I think it must be a guy thing. I seldom see women doing it, but I see men doing it all the time...everywhere I go. It reminds me of the theme song from the old television show, "Cheers," where it talks about a "place where everyone knows your name." In this case, these "places" are restaurants and coffee houses where men gather every morning to drink coffee and share stories. The topics are as varied as anyone's imagination, but the most common subjects are sports and politics, and disagreements occur frequently. Yes, I participate, and I love it.
I do a lot of traveling and I have my regular breakfast spots in each city when I'm not staying in a hotel that provides a free breakfast...and I see the same people in each place every time I go. In Jonesboro, Arkansas, I usually eat at the Holiday Inn or The Front Page Cafe. Both places have a big table where at least ten guys will gather every morning and shoot the bull, usually on a come and go basis. In Metairie, Louisiana, it's the Tiffin Inn Pancake House, and although I'm about three hundred miles from home, I'm beginning to recognize the men that I expect to see every time I go. If I'm not traveling, I will usually meet up with friends at either the Corner Coffee House or McDonald's. We've been meeting there for years, and we see the same people day after day. My father-in-law lives in southern Louisiana, but when he's driving through the northern part of the state, he likes to stop at McDonald's in Ruston, and the coffee crowd there is getting to know who he is.
As I was saying earlier, we see a few women in these places every day, but they are rarely a part of the regular daily crowd. That doesn't mean that women don't like to mingle with other women, but I believe they are more likely to do it on a more formal basis. For example, ladies' groups at church seem to thrive and be better attended than similar men's groups. (We do have a group of both men and women who meet at the Coffee House every Saturday after our weekly long run, but that is a weekly meeting, and we usually just talk among ourselves.) I think this is a great example of some of the differences between men and women, and the different ways we have of viewing the world. For example, if a wife would ask her husband who are the guys he sees every morning at coffee, he could name every one of them in a heartbeat, but after that is when those differences begin to appear. The husband may mention something that Greg said, and his wife will ask, "Who's Greg?"
"He's one of my coffee buddies. He's a CPA."
"What's his wife's name?"
"I don't know."
"Well, is he married?"
"I don't know."
"Does he have kids?"
"Probably."
The women would find out all that information the first morning...except for the part about him being a CPA. The men would know who his favorite sports teams are, who he's gonna support for President, where he works, and where he likes to hunt. That doesn't mean that family issues are not important to men, it's just not something they spend a lot of time talking about with other men. I heard of one situation where a husband was talking to a man that his wife also knew, and when the man mentioned that he and his wife were getting a divorce, the husband said, "Man, that's too bad. I hate to hear that." End of conversation. That night when he got home, he mentioned it to his wife, and she had all kinds of questions about it, but her husband couldn't answer any of them, because he hadn't thought about asking.
I started out by saying, "It's a guy thing." There are plenty of other topics where we could say, "It's a girl thing." Yes men and women are different...and that's a good thing. It doesn't mean that one sex is superior to the other, it's just that we were created different. That's a God thing.
Preston
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCVII
Her name was Melanie, and she was a good girl who refused to see the bad in anyone. Melanie was a fictitious character in the classic novel "Gone With the Wind," but there are some real life individuals who share the same frame of mind that she did. I've tried to make it a habit to be as much like her as possible, but is it good to totally trust everyone? I've heard it said that there's some good to be found in every person on earth, but I regret to inform you that there are some folks out there who would not think twice about harming you or anyone else with whom they come in contact. I also know some people who are Melanie's opposite...they trust no one, and they'll be the first to admit it. Naturally, as a result, when someone wants to harm a fellow human being, it's the folks like Melanie who are most vulnerable to these bad characters.
So when I say that I've made it a habit to try to be more like Melanie, does that mean that I want to emulate society's most vulnerable individuals? Of course not! But I do have to ask myself if I would rather be a person who sees only the good in my fellow man, or would I rather be one who seeks only the bad? The obvious response would be to settle somewhere between the two extremes, but do I err on the side of the more trusting, or on the side of the more skeptical? Before we jump to a conclusion, let's take a look at a common scenario and see if it will give us some more insight as to where we need to be. Let's say we hire someone to do some work for us at our home. Should we pay him before the work is completed, or should we wait until we are totally satisfied before we write the check? I think most of us would say we should opt for the latter...don't pay until the work is done. But what if you're the person who has been hired to do the work? Do you risk buying the needed materials and then go do the work when you don't know if the person who hired you can be trusted to pay you when you've completed the job? It's a situation where one of the parties has to be more trusting more than the other. I'm a self employed contractor in the sales industry, and I have to travel a three state territory at my own expense in order to see the clients that will hopefully buy my product. In most cases, I don't receive a dime until I've made the sale, the merchandise has been shipped, and the invoice has been paid. I will be the first to tell you that there have been times when I never received a penny for my work, even after I had spent my own money on hotels, gas, and food, not to mention the fact that I spent days working with absolutely zero compensation. But although I've been burned, I have no choice but to go back out there with a different product and try it all over again. Fortunately, those bad experiences have been few and far between, but that's because most people are good and can be trusted.
By this stage of my life, I've pretty much settled in on where I fit on this scale, and it's between the two extremes, but closer to Melanie's side of the equation. At night when I go to bed, I make sure all the doors are locked. When I'm in my car, I try to always be aware of all the other traffic in case someone else is being careless. On the other hand, as a runner, although I try to be extremely alert at all times, I place my very life in the trust of all the drivers who are on same road as me when I'm on my morning runs. I think it would be a miserable life to be skeptical of almost every person I meet, and I also believe that if I want you to trust me, then I need to be willing to offer you the same courtesy. So, do I trust you? Yes, I do....until you give me a reason why I shouldn't.
Preston
So when I say that I've made it a habit to try to be more like Melanie, does that mean that I want to emulate society's most vulnerable individuals? Of course not! But I do have to ask myself if I would rather be a person who sees only the good in my fellow man, or would I rather be one who seeks only the bad? The obvious response would be to settle somewhere between the two extremes, but do I err on the side of the more trusting, or on the side of the more skeptical? Before we jump to a conclusion, let's take a look at a common scenario and see if it will give us some more insight as to where we need to be. Let's say we hire someone to do some work for us at our home. Should we pay him before the work is completed, or should we wait until we are totally satisfied before we write the check? I think most of us would say we should opt for the latter...don't pay until the work is done. But what if you're the person who has been hired to do the work? Do you risk buying the needed materials and then go do the work when you don't know if the person who hired you can be trusted to pay you when you've completed the job? It's a situation where one of the parties has to be more trusting more than the other. I'm a self employed contractor in the sales industry, and I have to travel a three state territory at my own expense in order to see the clients that will hopefully buy my product. In most cases, I don't receive a dime until I've made the sale, the merchandise has been shipped, and the invoice has been paid. I will be the first to tell you that there have been times when I never received a penny for my work, even after I had spent my own money on hotels, gas, and food, not to mention the fact that I spent days working with absolutely zero compensation. But although I've been burned, I have no choice but to go back out there with a different product and try it all over again. Fortunately, those bad experiences have been few and far between, but that's because most people are good and can be trusted.
By this stage of my life, I've pretty much settled in on where I fit on this scale, and it's between the two extremes, but closer to Melanie's side of the equation. At night when I go to bed, I make sure all the doors are locked. When I'm in my car, I try to always be aware of all the other traffic in case someone else is being careless. On the other hand, as a runner, although I try to be extremely alert at all times, I place my very life in the trust of all the drivers who are on same road as me when I'm on my morning runs. I think it would be a miserable life to be skeptical of almost every person I meet, and I also believe that if I want you to trust me, then I need to be willing to offer you the same courtesy. So, do I trust you? Yes, I do....until you give me a reason why I shouldn't.
Preston
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCVI
I would venture to say that there aren't many of you who can honestly say the same thing I do when I make this point: I love bologna sandwiches. It's not so much the taste or the texture that I find appealing; it's just that there's something special about them. They bring back pleasant memories. Although it was not a topic that was discussed with us kids, I overheard enough of the conversations between my mom and dad to know that, financially, things were tough around our house. Just like the majority of the women of that era, my mom was a housewife; and my dad was the sole breadwinner. His paycheck came on the fifth and twentieth of every month, and I know that practically every pay period, they were out of money by the time payday rolled around. However, even with our precarious financial situation, there was seldom a year that rolled around when we didn't go on vacation. Now, these weren't vacations where we stayed in nice hotels and ate at fancy restaurants...I don't recall ever doing that. We had some relatives who lived in Illinois and some who lived in Oklahoma, and that's usually where we'd go. Sometimes we would take camping trips with friends and sleep in our tents. I can remember one trip when we left home on a ten day camping trip to Colorado, and my dad took $100 with him...and those were the days before credit cards...which brings me to the point of the bologna sandwiches. That's what we had for lunch on most of those days, and I loved those vacations so much that when I have a bologna sandwich today it brings back those pleasant memories from my childhood and those wonderful family trips.
Here's a similar story but with opposite effects. I remember one night when I was a little boy and I was riding in the back seat of my cousin's car on a trip back home from Shreveport. I had just eaten some peppermint candy sticks, and I got car sick. I threw up all over his back seat. It's a terrible memory. Even though that incident happened more than fifty years ago, I'm still reminded of it every time I eat peppermint. As a result, if you offer me peppermint, I will probably tactfully decline.
Isn't it weird how our minds affect us that way? The two examples I just gave are both related to food, but it can be with anything. It could be a song that was popular during an unhappy period of my life that brings back those unpleasant memories. Yet there are some songs that I really like because they remind me of some good times in my past. There is a beautiful jogging track that goes practically all the way around the ten-mile circumference of White Rock Lake in Dallas, yet in the three times that I've run the White Rock Marathon, my toughest struggles were while I was circling that lake....and I don't want to run it any more, no matter how gorgeous the scenery.
I believe that much of what we like or dislike, where we struggle or where we excel, and what makes us happy or makes us sad, is all in that small space between our ears. I also believe it's something that we can control if we put forth the effort...and I'm putting forth that effort. The areas that bring me happy thoughts, I'm leaving alone. But the others are the ones I'm attempting to change. I'm trying to think happy thoughts about some of the running routes that have given me grief in my past. I bought some peppermint Life Savers as a step back toward the candy sticks. When I hear some of the songs that bring me unhappy thoughts, I try to focus on the music instead of the memories. I may even go back to Dallas some nice pleasant day and make one more loop around that lake...but with a different attitude. I think it might work. I may even try to look for the good qualities of some people I don't like and see how that works.
Preston
Here's a similar story but with opposite effects. I remember one night when I was a little boy and I was riding in the back seat of my cousin's car on a trip back home from Shreveport. I had just eaten some peppermint candy sticks, and I got car sick. I threw up all over his back seat. It's a terrible memory. Even though that incident happened more than fifty years ago, I'm still reminded of it every time I eat peppermint. As a result, if you offer me peppermint, I will probably tactfully decline.
Isn't it weird how our minds affect us that way? The two examples I just gave are both related to food, but it can be with anything. It could be a song that was popular during an unhappy period of my life that brings back those unpleasant memories. Yet there are some songs that I really like because they remind me of some good times in my past. There is a beautiful jogging track that goes practically all the way around the ten-mile circumference of White Rock Lake in Dallas, yet in the three times that I've run the White Rock Marathon, my toughest struggles were while I was circling that lake....and I don't want to run it any more, no matter how gorgeous the scenery.
I believe that much of what we like or dislike, where we struggle or where we excel, and what makes us happy or makes us sad, is all in that small space between our ears. I also believe it's something that we can control if we put forth the effort...and I'm putting forth that effort. The areas that bring me happy thoughts, I'm leaving alone. But the others are the ones I'm attempting to change. I'm trying to think happy thoughts about some of the running routes that have given me grief in my past. I bought some peppermint Life Savers as a step back toward the candy sticks. When I hear some of the songs that bring me unhappy thoughts, I try to focus on the music instead of the memories. I may even go back to Dallas some nice pleasant day and make one more loop around that lake...but with a different attitude. I think it might work. I may even try to look for the good qualities of some people I don't like and see how that works.
Preston
Monday, January 9, 2012
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCV
It baffles me to see where there are people who dislike the Ben Davis story. That young man has an awesome testimony, but apparently there are a few who disagree. In his story, Ben Davis of Little Rock, AR, tells of how he was morbidly obese, and as a result was actually a very sad individual. Then one day he decided to do something about it, and since then he has accomplished some lofty goals that would've been unthinkable just a couple years before. Someone sent me an email with the link to his YouTube production, and I, in turn, posted it on our Facebook Crazy Runners page. I was so impressed that I must have watched it five or six times, and I noticed where thousands of people had "liked" it, but what got my attention was the fact that there were sixty-eight people who had clicked "dislike."
What kind of person can find something negative to say about an individual who successfully decides to take control of his life and put it back in order? I've come to the conclusion that apparently some people are unhappy and they want everyone else to be unhappy with them. As I thought about it, I realized that I think I may know who some of these folks are, and you probably do too. If not, just get on Facebook a while and you'll find them. I see some, on both sides of the political spectrum, who are so consumed with hatred for everyone on the other side, that all you see from them are vile, venomous comments and postings. (I should pause here long enough to mention that only a few people fall into this category.) It occurred to me that I could easily "de-friend" them, but I don't think I will, because I've discovered a "positive" in their rantings.
You see, I have figured out that these few individuals are providing me with a great example of what I DO NOT want to become, and they're making me realize that if I'm not careful, I can end up with that same unhealthy attitude. So how do I make sure I don't fall into their pit? There is a way. I've heard it said that a person has no control over what thoughts pop into his mind, and whether or not that is true, we CAN control what happens after that. Your mind is like a garden. When weeds appear, you can either pluck them out, or you can water and fertilize them along with the good crop until they take over and choke out the good stuff. When evil, negative thoughts show up, you can flush them, or dwell on them until they crowd out all the healthy, positive thoughts. Let me take you to the book I like to use to help me keep my life on the right track: The Holy Bible. It's found in Philippians 4:8. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Yes, at times I get mad. Sometimes I'm sad, or depressed, or maybe just in a bad mood. All those feelings are just a part of being human, but I'm here to tell you right now that I refuse to become the type of individual who is viewed by the world as a negative, angry person. So if you're going to be hanging out with me for a while, my goal is when it's time for you to leave that you'll be feeling better than when you came.
Preston
What kind of person can find something negative to say about an individual who successfully decides to take control of his life and put it back in order? I've come to the conclusion that apparently some people are unhappy and they want everyone else to be unhappy with them. As I thought about it, I realized that I think I may know who some of these folks are, and you probably do too. If not, just get on Facebook a while and you'll find them. I see some, on both sides of the political spectrum, who are so consumed with hatred for everyone on the other side, that all you see from them are vile, venomous comments and postings. (I should pause here long enough to mention that only a few people fall into this category.) It occurred to me that I could easily "de-friend" them, but I don't think I will, because I've discovered a "positive" in their rantings.
You see, I have figured out that these few individuals are providing me with a great example of what I DO NOT want to become, and they're making me realize that if I'm not careful, I can end up with that same unhealthy attitude. So how do I make sure I don't fall into their pit? There is a way. I've heard it said that a person has no control over what thoughts pop into his mind, and whether or not that is true, we CAN control what happens after that. Your mind is like a garden. When weeds appear, you can either pluck them out, or you can water and fertilize them along with the good crop until they take over and choke out the good stuff. When evil, negative thoughts show up, you can flush them, or dwell on them until they crowd out all the healthy, positive thoughts. Let me take you to the book I like to use to help me keep my life on the right track: The Holy Bible. It's found in Philippians 4:8. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Yes, at times I get mad. Sometimes I'm sad, or depressed, or maybe just in a bad mood. All those feelings are just a part of being human, but I'm here to tell you right now that I refuse to become the type of individual who is viewed by the world as a negative, angry person. So if you're going to be hanging out with me for a while, my goal is when it's time for you to leave that you'll be feeling better than when you came.
Preston
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCIV
Pain hurts. Fear is scary. Sickness feels bad. A broken heart is miserable. I know that, because I've experienced all those conditions. So have you. In fact, there have been times when some of us have experienced all of them at once. Here's another statement that practically all of us would agree with: "God has the power to remove any of them at any time, or even stop any of them before they get to us." It's just that He doesn't always do that. Why? There's one question I've heard several times recently, all from different sources, that asks, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Have you ever had that question in your mind, and it made you begin to question God's love, or His power, or maybe even His existence? I remember when President Kennedy was assassinated, although I was a child at the time, and then again after 9-11, I heard people making the statement that there must not be a God if things like that were allowed to happen. I've never questioned God's existence, but I must admit that I've puzzled over how to answer why bad things happen to good people. I may not even be able to give you a satisfactory answer today, but I do think I'm beginning to gain a little more insight on that subject. I've had two different conversations with friends recently that have stirred up my thought process and made me think about this topic from a different perspective.
I will admit that I'm not personally acquainted with everyone who reads this blog, yet I feel that each one of you would be considered a "good person," at least if we're using the word "good" as a relative term. In this sense, "good" doesn't mean "perfect." So just how good does a person have to be to be considered "a good person?" It stands to reason that we all are at a different degree of good, and since none of us are perfect, there must be a little "bad" in all of us. Is that acceptable? Some of you will know the answer to this next question, and some will not: In what context is the term "filthy rags" used in the Bible? It is used in the book of Isaiah to explain what our righteousness looks like when compared to the righteousness of God. All of us are part good and part bad. So does that mean when someone experiences pain in his life he is getting what he deserves? That's not what I'm saying. By the same token, I cannot say that when something really good happens to an individual that he is getting what he deserves. Here's my point: As humans, we have a tendency to accept without question the good that happens to us, but when the bad comes, we want to accuse God of not being fair. When we are going through a tough time, we notice that our neighbor is enjoying the good life, but we never seem to pay attention when the situation is reversed.
Now, let me take it one step further by giving you a personal example. I have a good job, and I'm grateful for it. However, as I look back, I realize that it would not have been possible for me to get this good job if I hadn't lost the mediocre job that I had previously, yet I went through a very difficult period during that transition. I don't believe God causes bad things to happen to us, but He does know how to turn that season of famine into a harvest of blessings like we've never known before. It may be that you had to endure the pain of a broken relationship in order to find that one person who seemed to be created especially for you. Joseph would have never become the number two man in all of Egypt had he not been first sold into slavery by his brothers. I can name friends who have gone through the fire, not knowing if they were going to live or die, yet today they are living life to the fullest and stand as a source of help and strength to others who are going through that same fire. The pain, the fear, the sorrow, and the feelings of rejection are very real as you experience them, even to the point of making life seem almost unbearable, but the good news is, they're temporary.
If you are finding yourself at one of the lowest points of your life, it doesn't mean that you're getting what you deserve...it's just that you're going through a period of change and preparation for something that is much better than you've ever experienced. No one in history ever had to experience the kind of agony that Job faced, yet in the end he had much more than before his trials began. As a runner, I love the downhills, but I would never get to experience them if not for the difficult climbs that precede them.
Preston
I will admit that I'm not personally acquainted with everyone who reads this blog, yet I feel that each one of you would be considered a "good person," at least if we're using the word "good" as a relative term. In this sense, "good" doesn't mean "perfect." So just how good does a person have to be to be considered "a good person?" It stands to reason that we all are at a different degree of good, and since none of us are perfect, there must be a little "bad" in all of us. Is that acceptable? Some of you will know the answer to this next question, and some will not: In what context is the term "filthy rags" used in the Bible? It is used in the book of Isaiah to explain what our righteousness looks like when compared to the righteousness of God. All of us are part good and part bad. So does that mean when someone experiences pain in his life he is getting what he deserves? That's not what I'm saying. By the same token, I cannot say that when something really good happens to an individual that he is getting what he deserves. Here's my point: As humans, we have a tendency to accept without question the good that happens to us, but when the bad comes, we want to accuse God of not being fair. When we are going through a tough time, we notice that our neighbor is enjoying the good life, but we never seem to pay attention when the situation is reversed.
Now, let me take it one step further by giving you a personal example. I have a good job, and I'm grateful for it. However, as I look back, I realize that it would not have been possible for me to get this good job if I hadn't lost the mediocre job that I had previously, yet I went through a very difficult period during that transition. I don't believe God causes bad things to happen to us, but He does know how to turn that season of famine into a harvest of blessings like we've never known before. It may be that you had to endure the pain of a broken relationship in order to find that one person who seemed to be created especially for you. Joseph would have never become the number two man in all of Egypt had he not been first sold into slavery by his brothers. I can name friends who have gone through the fire, not knowing if they were going to live or die, yet today they are living life to the fullest and stand as a source of help and strength to others who are going through that same fire. The pain, the fear, the sorrow, and the feelings of rejection are very real as you experience them, even to the point of making life seem almost unbearable, but the good news is, they're temporary.
If you are finding yourself at one of the lowest points of your life, it doesn't mean that you're getting what you deserve...it's just that you're going through a period of change and preparation for something that is much better than you've ever experienced. No one in history ever had to experience the kind of agony that Job faced, yet in the end he had much more than before his trials began. As a runner, I love the downhills, but I would never get to experience them if not for the difficult climbs that precede them.
Preston
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