offered a good paying job, he turned it down because the company was non union. Huh!?! I guess maybe he was expecting a check in the mail in an envelope that said, "To Brent, From God." I like the King James Version of Luke 6:38: "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over shall men give into your bosom." The part that grabs my attention is the part that says, "shall men give into your bosom." If I pray for a promotion on my job, shouldn't my boss have a part to play in the deal? That reminds me of a story my uncle told me one time about when he was working for a car dealership. They had a new van sitting on the showroom floor, and a church group had prayed for God to give them that van. Then, on the day they all showed up to receive their gift, there was a slight problem, since God had not instructed the dealership to let them have that van, and the result was when they insisted on taking the van, they were ordered to leave the showroom. Although he can, God rarely just supernaturally propels us forward. He will answer our prayers, but he most often uses people to do his work, and he also expects us to do our part. I saw a quote a while back that I loved: "What we can't do, God will do; what we can do, he won't do." We have to do our part. If I pray for a job, I must look for a job. If I pray for food, God may supply me with seeds to plant a garden. If I pray for healing, I need to also do what the doctor tells me to do. If I pray for good sales this season, I need to call on my customers and show them my products. If I pray for God to save my kids, I need to take them to church. Failure to do any of these things is like expecting to win the lottery without buying a ticket. Although there is no Bible verse that says, "God helps those who help themselves," there is one that says "....Those who refuse to work will not eat." (2 Thessalonians 3:10) When we pray for help, God will send help....using people in the process. And he doesn't reward laziness. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXVI

A few things I've learned from my dogs: *We can grow and thrive on a lot less food than we think. We have two miniature Schnauzers, both weighing less than seventeen pounds, and I think they would eat all day if we kept supplying them with food, but that's not what the veterinarian said to do. One half cup in the morning and a half cup in the evening, and no more. I can't say that we humans would be that much different from the dogs, yet we have access to all the food we want, resulting in us consuming much more than what we really need; and trust me, I'm talking to myself as much as anyone. I also feel that we sometimes try to force our kids to eat more than they need, when we're really just teaching them to overeat. *Life goes so much more smoothly when we learn to forgive and forget. My dogs don't always get their way. For instance, when they get a bath, you can rest assured it is completely against their will. We have learned to give Fontenot his bath first, because when Nellie gets hers first, Fontenot knows he will be next, so he goes and hides under the bed, refusing to come out. Then, as soon as the baths are done and they've had a chance to roll around for a while on the carpet or the sofa, they're both ready to sit in my lap and let me scratch behind their ears for a while. They may not even understand why when they lick me I don't lick them back, but they never give up on me. When Nellie wants a little pinch of my banana and I don't give it to her, I know she's disappointed, but she's always willing to show me some love, whereas we humans may hold a grudge for days or even weeks. *When I'm happy to see someone, I should make sure I let them know. When I have been gone for only a few minutes, my dogs hear the garage door opening when I drive up, and they are waiting at the door when I walk in, making no effort to conceal their pleasure at being in my presence again. There are friends and family I love spending time with, but sometimes I'm afraid that in my effort to be cool, I may neglect letting them know just how thrilled I am to get to spend time with them. What a shame it would be if they left thinking I wasn't too happy to see them. Our dogs haven't learned the art of hiding their feelings, so we know when they act happy to see us, it's for real. Actually, come to think of it, the ONLY time Fontenot is NOT happy to be with me is when he's getting a bath or when we're taking him to the groomer. And even then, when I go to pick him up from the groomer, he's thrilled to see me again. *It doesn't matter how big or how nice my home is. Nellie and Fontenot would be happy living with me in a three story mansion, but they would be equally happy to be living with me in a two room shack down by the river. The size of my bank account or how much I paid for my car means absolutely nothing to them. Just having the assurance that they are loved by us and we are loved by them is all they ask. They are not trying to impress the other dogs at the park with just how fancy their collars or leashes may be, or even what color they are. I feel sure those thoughts never enter their minds; they just want to have fun and when they leave, they want to go home with me. To be honest, we have it made. We've grasped the concept of communicating with written or spoken words; we have the option of becoming highly educated, which gives us the possibility of putting a lot of money into our bank accounts; and we have opposable thumbs, giving us the ability to pick up objects off the ground without using our mouths. However, the real question is, "Are we happier than our dogs?" I'm not too sure about that. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXV

Some people make me so mad! Especially when I'm stressed like I've been lately. As a general rule, I'm not a hot tempered person, but I do have my limits. I have to admit, however, that some of the moments in my life that I most regret are when I have gotten mad, lost my temper, and said things in a fit of rage that I shouldn't have said. When that happens, it rarely ends well. People's feelings get hurt, and they may carry that pain for years to come. Have you ever been the recipient of a "tongue lashing" that comes as the result of a burst of anger? I have, and though the whole misunderstanding may have been entirely my fault, It's still just a natural reflex to try to defend myself from the onslaught. Even when the situation ends up with apologies and forgiveness, I find myself walking on eggshells around that person for years to come in an effort to prevent a repeat of such an unpleasant circumstance, which actually causes me to avoid that person when possible. There are people who blew up at me more than twenty years ago, and even to this day, when I'm around them, I choose my words very carefully, resulting in awkward conversation. Like I was saying, this has been a very stressful week for me, and more than once I have had to fight off the temptation to set somebody straight. There are some rules I've learned that help me stay calm and in control, but at first I have to struggle to keep myself from allowing my anger to cause me to ignore those rules. The first one is simply to wait. In most instances, time will mellow my mood and I end up handling things in a much more civilized manner. Remember the rule as a child about slowly counting to ten before you speak when someone made you mad? Well, as adults, we may need to extend that count to days. If we stop and think about it, we have to admit that the other person probably had no intention of hurting or angering us. After all, we're all human and we all make mistakes, and hopefully we don't have a zero tolerance policy on mistakes for our friends and family. If we hold them to that standard, it's only fair for them to do the same to us. The golden rule says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If you unintentionally anger another person, wouldn't you prefer they give you the benefit of the doubt before they come unglued? For some reason, most of us look only at the here and now without considering the long term picture. I'd venture to say if we would always ask ourselves, "If I let this go, will it even matter five years from now," 99% of our conflicts would never happen. However, if we only consider our present feelings and go ahead and let our tempers rule our actions, we may find ourselves without as many friends five years down the road. It was just a couple nights ago that I woke up in the middle of the night angry at someone, and I lay there and silently planned the speech I was gonna give him. I even picked up my iPad to start putting the words in an email, but something inside of me kept telling me to wait....just wait. Give it some time. Now, I'm out of the mood to write it, and I'm so glad I didn't send an email that would've created unnecessary trouble. The conversation that caused my anger was over something trivial, and no, it won't even matter five years from now, unless I lose my cool now. There are a couple of "old sayings" that make a lot of sense if we'll just keep them in mind: "Patience is a virtue" and "Time heals all wounds." When we forget those rules, instead of healing the wounds, we create new ones. "Good things come to those who wait." Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXIV

I almost won the 2002 Chicago Marathon. As a matter of fact, the ONLY thing that kept me from winning is the fact that there were 21,476 people who finished ahead of me. But really, if they want to be fair about it, I should receive a first place trophy and some cash just like the real winner did, because the odds were stacked against me, making it practically impossible for me to come in first. For example, the 26.2 miles I had to run is a long way. I mean, how could they expect me to finish in less time than I did considering the distance I had to run....especially with that climb I had to make when I was crossing that bridge. Not only that, but there were 40,000 runners participating in that race, and, well, have you ever been in a crowd that big? It's hard to get around with that many people trying to do the same thing I'm doing. Another thing that put me at a disadvantage was my size. If the real winner had been as big as I was, he would've run slow just like I did. Yep, considering the circumstances, I should've been treated with just as much dignity and respect as he received. Let's take a look at the winner so you can see why it was so much easier for him. First of all, where I had all those people finishing ahead of me, he had no one coming in ahead of him and getting in HIS way. Can it be considered fair when the only reason he finished first was because he ran faster than anyone else? And where I had to run 26.2 miles, he.....well, okay, he ran the same distance, so we'll give him that. Oh yeah, and since he ran the exact same route I ran, he had to cross that same bridge, so I guess I'll give him that as well. But what about the fact that he's skinnier than me? Since I didn't follow that strict diet he followed, I had a little more meat on my bones, but you see, it's a real sacrifice having to do without all those cookies I like to eat right before bedtime. Okay, so he sacrificed when I didn't, but sacrificing is hard for me and it's just not fair to expect me to have to do it. I also hope you recognized the fact that I'm being sarcastic. Why do we sometimes look at others and just assume they have life easier than we do? We think they just breeze through life while we have to struggle, and that's not fair. Sometimes we think we should get paid just as much as our boss, yet we don't stop to consider that he risked his own money to get the business going, and we have no idea how much stress he deals with trying to keep his business, and our jobs, afloat. The doctor, who sacrificed years of his or her life going to medical school, deserves a higher income than those of us who didn't pay that price. Have you ever heard someone say something like, "I hate skinny people like her. It's not fair that clothes look so much better on her than they do on me." Maybe we should consider the price she has to pay to look like she does. Then the question comes up about the kids born to wealthy parents. There again, someone sacrificed so their kids could have a better life. The biggest factor in the greatness of our nation is the fact that so many people are willing to make sacrifices so they can have a better life. That is how wealth is created, and it in turn spills over to the rest of us. Nothing is free! Everything costs somebody something. There is a dangerous trend in our country today where more and more people think it's unfair for anyone to achieve more than someone else. There are those who believe the government should take from those who have sacrificed and give it to those who haven't, making everyone equal. The problem with that theory is that if the person who sacrifices has to settle for the same compensation as the ones who don't, the incentive to sacrifice is removed, and when the incentive to sacrifice is removed, eventually there will no longer be anyone who will be willing to sacrifice, causing all of us to be equally poor, and the wealthy who have been supplying the needs of everyone else will also be poor, causing the nation to collapse under its own weight. If everyone running the marathon gets the winners purse and trophy, there will no longer be a reason to put in the extra effort to win, and we'll all be moving slow. When hard work and sacrifice lose their reward, we'll all become lazy losers. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXIII

A mannequin in the window of Doughty's Department Store in Jena back in 1965 showed a pair of pants, a shirt, and a vest that screamed my name when we drove by. It was the best looking outfit I had ever seen, so I asked my mom to circle around the block so I could see it again. The second time around left no doubt....that outfit was made with me in mind, so I informed Mom right then and there that in order for me to live a fulfilling life, I must have that outfit. She said, "Sure. All you have to do is earn the money to buy it." I felt like Jacob must've felt as he worked for Rachel, toiling and laboring for that one big prize. The day finally came and I proudly walked in that store with a pocket full of money to collect that one object that would bring me happiness. I tried it on, chose the correct size, paid the price, and took it home. It wasn't until the next morning as I was getting ready for church and the chance to show off a little that my eyes were finally opened and I realized I had worked for Rachel, but had ended up with Leah. The outfit I had so desperately desired was nothing more than cloth, and brought me no more satisfaction than I had the day I first saw it in the window. As Jacob did with Leah, I kept it and used it, but the expected feelings of euphoria never materialized. A friend told me a similar story about a truck he saw on the lot. He had just finished school and landed his first job. He saved for the down payment, then walked in to negotiate. When they quoted the monthly payment to him, he knew it would be tight, but he could afford it, so he signed the dotted line. Then came the insurance bills he had failed to figure in the equation, and the gas he would need to fill the tank. He said the only place he ever took his truck was to work, because that was the only place he could afford to go, and as time passed, that truck he had coveted so strongly became a detestable sight sitting in his driveway. Those two stories illustrate the typical feelings we get when we set our eyes and our desires on "things." Every Tonka Toy I ever owned was nice the first day I had it, a little less nice the second day, and the trend continued. As I have aged and gradually acquired wisdom, I have discovered that there ARE possessions that provide me continuous and even increased satisfaction, but those possessions give back. They even get better with age. When I love them, they love me back. When I nurture them, they nurture me. They don't lose their value. What are they? Relationships. I'm convinced that when we have those cravings for more and more stuff, we are misinterpreting what we really crave, and are trying to achieve satisfaction with objects when what we really desire is love and acceptance. First of all, we are seeking a relationship with God, even when we don't know that's what we want. Secondly, we need each other. We need family. We need friends. Genesis 2:18 says, "It's not good for the man to be alone." A lonely man who is wealthy is not happy, yet a poor man who has a good relationship with God and family can live a life of satisfaction and fulfillment. Yes, I still see outfits in the window I like, and my buddy still drives a nice truck, but both of us have learned to keep them in their rightful spot on our list of priorities. Happiness can really be achieved, but it's not provided by toys. Preston