Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXV

It was twenty-nine years ago when I began my current job, which requires a lot of travel. Since then I've driven well over a million miles, and when a person travels that many miles, he will inevitably see some horrific accidents along the way. Fortunately, those scenes are rare. Every time I see one of those accidents, it upsets me, and my mind always goes to the fact that they happen so quickly, and so many people's lives are thrown into chaos as a result. Just a few days ago, I had to drive from home to Fort Smith, AR, and it was raining cats and dogs the entire way, causing the trip to take just a little over six and a half hours. That day turned out to be the worst day for me so far, as it relates to passing major automobile accidents. During that six hour drive, I saw four major accidents requiring ambulances, and in one case, causing traffic to have to be diverted to another highway. As a result of the events I witnessed that day, I naturally began to notice the way other motorists were driving, and I had to conclude that it was a miracle I only saw four accidents on that trip. Obviously, there are many people who erroneously feel they know how to drive in heavy rain, yet they violate almost every rule pertaining to rainy day driving. Therefore, I have decided to list some reminders about driving in the rain that I hope will cause all of us to pause and think about some common sense rules that may save some lives. When it's raining, turn on your lights. In addition to the falling rain, the spray from other vehicles, especially the big trucks, not only makes it harder for you to see, but it also makes it harder for you to be seen. If you're in a light colored car, such as white or light gray, you're even more camouflaged. Your lights make you much more visible. Don't drive with your cruise control engaged. Many highways have ruts that develop in the areas where tires normally travel, and they hold water when it's raining. If you're not extremely careful, they will throw you, and the cruise control increases that likelihood. One thing to keep in mind though, if you're like me and are accustomed to using the cruise, be sure to watch your speed, because it's easy to speed up without realizing it. Make sure you keep tires with good tread on your vehicle. Two different times, down through the years, I have hydroplaned in heavy rain, completely losing control of my car, and both times, my tires were beginning to get slick. SLOW DOWN! I will admit if you are driving much slower than the normal flow of traffic, you are creating a hazard, but the faster you drive, the higher your chance of hydroplaning becomes, and you are not only endangering your own life, but also the lives of everyone around you. Don't engage in any activity that might distract you from your driving. It's never safe to play with your phone when you're behind the wheel, but the danger increases ten fold on rainy days. Staying completely alert is of utmost importance. To me, the biggest danger is people who have an attitude that says, "I've got this. I know what I'm doing." When a person has that frame of mind, yet they violate many of the rules I just mentioned, it tells me they just THINK they know what they're doing. I've been with other drivers on rainy days when I said to myself, "If I get out of this alive, I'll never ride with this person again." And believe me, I stick to that vow. One other factor we must consider: Any time we're involved in an accident when we're at fault, and the other party is killed or seriously injured, we can find ourselves in serious legal trouble. Trust me, it CAN happen to you. It CAN happen to me. We can't control the actions of other drivers, but if we'll adhere to a few common sense rules, we can greatly increase our own chances of arriving alive. Heavy rain is a good enough excuse for being a little late. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXIV

I understand your concerns. I have the same ones. The unrest in this world is frightening. Who knows what horrible stunt ISIS will pull next and where it will happen. The leaders of our nation are attempting to make a deal with a country whose stated goal is to bring about the annihilation of Israel, which may push Israel to act on their own, putting the entire world in a state of chaos. In other areas, Christians are being murdered simply for their beliefs, and even in our country they're being ridiculed by Hollywood and some of the late night television hosts. With every new regulation being forced upon us by our government, we lose another little snippet of our freedom. Poverty is causing people to act irrationally, while cyber crime from all parts of the world is quickly becoming one of our biggest threats. Financial stress has become a major factor in the lives of people in all walks of life, both rich and poor. It's enough to drive us crazy.....if we dwell on it. As bad as the news is, we still have a responsibility to keep ourselves aware of world events and to walk into the voting booths with a thorough knowledge of what our choices are and why we should or should not vote for each of the candidates. Our tendency is to avoid depressing news, yet if we want to be responsible citizens, we have no choice but to stay informed. The result, however, is people are stressed to a greater degree than most of us have seen in our lifetime. I have a close friend who is a flight attendant for a major airline, and she has been telling me that the tension level among their passengers is higher than it's been in any of the previous years she has worked there, which has to be a result of the increased uncertainty we all face on a daily basis. There may not be much you nor I can do to lighten the mood of the general public, but there IS something we can do to help ourselves. You see, there's some other news I haven't mentioned, and it's the news I choose to think about. No doubt, you can find similar news on which to focus your attention. I have a family whom I adore, and they adore me. If wealth is determined by the number of friends a person has, I'm a rich man. I know these friends love me, because they tell me often. My friends from church (aka my church family) are top notch, quality people. The friends in my running group are true, loyal, die-hard companions who probably know more about me than anyone else besides family. Although I have my share of problems, as does every one of you, life is basically going my way. Angie and I are very actively involved in our church for one simple reason: It's what we want to do. I get up early four mornings every week to go running with my friends, because that's what I want to do. I have my job because it's the job I want. Even with all our problems, I still believe I live in the best country on Earth. I may not be rich in a monetary sense, but I'm able to pay all my bills on time, and even put a little back each month. I've been forgiven, and I've learned how to forgive. Events that have upset me in the past are now water under the bridge, and will forever remain "in the past." I know how to give and receive love. I've learned how to trust, and I know I am trusted. I've often said I can't ever see me becoming an Elvis impersonator, because why should I pretend to be someone else, when being me is about as good as it gets. Although I will constantly be striving for self improvement, I'm really okay with who I am. Anyone who works a job, or just lives life, will face stress on a daily basis, yet on the whole, I'm happy. I realize the events I mentioned in the beginning of this article are real, and I will continue to watch them, but I can't worry about them, because for me, life is good. Please understand, I'm not bragging, since most all of you can say the same things I've been saying. If we learn to focus on our blessings, our problems will become no more than slight, temporary annoyances, and we can live with that. It's all about where we direct our mind. "For the rest, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things have honour, whatever things are upright, whatever things are holy, whatever things are beautiful, whatever things are of value, if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, give thought to these things." Philippians 4:8 (BBE) Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXIII

When you're looking at a picture of yourself and a group of friends, whose image do you examine most thoroughly? Without a doubt, practically every one of us will look most closely at our own picture. There have been times when I've posted group pictures on Facebook or Instagram, and I check to make sure my own image is satisfactory, then I hit "post;" only to have one or more of the other people in the picture tell me, "Please delete that picture. I look horrible." Even though I don't say it, I sometimes think, "What's wrong with it? It looks just like you." Why do we do that? Is it because we don't want to be reminded of how we actually look, or are we just a little too critical of ourselves because we're concerned about how others will view us? We look at the picture of our friend who just said "I look horrible" and think, "She looks fine to me." You and I both know of people who have spent thousands on plastic surgery, only to make themselves look worse. (In my opinion, that technology still has a way to go.) The truth is, we all want to present ourselves in as good a light as possible. Whether or not we want to admit it, we all worry about the opinions others form about us. I've heard it said so many times, "I don't care what anyone thinks about me," but then that same person will stand in front of a mirror for thirty minutes making sure every hair is in place and their clothes are hanging just right. We all do that because we DO care what others think about us. We all want to be accepted by our peers, and sometimes we pull some crazy stunts in an attempt to gain that acceptance. I've known people who have made a lot of friends, but have had a hard time keeping them, all because they tried too hard to nourish the friendship and ended up practically smothering them. In other words, they do the wrong things in an effort to keep the friendship; then when those friends begin to pull back, they do the wrong things even more intensely, accelerating the problem. It's like they're trying to buy their friends. Admit it. You want to be accepted by your fellow man. You need friends. But how do you go about achieving that goal? Making sure only pictures that meet your approval are the ones you allow others to see may not be the best way to start this process. Try this: Make a list of the characteristics that, in your mind, would describe the perfect friend for you, then instead of seeking that person, try BECOMING that person. As an example, here's a portion of my list: *Someone who doesn't constantly brag on himself *Someone who doesn't try to coerce others into bragging on him *Someone who constantly looks for the good in others *Someone who can take a joke and doesn't always have to be serious *Someone who isn't selfish and gladly gives of himself to help others *Someone who doesn't keep score on who owes who a favor *Someone who smiles a lot and tries to make others feel special *Someone who does their best to not let it show when he's in a bad mood *Someone who does not mind, and is not jealous, when I also have other friends *Someone I can talk to, but who will not try to dominate the conversation. The person with the most friends is a person who focuses more on others instead of himself. I've discovered if I stop searching for the right person and exert my efforts on being the right person, the friends will come to me. Those who give most end up being the ones who receive most. If I focus more on your picture, I won't worry so much about mine. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXII

Mom knew she was dying. And we knew she knew. There's just something about when we're aware that someone we love knows they're about to die, we hang on to every word they speak, because we know they're talking about things that matter. Often their voices are weak, so we bend down closer to them so we can be sure to hear every word, and we'll promise them anything they request. What would you think would be some of the things the four of us heard from our mother? Maybe to make sure we work as hard as possible so we can provide well for our families? Or do you think she would be instructing us how to spend what little money she was leaving us? Actually, I don't think she was worried us working hard, because she was aware of our work ethic. She also knew we wouldn't be unwise with our inheritance. She didn't have the extra breath to waste on things she knew we would most likely do anyway. She wanted her final instructions to make a difference. Somehow, in her wisdom, Mom looked ahead and saw where our challenges would be, and she directed her instructions to us in those areas. Maybe it's because she knew how busy our lives were, and she considered the fact that we are all separated geographically, making it easy to become so involved in our own lives that we would begin to neglect each other. Therefore, she challenged us: Don't drift apart. Make sure you still have family get-togethers after I'm gone. Don't allow little differences of opinion to cause division among you. Stay united. I was paraphrasing there because I don't recall what her exact words were, but that was the basic message. I remember her telling me one day, several years before her death, that she understood that when our kids grew up and moved away, they would want to come back to our house for big holidays, like Christmas, but she still insisted that we siblings plan to get back to her house as often as possible. I often heard her say that she was happiest when she had all her kids at home at the same time. Does that sound like something your mother would say? Parents don't want division among their kids, especially after they're grown. She taught us to love each other and not to let our differences separate us. Those instructions were from a biological parent, but doesn't it stand to reason that our Heavenly Father would tell us the same thing? We're all wise enough to understand that no two of us will always be in full agreement on everything, and if we're not careful, we'll focus on what few differences we have, while neglecting the much larger areas where we agree. Mom knew the miles that separate her kids would present challenges, but I must say, we're doing our best to live up to her wishes. Mom's dying wish was that we always love God and love each other, and she instructed us accordingly, because those are the things that matter. Preston