Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVIII

I'm walking toward the door of the Coffee House, and the reflection in the window alerts me to the fact that a woman is right behind me, heading for the same door. I know what to do. It's second nature to me, because I was taught as a little boy how to act in that situation....I grab the handle, pull the door open, then step aside and hold it for the lady, letting her enter ahead of me. I was taught through all my formative years how a gentleman is supposed to treat a lady, and I still adhere to those rules, even though I'm not sure if they still hold true today. The way I've done it has worked well for me down through the years. Usually the lady will smile and say "Thank you," although occasionally she will walk through the door without acknowledging me, but I can also recall a couple times when the woman rudely informed me she preferred opening the door herself without my help. So here's my question: Do the younger women of this new millennium still like it when gentlemen hold doors open for them? As a husband and a dad to women, it would be unthinkable for me to be okay with a man who is performing equal work with my wife or daughter to be paid more than they are just because he's a man. I have no problem voting for a woman, as long as her political views match mine. I could be happy working on a job where a woman was my boss. My teacher in my Community Group at church is a woman whom I deeply respect and love, and I thoroughly enjoy her teaching. I guess my point is I believe in gender equality, and I believe major decisions in our home should be made by both of us jointly. It is my opinion that men in general, me included, desire to treat women the way they want to be treated, but it's those few who are so vocal about not wanting us to open the door for them, etc. that make us uncomfortable and unsure how to treat ladies. What if the tragedy of the "Titanic" happened today instead of more than one hundred years ago? Assuming that just as then, there would be an insufficient number of lifeboats, would it still be proper to have the rule about making sure all the women and children were able to board the lifeboats before any men could board? Would it still be considered shameful for any man to try to sneak on board a lifeboat before all the women had a chance? I wonder if the woman who doesn't want me opening a door for her would refuse when I stepped aside and offered her the chance to get on a lifeboat ahead of me. I've discussed this matter from time to time with female friends and family members, and I've concluded that practically all of them still want gentlemen to treat them like ladies in practically the same way it's been done for generations. Ladies should be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve, as equal creatures with men, yet with just a little special treatment simply because they're ladies. There's nothing wrong, disrespectful, or demeaning about telling a lady how nice she looks as long as she is also respected for the intelligent creature she is. That's how I feel, but then I'm "old school." Here's hoping the "new school" feels the same. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVII

Looking ahead from a distance, I thought it was a police car on the shoulder, checking for speeders. As I got closer, I noticed there was more than one car parked next to the highway, and it was obvious they weren't cops. The vehicles were sitting across the road and directly in front of a big house, and there were two or three people standing around. However, before I get to the story of what was going on, I probably should tell you about the house. I've seen it a few times before. Simply saying it is a big house is a vast understatement. A more accurate description would be it is a huge mansion. It's a giant 2-story home sitting back about a tenth of a mile off the highway with a lawn that is at least ten acres. The building, as well as the entire piece of property, is always kept in immaculate condition, and I've never passed that way when the lawn wasn't well manicured. The estate is surrounded by a beautiful fence. Just inside the yard, all along the fence, is a row of beautiful, old pecan trees, and the trees line both sides of the driveway up to the home. The space between the fence and the highway is kept just as well as the yard. I have no idea who lives there, but whoever it is, they are apparently people of immense wealth. Now to the people who were parked beside the road in front of the house: Their cars were, for lack of a better term, old rattle traps. Although I've never seen the residents of that fine home, there is no doubt about the stark contrast as to the social status of them and the folks outside the fence. You see, those big pecan trees along the front fence have some limbs that hang over the fence, just above the grassy area between the fence and the highway. The visitors had what looked like old pillow cases, and they were filling them with pecans. It was apparent the homeowners had no problem with their less fortunate neighbors helping themselves to a few pecans. It didn't hurt their bottom line one iota. You and I fall somewhere between the two extremes I saw on that Texas highway, yet I have no doubt that we have something we can give to the needy that won't hurt us one bit. I've recently been made aware of a family that had nothing, and the definition of "nothing" is "not anything." It has opened my eyes to just how fortunate I am, when I really hadn't realized it before. I've thrown things away that some people not far from me would love to have. It brings a whole new meaning to the old adage "One man's trash is another man's treasure." As I talk to friends, I'm amazed at how they actually want to give, but, just like me, their circle of friends and influence are not the ones who are desperately in need, and we just don't know who they are. I didn't even know about the family I mentioned, but when someone else told me about them, it made me think about things I have around my house that's just in my way since I've replaced them with newer styles, yet those people were having to do without those very items. I'm not asking for help for that family.....they're now being taken care of. Nor do I intend to make it sound like I'm trying to apply pressure for anyone else to start giving away their "stuff." I'm of the opinion that pressured giving is not real giving....it's more like someone else "taking." I also realize that some of the "have nots" are in that condition due to bad life choices, but my answer to that is "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." We've all made some bad choices. No, I don't know much about that well-to-do family in south Texas, but I do like the fact that, if they wanted, they could stop the poor from taking pecans from their property....after all, how does it make their place look with all those old cars hanging around their front yard....yet they seem to welcome them there. I understand that you and I don't have the kinds of resources that family has, but I'll bet we have something we can give that won't hurt us a bit, just like giving those pecans didn't hurt that family. Every year about this time, I try to send out a reminder to everyone who may WANT to give, but we just don't know anyone in need. If we think about it though, we can think of sources of information as to who is truly in dire straits. What better way is there to celebrate the birth of Christ than to follow His example, because after all, no one gave more than He gave. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLI

There were some who blamed that new young preacher for instigating much of this pack of trouble, and it's entirely possible that sure enough he may have been at least partly at fault. There's just no way to prove it now. It's a known fact there was tension between the new preacher and the old preacher. The old preacher, Rev. Francis Dane, was about sixty-five years old when some members of his congregation expressed their concern that he was getting too old to lead a church, and should be replaced with a younger pastor. When the new preacher arrived, the church stopped the salary of Rev. Dane. When he appealed that decision, they decided to split the new preacher's salary, giving the older man 37.5% of what he had previously been making and taking it from the younger man's salary. Naturally, this decision pleased no one, and that's where the animosity began. It was right after those events that Rev. Francis Dane; his two daughters, Elizabeth (Betty) Dane Johnson and Abigail Dane Faulkner; and his daughter in law, Deliverance Hazeltine Dane, found themselves as defendants in the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. Although Francis Dane never had to go to trial, his daughters and daughter in law were convicted and sentenced to death. During the trials, some of the women of the town who were called as witnesses would begin writhing and exhibiting all kinds of contortions, and claiming they were under spells cast on them by the defendants. One witness's writhing took her under the table where Abigail was sitting, and when she touched Abigail's leg, the contortions stopped. The witness then claimed that touching her was the only remedy to the writhing. Abigail's two daughters were also charged, and they both pleaded guilty and implicated their mother in the charges. It is believed that Abigail instructed them to do so, attempting to place all the blame on herself. This was done in an effort to spare the lives of her daughters. All this time, Rev. Dane was working behind the scenes to put a stop to all the nonsense. Although at first, Rev. Barnard, the young preacher, was a big proponent of the trials, he too eventually came out against them. In the end, none of the Dane family lost their lives over the incident, although there were others who weren't so fortunate. The governor of Massachusetts ended up stopping the executions, and all the members of the Dane family were pardoned except Deliverance Dane, who never had her name cleared. I've known about the Salem Witch Trials since I studied American history in the seventh grade, but I never really thought that much about them until the past few weeks. You may be wondering what could possibly have suddenly stirred my interest in events that happened more than three hundred years ago. Here's the reason: I've just learned that I am a great (X9) grandson of Francis Dane, through his daughter, Elizabeth Johnson, one of the accused....down through my mom's side of the family. I've always thought the whole Salem Witch Trials episode was a farce, but now that I know it was my own family who was on trial, I'm CERTAIN it was. Hey, don't mess with my family!!!! I'll put a spell on you. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLV

There's a chain of mattress stores who call themselves "The Sleep Experts." Maybe they are. I really can't say for sure, but I have a feeling their "expertise" is only about mattresses, while there are many other aspects of sleep where their knowledge is more limited. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on any area of sleep, but I HAVE figured out a few things, and I'll share some of them with you today. No doubt, there are some medical issues that affect a person's sleep patterns, and I won't even try to get into them. I know a lot of people who say they don't sleep well, but for the most part, I sleep well practically every night, and here are six very practical reasons why I do and should also work for you: 1) If you can only splurge on one thing your entire life, it should be on your mattress. You will spend a third of your life on it, so make sure it's the best one you can afford. 2) Stay active during the day so you will be tired at bed time. There are times when I have to work weekends, but usually, other than going to church, I try to take it easy on Sundays, while every other day, I find plenty to do that makes me look forward to going to bed at night. 3) Clear your mind. There are two kinds of problems: The ones you can fix, and the ones you can't fix. If you have an issue you know you can handle, resolve to do so, then go to bed with the assurance it will be resolved. As far as the ones you can't fix, I learned a lesson from nature that helped me in that situation. A cold front was moving in, and ahead of it was some stormy weather. Not only was it raining hard, but the wind had shifted and the temperature was dropping fast. We humans seek shelter in those situations, but the cattle living in the pasture don't have that option. I was driving through a rural area of southern Texas at that time, and I passed a cow pasture. There was nowhere in that pasture for the cattle to find a place to be out of the weather, so it was a problem they couldn't fix, and here's how they handled it: They had lunch. Running around and getting all worried would've done them no good, so they accepted it as non avoidable, and resumed their normal activity. Also, we should keep in mind the things we spend so much time worrying about don't really harm us anyway. I remember one night when I knew I would be having a very unpleasant phone conversation at work the next morning, and there was no way out of it. Although I had no way of knowing what would be said, nor what the outcome would be, I decided there was nothing I could do about it anyway, so I slept like a baby. Sure enough, the call came and the outcome was not good, yet here I am today completely unharmed by that event. 4) Be at peace with yourself. When you go to bed at night knowing you are not living the way you should, and you're not happy with who you have become, it can result in sleepless nights. Here's the situation you're facing: You have a problem that will linger until it's fixed, and only you can fix it. Making things right may be awkward, and even make you feel temporarily uncomfortable, but when you make things right with God and your friends and family you have wronged, you will feel better and the sleepless nights will vanish. 5) When you lie down at night, keep your mind on pleasant thoughts. You know the things that make you happy. When your mind drifts to worrisome thoughts, force it back to the happy things. 6) When all else fails, try reading one of my "Thinking Out Loud" articles. That works better than a sleeping pill. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLIV

As a general rule, I try to stay away from controversial topics on this blog, but I have decided to weigh in on the events in Ferguson, MO and present my views on this explosive occurrence. First of all, I predict that in the not too distant future, as far as most of the country is concerned, this fiasco will be yesterday's news, and we'll all be talking about whichever big story the news media decides to sensationalize next. In the meantime, however, the big news is Ferguson. Without a doubt, I have readers on both sides of the issue, and both are equally convinced their views are right, and they could eloquently and convincingly present their sides of the story. Here's my view: I just don't know for sure, but then, like most of us, I don't know all the facts. I'm only aware of the facts the news media has chosen to share. What I DO know is our system of justice in this country has served us well down through history, with a few tweaks along the way as needed, and we would be well advised to trust its reliability. It is the job of the grand jury to decide if there is enough evidence to take a case to trial, and in most cases, if they decide that evidence is not there, it would be extremely difficult to prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt once the defense had the chance to present their case if there WAS a trial. Another aspect of this story that needs to be considered is the fact that there are two families who are hurting right now, and their holiday season will not be happy. The Brown family has lost a son they loved, and although the grand jury decided not to indict, the Wilson family has had their lives forever altered, and will have to spend the rest of their days looking over their shoulders, and sleeping with one eye open. That brings me to another point: People on both sides of this issue have the right to protest and demonstrate, as long as it is done peacefully. It disappoints me, however, when criminals who don't even have a dog in the fight, use this event as an excuse to destroy the property of innocent business owners, and rob them blind before doing so. Just a few short years ago, my little hometown in central Louisiana was the center of a similar controversy that was in the news just like Ferguson is today. Mistakes were made by fallible human beings on both sides of that issue as well, and it's understandable that tensions would be running high in both camps. In both instances, Jena and Ferguson, the trouble was not created by the local people, but by outsiders who came to town solely for that purpose, although the events in my hometown didn't even come close to being as explosive as they are in Ferguson. And while on that topic, I must add that both of those stories have re-enforced my view that most of our news media cannot be trusted to present all the facts of news stories such as these in an unbiased manner. I will go so far as to say that much of the media wants bad things to happen, so they can have a sensational story. As a matter of fact, "The New York Times" went so far as to publish the policeman's home address and a copy of his marriage license, which contains data that could provide information on his extended family. It is my belief that 95% of our nation's population is made up of good people, and I have to trust the theory that the grand jury, which is chosen from among these "good people," made their decision from the facts presented to them, and acted in a way they felt was right. We also have to trust that their decision was not racially motivated. There are those who are disappointed, while others are satisfied, but I've never heard of a trial where that was NOT the case. As for us, our best course of action is to pray for the Browns, for the Wilsons, for Ferguson, and for our great country. Now....let's all, regardless of skin tone, lock arms and join forces to work for a society where we all love each other....even in our disagreements. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLIII

The temperature outside was a frigid, bone-chilling 61 degrees Faranheit. Well, maybe 61 is not really THAT cold, but you would think it was by the way my friend, Phil, was preparing for it. I watched as he put on a heavy jacket and zipped it all the way up. Next he pulled a warm beanie cap down over his ears, followed by some black leather gloves on his hands. All that for 61 degrees? You see, Phil was getting ready to take a trip on a motorcycle, and he understood what we know as the "chill factor." I'm sure most of us are aware that the chill factor is not the actual temperature, rather it's what it feels like. Inanimate objects are not affected by the chill factor. The chill factor won't freeze your radiator nor damage your plants, because water and vegetation don't have the sense of feeling the way people and animals do. As far as we humans are concerned, however, the way it feels is what it is....at least in our minds, and that is true with more than just the temperature. Word got back to me one time that someone had said I reminded him of Reggie from the comic strip, "Archie," because I thought I was hot stuff. Huh? Me? If only he knew the truth! Although his assessment of me was inaccurate, it upset me when I heard what was said, because it made me wonder if that's how I came across. I worried that my effort to exhibit self confidence created a "chill factor" that made it "feel like" I thought more highly of myself than I should. What kind of person am I really? I guess that's a question that only God and me could answer, but in the minds of others, their perception of me is reality. That leads me to ask the question, "How do I make others feel?" Even if I'm a warm hearted guy, if I come across as cold and heartless, that's how I will be viewed. Do I make it seem like I don't really want to make conversation, and appear to be in a hurry to get away? Do I give the impression that your issues are minor compared to the things that personally affect me? The type of man I "appear" to be makes no difference to the bed I sleep in or the car I drive, because they don't have feelings; but to other individuals, it makes all the difference in the world. My actual temperature is 98.6, but if I make you feel like it's 68.9, my chill factor is coming in to play, and I don't want that. My goal is to make you feel warm, kicking the chill factor out of the equation. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLII

My friend spoke to his little girl with a stern, authoritative voice: "Mandi, if you do that one more time, young lady, you're going to be in big trouble. Do you understand me?" "Yes sir." Less than five minutes later, however, she had forgotten that entire exchange, and was back doing exactly what she had been warned not to do. When her dad saw what she was doing, he said, "What did I tell you was gonna happen if you did that again?" It all came back to her then, & she replied, "Oh yeah!!! I forgot!!" You see, she just needed a little reminder, and her dad obliged. That was several years ago, and Mandi has grown into a beautiful young woman with a child of her own. I wish all of you could see what a terrific young lady she has become, then you'd see proof that those reminders work. She was a child, and children need constant reminders, but to be honest, things don't change that much when we grow up. How often does your preacher say something you've never heard before? Unless you're completely new to the church scene, probably not too often, yet we leave feeling refreshed because we've been reminded about some things we actually already knew, but just haven't thought about in a while. Let's face facts: If he tells us something one time, and then never mentions it again, we'll soon forget all about it. Also, when we hear something over and over, we begin to grasp its importance, and it becomes a part of who we are. On August 26, 1972, our wedding day, I told my wife I love her. I've told her the same thing every day since then as well, but I really don't think she gets tired of hearing it. If I had only told her that one time, however, by now she would've concluded I didn't actually mean it when I said it. Maybe we get an indication of how important words are by how often we hear them. How often do we see speed limit signs along the interstate? My monthly car note never changes, yet they send me a reminder every month. How many times does your child tell you he wants candy when you're at the grocery store? In this past election season, how many times did you hear each candidate reminding you to get out and vote on November 4th? Why did the widow receive her request from the unjust judge? According to him, he granted her petition "lest she weary me." Are my words in this article pioneering any new territory? Of course not. Other than the scene I witnessed and described to you about my friend and his dialog with his young daughter, you already knew everything I told you. You've heard it all before....numerous times. I'm just reminding you, and reminders work. Don't be surprised if I mention this again. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLI

Some folks say they don't exist, but I promise I saw one with my own eyes yesterday in West Monroe. Of course the ones who are saying that would argue that I just proved their point. Now try to follow me here, because this gets complicated, since if we really give this whole scenario some thought, neither argument really makes sense, yet both sides have merit. I say the fact that I actually SAW one proves their existence. The other side then says that the fact that I actually SAW one is proof that they DON'T exist. Huh? I guess if I told you who I'm talking about, you'd begin to understand why this is such a complicated issue. Okay, here goes: This argument is about INVISIBLE PEOPLE. Maybe if we compare the difference between the way I define the term and the most commonly used definition, we will understand both arguments. You see, most people would say "invisible people" are those who cannot be seen, but my definition is they are people who simply AREN'T seen. Well, since this is my column, and I'm the one writing it, we'll go with my definition today, especially since it helps support the point I want to make. I've often thought how neat it would be to be invisible. It would be easy to find out what other people are saying about me behind my back, but I would have to always keep in mind that even though I was invisible, my feet would still make indentions in the carpet. However, if we go by my definition, being invisible is not a pleasant experience. My favorite restaurant chain in Arkansas is Dixie Cafe. Not long ago I walked into one of their locations, and they had two teenagers serving as host and hostess, a boy and a girl. They were so enamored with each other and were so deep in conversation, they paid no attention to me when I walked in, even though both of them looked directly at me. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally became frustrated and asked, "Am I invisible?" If I would've said nothing, like most invisible people do, I could have turned and walked out and nobody would've ever known I was there. Thankfully, I have the type personality that makes sure I get noticed, but so many people, for whatever reason, don't have that trait. As I look back over my life, I have to admit there are quite a few people who have come and gone, and I didn't even notice when they left....until it was too late. Occasionally either Angie or I will mention something like, "You know, I haven't seen Greg and Penny Kramer in a while." Then the other of us will say, "You 're right! I haven't either." We then feel bad that we let someone slip away and we didn't even notice they were gone. I have to wonder, if we feel bad about it, how must Greg and Penny feel? If I stop showing up to run in the mornings, stop going to church, discontinue making it to our Community Group meetings, etc., I would hope someone would notice, but not everyone has the type personality that attracts attention to themselves the way I do. If that's the case, it's up to those of us who are more "visible" to make them feel like they are just as much a part of the group as we are. Like I told you earlier, I saw one of those "invisible people" yesterday, and I made a point to stop and make conversation. It's important for me to realize not everyone has my outgoing personality, and people like that can easily "slip through the cracks." Lord, please give me a heart for those people, because after a few frustrating minutes in a restaurant, I discovered that being invisible is not fun. We visible people need to always be on the lookout for those who are invisible. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDL

It's not the first question you ask during a job interview, but I'll bet it's one of the first ones you think about: "How much does this job pay?" If they don't pay as much as we want, chances are, we're not too interested. However, there's another question we should be asking, especially if it's a higher paying job: "Why are you willing to pay that kind of money?" Think about it. Let's say their starting salary is $80,000. Successful companies don't just casually add $80,000 per year to their expenses unless we can either earn or save the company significantly more than that amount. If it's an easy job that just about anyone can handle, we can rest assured the starting salary will be as low as they can get away with. Let's face facts....the higher the pay, the more the company will expect of us, the more headaches we'll have to deal with, the more skill will be required to handle the job, and, really, the harder the work. That's not just a philosophy I made up, it's a life principle that has been true down through the ages. In fact, it's even scriptural..."To whom much is given, much is required." (Luke 12:48) The way I interpret that is if I spend my life as a lazy individual who is always looking for the easy road, my reward will reflect it; but if I work hard and continuously look for ways to benefit society, my reward will bear that out as well. Usually, in the workplace, the work must be performed BEFORE any compensation is received, but often in life, we're paid in advance. Let me explain. I often think about how fortunate and blessed I am and have been all my life. I look at the home I was born into, with parents who instilled into me a love for my Creator, and also a thirst for more knowledge about Him. When I think about my wife and kids, my education, my job, my friends, my church, my health, and my overall outlook on life, I have to ask, "Why was God willing to make that kind of investment in me?" Not only did He invest that much into me, but He paid me in advance!! God must really trust me since He has poured so much into my life. I've been given so much, and "...to whom much is given, much is required." I am in no way implying that I have to earn my salvation through hard work. That price has already been paid, and it wasn't by me, but I feel that as greatly as I have been blessed, it is my duty to see just how much I can bless others. If I just sit back on my haunches and attempt to live life on "Easy Street," I feel that I am shirking my duty, and not living up to the trust God has placed in me. When I look at my life, it's obvious I've been given so much, and now, I have it from a very reliable source, there's a whole lot required of me. It's time to get busy! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLIX

Okay, let's sit back, take a deep breath, and put this whole situation into perspective. Population of the United States: 318,924,000 Yearly US heart related deaths: 600,000 Yearly US deaths in auto accidents: 30,000 Ebola related deaths in the US: 1 In no way am I making light of the danger of Ebola, but I don't understand why there is so much panic in our country over this disease. Well, maybe I DO understand.....we're allowing all the hype from the news media to affect our thinking. When anyone drives as many miles per year as I do, we will occasionally see horrific auto accidents, and though it disturbs me for a while, I must admit that by the time I get home that night, I have basically forgotten about it. The lives of family and friends of the victims are forever altered, but for the rest of us, we don't give it much thought after a day or two. Yet we panic over Ebola, even though the number of automobile accident deaths are more than 30,000 times the number of Ebola related deaths. Each one of us can name someone with whom we're well acquainted who has succumbed to heart disease, yet we go on living as before, continuing our high heart risk lifestyles. We've all seen tragic car wrecks, yet we make no changes to our risky driving habits, possibly even texting about it while driving. Then we hear about only four people in our country who either have, or have had, Ebola, out of a population of almost 319 million, and we panic. A few years ago our big concern was HIV, but we don't think too much about that any more, even though it's still as dangerous as before. Why is that? It has to do with where the news media chooses to put their focus. Are we that gullible? Maybe we are. If a major bridge would collapse next week, we would soon forget about Ebola and start worrying about crossing bridges. I guess it tells us something about human nature, but it's a part of our nature I'd like to see change. Oh well, I suppose we always need SOMETHING to worry about. Preston Sent from my iPad

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVIII

Two words. Both extremely powerful. They sound so much alike, yet their meanings are exact opposites. They describe character traits. One is prevalent, and the other is rare. One of them is the root of the majority of the world's problems, while the other, if practiced, would solve all those problems. Two words: Selfishness and Selflessness. Selfishness: Putting my needs and desires ahead of the needs and desires of others Selflessness: Putting the needs and desires of others ahead of my own Name a sin and see if you can determine where it came from. Chances are, selfishness is the source. I'll name a few of them, and I have no doubt, if you give it just a little thought, you can name just as many more. Greed. Jealousy. Theft. Bad attitude. Conceit. Envy. Strife. Lies. Coveting. Cheating. Gluttony. Murder. Disobedience. Road rage. Anger. Even adultery. All those and many more can be traced back to one word: Selfishness. Why do people try to break up in line? Why do we have aggressive drivers? Why do we constantly try to get something for nothing? Why do we get mad when things don't go our way? It all goes back to an "it's all about me" attitude, which is the main trait of a selfish person. Where is the honor in selfishness? Have you ever heard a politician campaign on his selfishness? How many parents have you ever heard telling their kids they need to become more selfish? Have you ever heard a eulogy where the minister praised the deceased for his selfishness? I HAVE heard people praised for their "selflessness." As a matter of fact, I don't recall ever hearing anyone commenting on someone else's selflessness in a derogatory manner. Selflessness is a trait we always admire in someone else, yet too often we don't want to practice it in our own lives. Between the selfish man and the selfless man, which one: *Is easiest to get along with? *Has the most friends? *Sleeps better at night? *Has the purest motives? *Feels better about himself? *Is overall a happier person? *Has the brightest future? The answers are obvious, so why do we have such a hard time becoming selfless individuals? Maybe our culture teaches us to be selfish. Maybe we don't trust the facts I just mentioned to work in our lives. Whatever the reason, selfishness will destroy our society, but selflessness will heal it. The selfless man has an "it's not about me" attitude, but when I practice selflessness, who benefits most? Me. That's reason enough to become a selfless man, isn't it? Or would that be selfish? Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLI

We humans are strange creatures! Especially those of us who call ourselves Christians. We talk, and even complain, about all the troubles and heartaches we have to endure on a daily basis. Our neighbors mistreat us, our family members let us down, our bodies have something hurting most all of the time, and from time to time we have to endure the anguish and grief of losing someone we love. We get frustrated when it appears that wicked people seem to be the ones who are prospering. We live in such constant fear of our fellow man that we basically keep our homes and vehicles locked at all times. It's what we call "life." There's another part of this "life," however, that keeps us going. It's the hope of what we call the "afterlife." We refer to it as Heaven. It's a place where there's no such thing as trouble and heartache. It's a place where everyone loves everyone else, and every person there will treat us with dignity and respect. We'll never have to worry about losing a loved one, because death doesn't exist there. In fact, we say we have friends and family who are actually living there already. We'll always be happy and never experience sadness. "Life" there will be infinitely better than "life" here. So......if all I've said is true, why do we want to put off going to Heaven for as long as possible? Does going to Heaven have a downside? Do we prefer this life of trouble and heartache over that life of eternal bliss? I'm sure all of us would say we believe in Heaven, but could there still be just a smidgen of doubt in our minds about its existence? Or could it be that we believe, but we're just not completely confident that we'll be going there? And while we're on that topic, if we say we believe Heaven is a place where all who live a life pleasing to God will spend eternity, why do we sometimes take chances by committing acts that are not pleasing to God? Here's my theory: We were born as sinful creatures which gives us a natural tendency to commit sinful acts, and regardless of our good intentions, we're all going to mess up sometimes. (Thankfully, God understands that.) In addition to being born into sin, we're also born with a natural self-preservation mechanism that makes us want to hang on to this life for as long as possible. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that all of us want to go to Heaven, but none of us wants to go today. We humans are strange creatures! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLIII

My brother in law made a mistake, and it caused what he had to do to be a much more difficult task. His idea was great, though. He was thinking since his home is surrounded by significant acreage of pastureland, he should get a calf, feed it and let it graze in his pasture for a couple years, then slaughter it and fill his freezer with fresh beef. It was a smart move, except for one small detail: He gave his calf a name. He admitted to me that he shouldn't have done that, even though he named it Ribeye, because there's something about a name that makes it become much more personal. I remember one episode of "The Andy Griffith Show" when all the guys of Mayberry were were trying to catch a certain big, elusive fish that everyone referred to as Ole Sam. Then one day, on his first fishing trip, Howard Sprague caught him. At first they were all excited, but then the excitement turn to sadness when they all realized Ole Sam was gone. There was just something about the fact that he was a creature for which everyone had a fondness, and even called him by name, that made it personal. It was a relief to everyone in town when they found out Howard had thrown him back. In reading a book I've mentioned to you before, "Love Does," by Bob Goff, I was reminded of these stories, and I would like to share the idea that came to me from reading one particular chapter in his book. For some reason, we humans are sometimes quick to make derogatory remarks, and even poke fun of people who are different from us. We do it with people of different races, homosexuals, those who are extremely obese, folks from other religions, special needs people, etc. We make comments without stopping to consider how hurtful our careless words can be to those individuals. Here's the idea: We should try to become friends with at least one person from each of these groups. That should not be too difficult when we consider our coworkers, neighbors, the employees at the super market, and fellow church members. Then, when we want to make snide remarks about any of those groups, include the name of our friend from that group in our comments. For example, if we have a friend named Lucy Smith, who is obese, we should include her name every time we make fun of people with obesity issues. That makes it personal. As a matter of fact, why don't we try one more thing when we do that. If I want to make what could be a hurtful remark about those who are obese, not only should I include Lucy Smith's name, but I should also tell Lucy what I said. If I'm not comfortable telling her what I said, maybe I shouldn't say it at all. Do you catch my drift? There's just something about adding the name of a real person, someone we might could even call a friend, that makes it personal, and might even help us in breaking the habit of being so judgmental of those who are different from us. After all, when we stop to think about it, we're different from them as well, and they have just as much right to make fun of us as we have to make fun of them. If we feel we just have to be critical, let's name our criticism after a friend. That should make slaughtering their character a much more difficult task. Preston Sent from my iPad

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLII

No doubt there's no one else on earth who knows more about my wife than I do. It makes sense that after more than forty years of marriage, no other person could even come close to knowing about her the way I do. We talk to each other daily, 365 days a year. When I speak, she listens. When she speaks, I listen. We go places together. We have meals together. We take walks together. We trust each other. If something I do displeases her, she lets me know. I do the same with her. By the same token, when either one of us does something that pleases the other, we express our gratitude to one another. We know each other so well, we've become experts at interpreting the other's body language, and sometimes we can even discern what the other one is thinking. We went through a period, before marriage, when we said we were engaged. But now, after several decades of being husband and wife, we are truly engaged. Yes, you can say we have a thorough and intimate knowledge of each other. There's another way I could've done it, however, without going through all the actions I just mentioned. I could have studied her. Here's how I would've done it: Now that we have social media, I would have befriended her on Facebook and Instagram, and I would read everything she posts. I would also be sure to listen closely to anything anyone had to say about her. I would find out where she lives so I could pass by a couple times a week, maybe even getting a glimpse of her from time to time. I would learn about all her habits. I think I could become enough of an expert on her, I could even teach a class about her. I would call it an "Angie Study." However, even with all the time and effort I would put in to learn more about her, I still wouldn't know as much about her as I do with the actual interaction with her that I've been engaged in for more than four decades. You see, more than proclaiming ourselves to be experts and bragging about our knowledge of each other, we're actually involved. Instead of me knowing about her habits, we form habits together. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with an "Angie Study," but doesn't the method I discussed in the first paragraph seem like best way to learn all there is to know about her? It almost makes the method of merely "studying" her, like I described in the second paragraph, seem a little ridiculous, except for the fact that we so often follow that procedure when it comes to knowing about God. Sometimes I wonder if we are guilty of knowing about God, without ever reaching the level of simply knowing Him. To know Him, there has to be frequent interaction. We have to walk together. We talk....and listen...to each other, every single day of the year. When I'm hurting, I let Him know. When He pleases me, I tell Him. We trust each other. Now don't get me wrong....I'm not condemning studying about Him. I love a good Bible Study. All I'm saying is, even if I somehow memorized the entire Bible, I could still never know as much about Him as I do when I actually KNOW Him. Knowing Him and knowing about Him are not one and the same. Knowing about Him doesn't require intimacy. Knowing Him does. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLI

One morning, back in my teenage years when I was a hunter, I shot at a duck flying overhead. I missed its body, but I hit one of its wings. The poor duck tried desperately to continue flying, but with only one wing, it was impossible, and it went into a downward spiral, crashing to the ground not far from where I was standing. You see, if any kind of bird only has a right wing, or a left wing, it cannot fly straight and will spiral to its doom, just like the duck I was telling you about. (There's probably a political lesson in that story, but that's not my primary focus for today.) If you look closely at a bird, you will notice there's a wing on each side of its body, and both of them are exactly the same size. That gives it the balance it needs to fly straight and to control its path. If one wing was larger or more powerful than the other, it would only be able to fly in circles and would never arrive at its desired destination. Therefore, when you see any "fowl of the air" flying overhead, you can rest assured its right wing and left wing are working together to keep it on a straight path. (I declare, there IS a political lesson there!) Now to my point: I got it from a reliable source (The Holy Bible) that a man who will not work to provide for his family is "worse than an infidel." Therefore, I work. I do it for the money, and the harder (and smarter) I work, the more money I make. Considering that fact, it stands to reason if I work all the time, I can make a maximum amount of money. However, there's a problem with that theory. The more time I spend working, the less time I have for myself and my family. Maybe it's true that I would make more money, but for what? I'm reminded of something my dad said to me one time, "I work to get paid, but if I didn't need to buy things every now and then, I wouldn't have any use for money." (Those of you who knew my dad will recognize that as a typical Harvey Davidson statement.) No matter what age you or me happen to be right now, it's time to consider what we will see when we reach our last day on earth and look back and evaluate our lives. Will the things that seem so important to us now have the same value on that day? I'm not the originator of this statement, but I love its message: "No one has ever said from his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more time at the office.'" I'm typing this message from a hotel room in Texas City, Texas, because I'm here on business. May I never fail to give thanks for my job. Although there are days when I get extremely frustrated with my profession, as a general rule I enjoy my work, though it does require more than a hundred nights a year in a hotel. But the times when I'm happiest are when I'm with my wife, my kids and their spouses, and my grandchildren, and if I sacrifice those times just so I can make an extra buck or two, shame on me. I know it seems weird, but Angie and I drink coffee every night before bedtime. We do that because it's what we want to do. Although we may not do a lot of talking, we'll each sit in a recliner and read most every night when I'm home. Those are the times I love, and if I have any regrets from my deathbed, it will be that I didn't have more nights like that. I don't think it will even be that I'll wish we had taken more trips or bought bigger toys; instead it will be that I didn't spend more quality time relaxing with the ones I love. If I spend all my time working for the almighty dollar, I'm like the duck who only has his right wing. If I spend all my time relaxing with my family, I'm like the duck with only a left wing. Either way leads to a "downward spiral" and a crash at the end. When my last day comes and I reflect on my life, I'll have fewer regrets if I can say "I worked to provide for my family, and I also took the time enjoy life with them." That reminds me of something else my dad used to say when I was getting a little off track: "You'd better straighten up and fly right." It takes both wings to do that. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDL

My dad had a way of making me regret my actions when I had done wrong, but one thing I never, ever doubted.....he loved me as much as he loved himself. He just wanted to make sure I understood that there are consequences for evil deeds. As a result, I was basically a good kid, and at least in my opinion, I turned out to be a quality gentleman as an adult. I will admit that as a small child, the primary reason I was a good little boy is because I wanted to avoid the price that had to be paid when I was bad. Dad's ultimate goal, however, was for that line of thinking to change over time, and his plan worked. Let me explain. As a toddler, I didn't have the mental capacity to to reason things out like an adult, which meant that my real purpose for being good was to avoid the penalty for being bad. My parents knew, though, that eventually I would become an adult and would no longer be subject to their discipline, and if I was still acting strictly in fear of their punitive actions up until that time, all their efforts would have been in vain. They had to somehow instill in me a desire to do right simply because I had a love for righteousness. Otherwise, once they were out of the picture, I would revert back toward evil. There will always be a price to pay for stepping outside the bounds of what's right and lawful, because there will always be those who can only be motivated by fear of penalty. Imagine a world where there were no speeding tickets, because everyone had a desire to drive safely. In that world, due to a lack of crime, there would be no need for prisons, because everyone would be obeying one of the greatest commandments, and loving their neighbors as they love themselves. A sign of maturity is when the fear of punishment is no longer our primary motivating factor. If the main reason I'm serving God is to escape Hell, there's a problem in my relationship with Him, and I'm lacking spiritual maturity. If my only reason for not stealing from my neighbor is to keep from going to jail, it's an indication that I've never developed a love for right living. There's another commandment that tells us if we honor our father and mother, our days will be long on the earth. I can think of no better way to honor them than to live with a love for righteousness the way they taught me. Some of us can be motivated by love while others can only be motivated by fear. I choose love. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLIX

The call I received from my daughter-in-law was the type that made me drop what I was doing and take immediate action. I had just sat down for a quick lunch when the phone rang, and she said, "Can you come with me to take Lake to the ER?" Within twenty seconds I was in my car, heading that direction. What had happened was he was running full speed through the house to take something to the utility room, and when he went through the kitchen, he cut a little too short and hit his head on the bottom corner of the bar. The injury produced a lot of blood, and left a deep gash that required several stitches. It has probably been a couple years since it happened, so Lake was about six at the time. Just like any typical six year old, he didn't want anyone, not even the doctor, touching his head anywhere near the injured area, much less opening it up to take a look at it. He didn't realize that in order for his head to heal and for the pain to go away, someone would have to open and expose the injury, and take the necessary steps to bring healing. I guess it's understandable for a six year old child to react that way, but since you and I are adults, we know better, don't we. Don't we? Well.....do we? When it comes to our physical bodies, maybe we do know better, but I dare say that many of us are carrying around hidden pain and secret injuries that we insist on keeping totally to ourselves, not allowing anyone else to even be aware that we're hurting. I admit that my grandson was probably right not wanting just any and every body to open and view his wound, and the same holds true for the kinds of wounds you and I are hiding, yet we'll never experience true healing if we don't expose these hurts to someone we trust. If we hadn't forced Lake to let us, the nurses, and the doctor take a look at his injury, it would've ended up getting infected and would've only gotten worse. While it's true that there are those who cannot be trusted with the information we're keeping concealed, there are those in whom we CAN trust, and if we think about it, we really know who they are. When the doctor opened Lake's wound, it did cause some temporary pain, but because he endured that short-term discomfort, he is completely healed today. I'm a very private individual....the type of person who doesn't want just anybody knowing my business, but as I age, I'm learning there are times when I have to open up and let someone else become aware of my secrets. It may be hidden pain, insecurities, or even secret guilt that's bothering me, and it will continue to do so until I go through the awkward act of allowing it to be exposed to some other trusted individual.....someone who only has my best interest at heart. Our injuries will only continue to fester until we allow someone else to open them up and take a look. Yes, it's painful to do so, but that short term pain brings permanent healing. Whether or not we want to admit it, there are some problems we can't fix by ourselves. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVIII

One part of our body matures at a slower pace than the rest. A good example of this would be in teenage kids. Their bodies are mature enough to reproduce long before their minds are capable of properly raising kids and being good, effective parents. As I look back over some of the stupid decisions I made in my adolescent years, I realize just how fortunate I am to still be on the planet....and I was one of the good kids. I guess the ideal scenario would be for our minds and our bodies to mature at the same rate, but since the maturation process of our minds comes with wisdom gained by life experiences, we find our minds continuing to mature long after our bodies have begun to decline. Therefore, I have some messages for parents, and for that matter, every adult, whether or not we are parents. The first one is directed toward moms and dads: Parents, forgive your kids. I'm not saying we should remove all consequences from their wrongful acts, because part of the maturation process of our minds is learning firsthand that there is a price to pay for our indiscretions. However, after we are satisfied that their lessons have been learned, it is then time to forgive and forget, no matter what they have done...and that means never bringing it up again. Several years ago, a good friend of mine relayed a personal story to me that goes to the heart of what I'm trying to say. As an immature kid in his early teens, he accidentally shot his younger sister, fatally injuring her. His parents were grief-stricken over the senseless loss of their precious daughter, but they weren't the only ones. So was he. He said even to this day, he still replays that dreadful scene in his mind from time to time, and he is filled with shame and regret. He also told me the only thing that has sustained him is the fact that his parents have forgiven him. Even with all the pain and anger they have experienced, they realized if they didn't completely forgive their son, it would be as if they had lost both their children. Now a message to all adults: We should keep in mind that as grown-up as many of our teenagers look, their brains are running way behind their bodies, and they are going to make some dumb choices. I've often said the best defense my kids had was my memory of my own actions when I was their age. I've been reading a book written by a former secret service agent, and he devoted one chapter to the difficulties he faced in protecting the children of presidents, from Amy Carter, to Chelsea Clinton, to the Bush Twins. One thing was made clear to me in that chapter; they were no different from anyone else's kids when it came to youthful immaturity....it's just a fact of life. It's important that our kids learn that unwise choices lead to undesired consequences, but at the same time they must also be taught how to forgive and forget, and that can only be taught by example. You and I are the teachers. Even at the age of sixty-three, I still mess up and have to ask for forgiveness. How can I expect to be shown forgiveness unless I'm also willing to provide forgiveness? Part of that process is to remember kids are kids....just like we used to be. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVII

Just to be clear, I can't condone what the guy did, because there's never a right time to do the wrong thing.  All I'm saying is I think I understand why he did it.  He was a nice looking young man, a hard worker, a good provider for his family, and he loved spending good quality time with his kids.  One would think any woman would be thrilled to have such a man, but for some reason, his wife just never seemed to be quite satisfied.  Everyone who worked with her in her office had to listen to her daily complaints about her husband.  No, he didn't forget birthdays or anniversaries; she made sure of that.  It's just that the gifts he bought for those occasions never pleased her.  Besides that, he loved to play golf on Saturday mornings.  He was too conservative with their finances.  He liked to go over to his parents' house and check on them at least once a week, and that infuriated her.  Her co-workers heard every detail about it all, until the morning she showed up for work with red, puffy eyes, caused by a night of crying.  He had found someone else and had left her.  Everyone in the office was shocked by her tears, because they thought by the way she was constantly running him down, she would be glad to get rid if him. On a slightly different note, there have been times, especially during some of the more high-stress periods of my career, I've looked with envy at the man hanging on the back of the garbage truck,  mainly because all he had to do every day was go to work and then forget about it when he got off in the afternoons.  Then one day the thought occurred to me that I've never actually envied him on payday.  As a matter of fact, that man would probably trade jobs with me in a heartbeat. Sometimes the restaurant doesn't get our steak exactly the way we like it, and we let them know about it, while there are so many who can't afford to eat there...possibly even some of the employees of the same restaurant.   When we have to work a full day on that last day of work before the long holiday weekend, it puts us in a bad mood because it's so late by the time we can head out of town for a weekend on the lake, yet how many are having to work through the entire weekend?  If my bonus is a little less this year than what I was hoping for, it makes me mad.   At one point in my career, I was a sales rep for a tie company, and they would send me whole ties to show as samples.  At the end of the season, I would have all those ties that were no longer being made, so I would give a few of them to one of my good customers to for his personal use.  Then came the day when the company stopped sending whole ties; instead they sent fabric swatches cut out in the shape of ties.  As a result, I no longer had the ties to give to my customer.  During that transition, I only had one client stop buying my product.....the one I had given the ties to.  The one customer who got mad and left me was the one I had treated best.   Why do we complain about our blessings?  Have you ever gone out of your way to provide something special for your kids and they weren't satisfied with it?  How did it make you feel?  I'm convinced God must feel the same way about us sometimes when He blesses us so abundantly, yet we complain. Has He blessed us so many times that we've come to expect it, and even believe He owes it to us?  I'm reminded of a lesson by my friend, Roy Duffey, about how, if we're not careful, the more we're given, the less grateful we become.  As abundantly as I've been blessed, the last thing I should ever do is complain about those blessings. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVI

The clouds were dense, thick, and hanging low in the atmosphere. My friend, a young, newly licensed pilot, was learning first hand just how dense, thick and low they were, and it was not a comfortable feeling. This was a completely new experience for him, and although he wasn't thinking along these lines at that moment, he was learning an important lesson on the difference between faith and trust. In aviation school he had been through instrument training, but he had always had an experienced instructor along in case something went wrong. Today it was just him and the instruments, and they were telling him it was time to begin his descent as he approached his destination. His instructors had drilled into him a deep faith in those instruments, but now he found himself having to take that faith one step further and turn it into trust.....a scary feeling. What he saw as he looked out his window was....nothing. His visibility was zero. What if those instruments were wrong? If that were the case he would soon be coming in contact with treetops, buildings, power lines, or an infinite number of other possibilities. He resisted the urge to begin climbing again, and instead he kept following his instruments as he continued his slow, steady descent, hopefully toward an airport he could not see. Finally he broke through that low cloud ceiling, and there, directly in front of him was the runway. "Whew!" Those instruments had brought him home! Here's my point: He would not have been flying if he hadn't had faith in those instruments, but when he had to turn his faith into trust, a degree of fear also crept into his mind. Can trust and fear coexist? It certainly did in his case, but he landed safely because he didn't allow the fear to override his trust. My daughter has a new puppy named Fontenot, and he loves her with a love that is completely unconditional. He trusts her with his very life. Sometimes she has to take him to the veterinary clinic to get his shots, and even then, he willingly submits to her will, but that doesn't mean he isn't terrified, which is evidenced by his uncontrollable shaking. I feel certain he will never understand the purpose for those trips to the clinic, yet through it all, his trust in my daughter, his provider, remains stronger than his fear. We are told if we have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, we can move mountains, and I believe it. Lately I've been seeing some posts on Facebook by a young mother who is facing some very serious health issues, and she admits she is terrified out of her mind, yet I've also detected a degree of faith and even trust in her statements. I can't be critical of her for the fact that she's scared, because if and when my doctor ever gives me bad news, I will experience fear. You will too. This is not an argument against the statement that "fear is the absence of faith," since fear moves into the vacancy where faith should be. I'm just saying we have the promise that only a small amount of faith can work wonders. All of us will likely face periods in our lives when we have to turn our faith into trust, and let's face facts....we'll be scared, but that's okay. It's human nature. I like the way John Wayne said it, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." There's no shame in being scared. We just have to make sure the fear doesn't defeat our trust. Preston Sent from my iPad

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLV

He's possessed." It's a phrase we throw around lightly, but what does it really mean? My initial impulse when I think of the word "possess" is to define it as "to own," but the more I think about it, I conclude that it's much more than just ownership. As an example, let's say someone steals my car. Technically I would still OWN the car, but I wouldn't POSSESS it. To possess something, I must not only own it, but I must also have control of it. Therefore if I say "He's possessed," I'm implying that he is "owned" and "controlled" by something or someone. Some people's first reaction when they hear that phrase is to think he's being controlled by some kind of evil spirit, but the possibilities go far beyond that. Let me tell you a little story a friend told me that puts this topic into perspective: He said when he first got out of school and went to work, he saw on the dealer's lot a new truck he felt he couldn't live without. When he found out what the note would be, he knew it would be a struggle, but he could pay it, so he bought it. Then came the insurance bill and the gas bills he forgot to figure into the equation. He said owning that truck put him in such a bind, he only drove it to work and back. The rest of the time he and his truck just stayed home because he couldn't afford to go anywhere else. It then dawned on him that instead of him possessing the truck, the truck possessed him, because it basically controlled his life, and that truck he had wanted so badly became a detestable object in his life. I've known people who were so possessed by the desire to increase their possessions they literally turned control of all their activities over to those desires, even to the point of unethical dealings in pursuit of more and more "stuff." In the end, instead of being the owners, they became the owned. Have you ever known a young lady who became so obsessed with capturing the heart of some certain young man that she basically became his property and was completely owned and controlled by him? A quick note: Whatever is your obsession, you are likely to become its possession. I'm not saying that's always a bad thing, as long as your possessor always has your best interest at heart. Otherwise, it's not good. Bob Dylan wrote a song called "You're Gonna Have to Serve Somebody." Here's the question: Will the one I'm serving, my possessor, control my life with an attitude of greed and selfishness, or will his/her love for me be the motivation? If I am possessed by "things," my life will not be pretty nor happy. Here's my prayer: Dear Lord, please don't let my life be controlled by things or any other person. I only want to be controlled by You. Lord I know that decision has to be mine, so now I'm asking You to take complete possession of my life. Own me. Control me. I want to be Your property, because I know when I relinquish my will to Yours, everything else in my life will fall into its proper place, and happiness will truly be mine. Amen. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLIV

You can count on me! I'll be pulling for my team to win. In fact, the reason Angie and I made the trip to Southwestern Louisiana on Independence Day Weekend was to cheer them on. Some of the best boys baseball teams from several southern states converged on Sulphur, Louisiana for the USSSA World Series, and my eight year old grandson was fortunate enough to play for one of those teams, the West Monroe Sox. They put on a fantastic showing with a series record of five wins and three losses. What an awesome weekend! Before I get to the real point of this week's article, let me take one paragraph to describe the kind of talent we saw on display during that series. Those eight year old boys, and I'm talking about all of them....from every team, were quality players. Each player, from the top of the order to the bottom, was a threat when he stepped up to bat. Defensively, the quality of play from every team was remarkable. It was a weekend of great hitting, catching, throwing, running, sliding, and overall sportsmanship. It's difficult to find words that would adequately describe the improvement we saw in the way our boys performed from their first game of the season to the last. As I spent that weekend with our boys, however, interacting with them both on and off the field, I couldn't help but notice one major thing.....something we all tend to forget while they're actually on the field of play: At the end of the day, when the games are over and it's time to get some food and settle in for the evening, they're still just little boys. Maybe it's the quality of play we see during the games that makes us forget that all important fact. They're scared of the dark. They cry when they hurt their fingers. They fall asleep in the car and have to be carried in to bed by their parents. They still have their "little boy" voices. And most importantly, they hear when derogatory comments are yelled by adult spectators in the stands, and those thoughtless words bring pain to those young impressionable minds. Phrases like, "He can't run!" or "Easy out!" are remembered by those little guys when they lie in their beds at night, and also the next day when it's time to play again. It's fine to cheer your team on....that's why we were down there. It just needs to be done in a positive manner. To be honest, the vast majority of the people attending that event are quality people and wouldn't dream of uttering such hurtful words to players of any team, which means that type of chatter was rare, but it doesn't take much to do its damage. (Also, most of those comments I heard were during games when our boys weren't even playing.) If we want our little boys to grow up to be good sportsmen, it's up to us adults to teach them how by providing them with good examples. It's my hope that every little boy playing any type of sport can look back on those days with pleasant memories. Every word an eight year old hears from a thirty-eight year old should be instructive, encouraging, and loving, regardless of what team he's playing on. Here's hoping every adult gets this message soon. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLIII

Grandma meant well. She was only doing the best she knew with what information she had at the time. For lack of a better term, let me just say she came from a less "enlightened" generation. One thing she could do well, however, was cook, and the memories of those scrumptious biscuits with cane syrup, fresh bacon, eggs and grits are permanently embedded in my brain. The smell of fresh bread baking in the oven permeated the atmosphere for a good quarter mile around her home. Breakfast time and dinner time were moments of great conversation and delicious food. It's just that now we know she was doing it all wrong, but like I said, she can't be blamed. Today we know better, so now we look back and pity Grandma for her ignorance. She didn't have Internet. She never heard of Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. The name "Google" had not even been invented during her time. Besides, she didn't have access to all the books we now have at our disposal. Her education was limited, so she didn't read much anyway....in fact, the only reading she did was The Bible, and she read it every day. It was her only source of information, which may explain her lack of enlightenment. As for us, we have an endless supply of books and blogs coming our way, and all of them are telling us how harmful Grandma's lifestyle was. One book will tell us how deadly her bacon and eggs were to those of us she loved so much. Then the next book comes out and tells us that the bacon and eggs weren't so bad, but, since her bread was made from grain, it was harmful food that would shorten our lives. We are so enlightened today we can keep up with how what's healthy changes from day to day. The foods that were vital for survival yesterday are deadly today, and will likely remain so for at least the next month or so before the situation reverses itself again when the next book comes out. Poor Grandma. All she had to guide her was The Bible, so her cooking styles remained constant down through the years. She had to rely on instructions such as "...what I have called clean, don't call unclean." She also had to depend on the words of Jesus when he said "Give us this day our daily bread." I'm sure she understood He was talking about food in general, but He used the term "bread." It was like He was saying "Give us this day our daily harmful food that will shorten our lives." In fact, He even referred to Himself as the "Bread of Life." Just yesterday I started searching for what people are saying on this topic, and I read a blog by an "enlightened" Christian blogger who said that since our bread is prepared different from the way it was then, those terms should not be taken literally. Maybe that lady should tell Jesus He used a poor choice of words. Grandma is NOT gonna tell Him that, and I'm sticking with Grandma. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLII

I do the hardest part first when I work in my yard. It's what I call "weed-eating." When I get done with that part, I usually take a five-minute break to cool off a little before I get on the mower to finish the job. Sometimes, on the night before (when I think about it), I will put two Gatorades in the refrigerator so they'll be nice and cool for me the next morning. I'll drink one during that five-minute break time and another when my job is complete. I'll often think about those cool, refreshing beverages while I'm in the process of my toiling and sweating in the almost unbearable heat and humidity, and just that thought gives me the perseverance to stay with my task until it's done. Such was the case last week, but as I was thinking about how nice and cool that Gatorade was gonna be, another thought hit me: In some respects, we humans are a lot like that Gatorade. Let me explain. I keep several bottles of Gatorade on a shelf in my garage, and it gets hot in there. As a result, they're hot when I put them into the refrigerator. However, after spending just one night in the refrigerator, they're nice and cool for me when it's time to drink them. Why is that? It's because they adapt to the environment they're in, and it doesn't take them long. You see, last week I forgot about them the night before, and I didn't put them into the refrigerator until just before I started working. The first one I drank, during my five-minute break period, was cooler than it had been when I put it in the refrigerator, but it wasn't quite the way I like them. The second one, the one I drank at the end of my job, however, was just what the doctor ordered. We're the same way. When we find ourselves in a new environment, we will almost immediately begin to adapt. I have some relatives who grew up in the south, but when they became adults and started working, they moved to one of the northern states. When I saw them about a year later, they had already started to lose their southern accent and were sounding more like "Yankees." I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that; I'm just using that story as an example. Here's a similar example with a more negative result: I detest profanity, especially in the workplace. It's unprofessional. One day, however, after working a couple weeks with some "potty-mouth" co-workers, I was talking with a client and one of those ugly words slipped out of my own mouth. I felt humiliated and I apologized, but it just goes to show you how I was already beginning to adapt to my environment, even to the point of becoming the type of person I DO NOT want to be. Whether or not I want to admit it, I become like the people by whom I'm surrounded, and often times just who they are is my choice. It can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing. A couple weeks ago Angie and I went out to eat with a group of friends from church, and on the way home I said, "Those are the kind of people I like hanging out with." On Saturdays, after our weekly "long run," I will have breakfast with other members of our running group.... health-minded friends who are a positive influence. No matter how strong or tough we think we are, we change to fit our environment. You see, you and I are like those Gatorades....we get cold when we spend the night in a refrigerator. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLI

I've heard people talk about the effects peanut allergies can have on an individual, but I'm not aware of any of my acquaintances who actually have to deal with that malady. If I did know someone like that, however, it would be cruel of me to try to tempt that person with any type of food that may contain peanuts. Surely no rational thinking person would knowingly commit such a deed. It would be criminal. I heard one man, who was lactose intolerant, say that he had friends who would tempt him with ice cream. What were they thinking? From what I've heard, it's fairly common for recovering alcoholics to be offered drinks from thoughtless friends. To me, none of that makes sense. It would be like asking that person to drink poison. For those of us who are fortunate enough to not be affected by peanut allergies, lactose intolerance, or alcoholism, we can partake of any of those items without giving it a second thought, and hopefully if I choose to eat peanuts when I'm dining at Logan's, it will not offend the person who has peanut allergies. In fact, I often commit a double whammy...I like to drink milk with my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I can consume it without guilt, because it doesn't harm me. Therefore, the same things that may be okay for me may actually be harmful to others. That leads to the point I want to make. Do you know what I'm talking about when I use the term "personal convictions?" They are standards, or guidelines, used by individuals to help them govern their lives and keep on target for certain goals they may have set for themselves. These convictions may not be about anything unethical or even sinful...they're simply rules that a person sets for himself, and no two individuals will have the same set of convictions. Some examples of what I'm talking about may be certain types of clothing some people may choose not to wear, foods or beverages they choose to not consume, or maybe even certain types of music they choose to avoid, etc. It would be good if each of us would have a list of personal convictions to help us stay on track. There is an unwritten "code of ethics," however, that should be followed when dealing with personal standards. If I have a set of these convictions for myself, I must not try to impose them on you or anyone else. What's wrong for me may not be wrong for you. By the same token, if you have your personal convictions, in no way should I try to persuade you to change or violate any of them. I must respect you for your stand and realize you have your set of standards for a reason, even if I don't know what that reason may be. The same rules that apply to peanut allergies, lactose intolerance, and alcoholism should also be followed with personal convictions. Let's make a deal: I won't try to impose any of my personal convictions on you if you won't pressure me to change or relax any of them for myself, and vice versa. If we break this deal, it could be poisonous for us both. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXXIX

I'm an artist. So are you. Whatever we do, when others can see us, we're painting a picture for those who may be observing us at that moment, and it may not look at all how we want others to see it. To better explain what I mean, I will give you four short examples.....true stories others have told me as well as one I experienced myself. A man in New York was on the subway headed home from work. He was tired and wasn't in the mood for any kind of disturbance. Everything seemed to be going as he wished until at one stop a man and his three small children boarded the car he was riding. Almost immediately, the kids were climbing the walls while the dad just stared ahead, seemingly oblivious to the commotion caused by his offspring. Finally, the tired worker could take it no longer, so he complained to the dad, "Sir, your children are out of control." The dad looked up and replied, "Oh! Yes....I guess they are." He then explained, "We're on our way home from the hospital where their mother just died, and and they don't know how to deal with it. To be honest, I don't either. I'm not sure what we're gonna do." The worker's attitude changed instantly, but what about the other passengers in that car who didn't hear the conversation? As sad as that story is, the only thing they saw was a group of out of control kids and a dad who was doing nothing about it. We can't blame them for their frustration. A lady from my church told this next story. She said one of her pet peeves is when shoppers in the super market ignore the twenty item limit in the express check-out lane and attempt to go through that line with a cart full of groceries. A few weeks ago she had her own cart full, and she made her way to the appropriate check-out lane. The next lane over was the express check-out, and no one was in it. The express lane cashier said to her, "Come on over to my lane and I'll check you out." She replied, "I have more than twenty items." The checker then said, "It's okay. There's no one here anyway." So she moved. As soon as the cashier started scanning her items, a man walked up behind her with only two items, and it was obvious he was frustrated. He had a right to be disgusted, but my friend cannot be blamed for her actions either. She was doing nothing wrong, but the picture she was painting was that of a woman who was abusing the express lane twenty item policy, and the man with two items had a right to be disgruntled. A woman was planning a surprise fiftieth birthday party for her husband, and she wanted to rent a ballroom in a local hotel, so she made arrangements to go with the party planner to check it out before paying the deposit. It just so happened, however, that her husband passed that hotel at the same time, and what he saw was his wife walking into a hotel with another man. She was attempting to do something good, but the picture her husband saw was anything but good, and it's easy to understand why he would be upset. One more: Angie and I went to a restaurant one night with a group of friends, and I had to go to the restroom while we were there. I noticed there was someone in the stall right next to the urinal, and while I was washing my hands just before I exited, I heard the flush in the stall and a restaurant employee walked past me without stopping to wash his hands. I walked out just in time to see him walking back into the kitchen. I feel certain there's a sink in the kitchen he could use to wash his hands, but I have no way of knowing if he actually used it, so let's just give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he did. The restaurant could claim that since the employee followed company procedure, I have no legitimate complaint. However, the picture I saw was an employee ignoring the rules of proper hygiene, so whether he did or didn't wash his hands, can you understand why I'll never eat there again? My point is this: You and I can be on opposite sides of an issue, yet neither of us are really in the wrong. Both sides can have legitimate gripes about the other, and even present good arguments for each side of the issue and both of us be right. Our arguments are over superficial things, and it's all due to the pictures we've painted. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXXVI

I think it was back in '94 when I came up with my brilliant idea....we should put together a "couples trip" for the married couples in our church. It worked the way it was supposed to, I guess, with me being the one in charge of organizing it and putting it together, since the whole thing was my idea. We ended up with twenty-seven couples (fifty-four people) making the trip, and as far as I know, everyone had a great time. Well......almost everyone. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, but planning two days and nights worth of activities and then making them happen requires a lot of work, so while most everyone else was having a good time, I was busy making sure we were ready for the next event. Someone had to do some work so all the others could have all the fun, and on that trip, I was that person. Every year around Thanksgiving time, we have a big family get-together at my sister's house. It's for my siblings and me, along with all our kids and grandchildren...a whole bunch of us. My brother in law always gets up before daylight and begins the work of roasting a hog for us to eat for our afternoon meal, and that's a job he has to stay with until meal time. While it's true that there's almost always someone out there with him, most of the activity is taking place either in or around the house, but he's so busy he has to miss out on everything but the roasting. Angie loves to cook for the family, a job she can handle with considerable skill. The trouble is, we can't all fit in the kitchen, so the family room is the place where all the good conversation is taking place, but she doesn't get to participate in much of it. Afterward, someone will mention something about something that was said earlier, and she doesn't know what we're talking about because she was in the kitchen when that subject was discussed. Whatever big activity is taking place, someone has to be responsible for making it happen, and that person has to miss out on much of the fun. It's not fair, but that's the way it is. It's not practical to always rent a building and hire a caterer, and when you do, you lose the atmosphere of home. Why don't you and I try to come up with a viable answer to this dilemma. I have no doubt there's a solution to the problem......I just don't know what it is. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXXVII

He had to attend an extremely important meeting in a city that was about a four hour drive from his home. Since missing that meeting was not even an option, what he should've done was to have made the trip the afternoon before, but he had chosen to get up very early the day of the meeting and make the drive in the pre-dawn hours. (The setting of this story is in the 1960s, so it was well before the days of cell phones.) As luck would have it, he blew a tire about 5:30 am, somewhere way out in the country. As soon as he opened his trunk to retrieve the spare tire, he remembered that he had used the jack a couple days earlier on a project at his house and had failed to put it back in his car. "Now what do I do?" he wondered. He recalled seeing a house no more than a half mile back, so he decided to walk back there to see if they would loan him a jack. When he started walking, he began to think about the fact that there were no lights on in the house when he passed, which meant the occupants were probably still asleep. Naturally, hearing a knock on the door before daylight would alarm them. Would they even answer the door? If they did, would he find himself staring down the barrel of a shotgun? They might be so angry at being aroused from their sleep they would want revenge. The more he walked toward the house, the more he imagined every possible scenario that could play out when he arrived. When he finally found himself at the front door, his mind was in the process of playing out a possible conversation with an inhabitant who was so mad, he was refusing to loan him the jack. He knocked and waited, while his mind was still whirling. Eventually, the door opened, and a man said, "What can I do for you?" The traveler, whose mind was still in the "imagining" stage replied, "Well, it's your jack, so you can just take it and stuff it!" He immediately realized how foolish he had sounded, so he quickly corrected his tone as well as words. As it turned out, not only did the owner of the house loan him his jack, but he also drove him back to his car and helped him change the tire. My dad read that story in a magazine, and told me about it when I was just a kid. Although it turned out to be a little humorous near the end, it's gives us a good picture of human nature. Have you ever let your mind take you through some dreadful scenes of an event before it ever happened? I am so guilty!! Let's say your boss calls and leaves you a message to call him back as soon as possible. Here are a few of the scenes that play out in our minds before we call him back: "Maybe he's gonna fire me. Or he might have found out what I told that customer who was so rude to me. I just know he's gonna make me work next weekend, and he is well aware we have plans." Why do we do that? We have a tendency to worry ourselves sick over events that have not yet happened, and will likely never happen. I realize fixing that problem is easier said than done, but self-improvement is never an easy task. If unpleasant scenes take place in our minds, the effect they can have on us can be almost as bad as if they had really happened, yet it's totally unnecessary. If something bad really happens, we can deal with it then, but there's no reason to live it out in our minds before it occurs, because in most instances, it never actually comes to pass; and if it does, it's usually not as bad as we imagined. Besides, if we imagine it, and then it actually happens, we have to live through it twice. After all, the boss just needs you to go by the post office and pick up some stamps on your way to work. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXV

  A few days ago a young lady posted something on Facebook that rubbed me the wrong way. Naturally, my initial instinct was to come back with a response that would set her straight and leave no doubt in anyone's mind as to where I stood on that situation, so I picked up my iPad and began my rant. A couple sentences later, however, I stopped and asked myself, "What are you doing?"  I quickly erased the words I had just written so I could give myself enough time to more carefully consider exactly what I wanted to say and how to say it.  As I sat there thinking, another question came to my mind, "What will this accomplish?"  Thankfully  it was at that moment when sound reasoning took over my mind and a cooler head prevailed. If I had answered my question with, "It would accomplish nothing," that would not have been a true statement, because something would have been accomplished.  The first thing I would've accomplished is hurting that young lady's feelings. Secondly, it would likely have set off a public dispute on social media that I would not have wanted to be a part of.  Now that more water has gone under the bridge and a few days have passed, I no longer have the desire to weigh in and sound off, although I still don't like what she said. You, me, and everyone else have moments in our lives when something will set us off and cause us to temporarily lose our temper, and that threshold is different for each of us.  As a general rule, I'm pretty good about keeping my temper in check, but on occasion, there are times when something will pull my trigger and cause a temper flare-up, and I say things that would be better left unsaid.  In most cases, within a short period of time after that happens, I will end up feeling totally ashamed of myself. That doesn't mean I become okay with the event that brought on my outburst, it's just that I have time to realize that explosive tempers rarely result in desired solutions to the situation. One day I was on my way to an appointment at Prien Lake Mall in Lake Charles, Louisiana, and I was in a hurry.  I passed a kiosk where an aggressive young salesman was flagging down shoppers so he could pitch his products. When I walked by in my typical mall fast-walk, he approached me and said, "Sir, may I have five seconds of your time?"  I stopped and said, "Five seconds."  He began showing his product and five seconds later I said, "Time's up" and walked on.  It was only a couple minutes later that I said to myself, "Preston, you're a jerk."  Even now, months later, I still have no interest in what he was trying to sell, and I don't like his sales tactics, but I do regret that I wasn't nicer and didn't handle it in a more diplomatic manner.  Fortunately, moments like that for me are more the exception than the rule, but when they happen, I still begin to regret them almost immediately. A moment of anger can destroy a lifetime of peace when we don't stop and let some time pass before we jump in and sound off.  The young man in the mall was someone I'll likely never see again, but there are times when friendships can be destroyed by momentary temper flare-ups.  Regarding the young lady who made the offensive post on Facebook and the man in the mall, most of us are less likely to mix it up with someone when our responses are written and it takes time to form our words.  It's those verbal rants that are more likely to get us in trouble.  Yes, there are times when something needs to be said, but in most situations, we'll be happier with the outcome when we think before we speak.  I don't mind saying "I'm sorry for what I said," but I prefer situations where no apology is needed. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXIV-Rewrite

Today is a day for brutal honesty. I live a double life. By that I mean the part of me the public sees is not the real me. I guess you could say I'm an actor. I walk with my head up, looking straight ahead; the picture of confidence, courage, security, holiness....like a man who is comfortable in his own skin. That's my act, but it's not really who I am. The real me is almost the exact opposite of the character I portray. The trouble is, like practically all other actors, I can't stay in character every minute of every day, and when I do slip out of character and the real me is exposed, it gets ugly. Those who are just occasionally in my presence only see the man I pretend to be, but those few who are around me more often, do at times, see me as I am, and for that, I apologize. Let's take a look at a couple of the characteristics I portray and see how they compare with the real Preston. First we'll discuss "the picture of confidence." I only wish the real me was like that. Here's what I'm really like in that respect: No matter who I'm with, I never feel like I quite measure up to the person they expect of me. In reality, maybe I do, but I never feel like I do. Sometimes I actually wonder how other people can like me or want to be around me. I'm constantly amazed at how I ended up with the wife who was made for me, because I was never confident enough to even ask a girl for a date. Seriously! I was too afraid of rejection. Fortunately, the only girl I could work up the courage to ask out became my wife. Those features don't describe a confident person. The other comparison I want to make is "the picture of holiness." I am a flawed individual! I do my best to live the life that I know God wants me to live, but I fall so short. I sometimes compare my "holiness act" with what's known as the "Little Man Syndrome,".....you know, when a man of small stature overplays his toughness act in an attempt to cover his insecurity of being so small. When it comes to holiness, I'm a dwarf, and as a result, I may have a tendency to overplay my holiness act. In fact, it has just recently occurred to me that I may overact so much that I might even be viewed by some as self righteous or having a "holier than thou" attitude. If they only knew the truth!! I'm so thankful for grace!!! I'm not sure why, but for some reason it seems like I've been slipping out of character and exposing the real me a little too often here lately, and when I do, it actually shrinks my confidence level and makes me become a man who's even less "comfortable in his own skin." The man I portray is the man I'm striving to become, but I have so very far to go to get there. I do find it somewhat encouraging, however, when I realize I'm not the only person facing the same issues. For those of you who do occasionally see me slip out of character, I ask you to please be patient and don't give up on me. But for now, it's time for me to put on my costume again....I have an act to perform. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXIV

The philosophy that says "I don't care what others think about me" is completely foreign to me, so lest there be any doubt, your opinion of me is something I DO CARE about. That's the reason I was so taken aback just a few days ago when I got a little dose of reality. It dawned on me that I've been giving forth vibes that cause others to have a false impression of what I really believe. If my actions cause others to form an opinion of me that's different from who I actually am, something needs to change. You and I each have our own set of personal standards we use to guide us in conducting our personal lives. In many ways, your standards will be similar to mine, but in just as many ways, they will be different. That does not mean one set is superior to the other, although, as humans, we may have a tendency to be critical of those who don't live by our set of standards. Living lives that are morally and ethically pure should top all our lists of standards, but otherwise, what's right for you may not be the same as what's right for me. Trouble starts when I try to impose my standards on you. I hope I'm not doing that, but somehow, I have apparently been giving the impression that I do. If my actions make you believe I'm uncomfortable in your presence as you live by your set of standards, I need to step back and re-examine how I act when I'm around you, because if I make you believe I'm uncomfortable in your presence, you WILL BE uncomfortable in my presence, and that's not how I want to live. This does not mean I have to change my standards when I'm with you, nor should you alter yours when you're with me. We should be able to co-exist without being forced to live identical lives. I have always believed we should all live a disciplined lifestyle, which means that none of us should have a haphazard way of conducting ourselves. Keeping myself in check, however, is a full time job, which means you're on your own when it comes to living your life. I'm a flawed individual, and so are you. The trouble is, the mistakes I make are not the same as yours, so if I overlook my own faults as I focus on yours, I'm doing both of us a disservice, and if I even give the impression that I have a "holier than thou" or a self righteous attitude, I'm not being the kind of Christian I want to be. Maybe that's where I've been. If so, shame on me. If you just knew how I really feel, I believe your opinion of me would change...for the better. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXIII

First I'll tell you what happened, then I'd like to list some of my own observations about the entire episode. A couple weeks ago I was out of town on business. I had a room on the first floor of the hotel, and I had gone to bed about 9:30, my usual time. As a frequent traveler, I typically get some of my best sleep in hotels, and this night was no exception....at least for the first twenty minutes or so. When events started to unfold, I was in a deep sleep, dreaming about trying to help my Uncle Tab (whoever he is) install a helicopter propeller on his laptop computer. At the same time that dream was occurring, however, some very real events were happening right outside my hotel window, less than fifteen feet from where I was in my state of slumber, completely oblivious to the world outside. Two young working men from Joplin, Missouri had just parked their truck in the back parking lot at the hotel, so they were eye witnesses, and later relayed to me everything that transpired before I, too, became a witness. A young male guest at the hotel was having a difference of opinion with a young female, and they ended up carrying their dispute into the back parking lot. She got in her car to leave, and he jumped into his small pickup truck and blocked her way, preventing her from leaving. She wasn't giving up, but each time she would move her car, he quickly maneuvered his truck around to block her. At one point she thought she saw an opening, and she gunned it, just as he pulled in behind her, resulting in her crashing into the side of his vehicle. This was her chance, or so she thought. Just as she started moving again, he put the pedal to the metal and slammed into the side of her car. (Just a few feet away, Uncle Tab and I were still frantically working on that propeller. I'm a sound sleeper.) At some point during all this madness, she had called her dad and told him she was in trouble and feared for her life. Dad must've lived pretty close, because in a very short period of time, he drove up and jumped out of his truck, pointing a pistol directly at the head of his daughter's tormentor. That's when the young man decided it was time to depart the premises. He threw his truck in reverse and stomped the gas. BAM!!! That's when I woke up, with emphasis on the word "UP." I levitated!! It felt like I rose at least three feet out of my bed. In his haste to escape, the young villain had backed into the side of the hotel, striking the building literally less than ten feet from....ME!!! It put a crack in the side of that three story building from the ground all the way to the roof. Three seconds later he had vanished around the corner of the building, hopefully out of my life forever. MY OBSERVATIONS 1) If I had been that dad, I think I would've done the same thing he did. I'm a mild-mannered man until my kids are in trouble. 2) Also, if I was that dad, when I got my daughter home, she would've had a lot of "splainin'" to do! 3) One more point about if I was that dad: Regardless of what my daughter had been doing, or how many times something like that had happened, all she would have to do is call, and I would come running, and I would deal with her after I knew she was safe. 4) I'm thankful for the sheltered life I've lived, and for the fact that that style of living is so foreign to me. 5) I need to make sure I thank God every day for the fact that my kids have turned out to be the kind of adults they are. 6) Even with all the excitement, I was sound asleep again in less than two hours. Sleepless nights are rare occurrences for me. 7) If I'm gonna be the kind of Christian I say I want to be, I need to pray for both that young woman and the young man, as well as their families. God loves them. So should I. 8) That hotel is the type of place where women business travelers stay alone and feel safe....it's not a sleaze-bag joint. Events like that can happen anywhere at any time. 9) I will go back to that hotel again. I've stayed there many times without incident, as I'm sure I will again. 10) When staying in a hotel, a person should always wear some type of sleeping attire. What if I wouldn't have been, and that little truck had crashed through my window, into my room. Not a pretty sight. 11) We never did get that propeller installed on that computer. Preston