Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDVII

When a person has been at the same job for a while, there are some little tricks he learns that saves time and makes the performance of that job a little easier. I'm sure it would only take you a few seconds to think of some examples of what I'm talking about, but have you ever taken the time to question whether that same idea could be used in other areas of your life? I have, and I've been amazed at what I've come up with. There's one in particular I have in mind, and with the new year coming up, I feel like today would be a good time to talk about it. For most of my adult life, my career has been connected to the apparel industry. When I first started, I would watch the "seasoned veterans" at work, and I noticed how, if they were moving merchandise from one rack to another, they could move as many as forty-eight pieces of clothing at one time simply by squeezing them together, lifting them, and carrying them to the other rack. So I tried it. The first few times were a disaster. I could lift them from the rack, but when I started walking with them, the ones in the middle would start to fall and would soon be all over the floor, especially if they were made from fabrics like nylon or rayon. Then one day I figured it out....if I would continually try to squeeze a little harder, I could make it work. It dawned on me that if I didn't keep trying to squeeze harder, even without realizing it, I would begin to relax my grip. It has taken a few failed attempts at other projects in life to figure out that the same principle applies to practically anything I attempt if I want to become successful. Let's take a look at the most popular New Year's resolution, losing weight. So many people will set their goals and even stick with them until the goals are reached, and then they change the plan from losing to maintaining. That's when disaster strikes. They begin to relax a little, and then the entire program falls apart. There is a one word definition that describes the end of maintaining: Fat. That is the result of relaxing. A young man asked me recently, "At what age does a person reach the stage of life where he is no longer tempted to do wrong?" My answer: "I don't know. I'm only sixty-two." I think if he would've asked that same question of my father in law, his answer would've been, "I don't know. I'm only ninety-one." What I really believe he was asking was, "When will I reach the point to where I don't have to try so hard, and I can just maintain?" In that situation, the end result of maintaining is "doing wrong." There is a danger in "maintaining" that we seldom consider before we begin, because the entire premise behind maintaining is the privilege of easing up a little. I can't think of any area of life where that's safe. I remember one day as I was moving a big group of ladies' blouses from one rack to another, I said to myself, "I'm gonna squeeze hard enough to lift these blouses from the rack and make sure I just maintain the same grip without trying to squeeze harder." The result: Blouses all over the floor. I once heard a preacher talking about our walk with God, and he said there is no such thing as maintaining our spiritual life at the same level...we're either getting closer to God or we're drifting away. I've found that to be true in basically any area of life that requires effort. We must continually try to squeeze harder. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDV

Angie and I have worked hard down through the years trying to make a better life for ourselves and those we love. We've had some measures of success, but we've also made our share of mistakes. Although things aren't, and never will be, exactly the way we want them, on the whole, we've done okay and we're living a happy middle class life. What we have wasn't given to us...we earned it. We sleep cool in the summer and warm in the winter; we each drive a nice reliable vehicle; we take nice trips; we eat at nice restaurants; we wear quality, fashionable apparel; and we buy nice gifts for our grandchildren. We firmly believe that what we have worked so hard to attain is ours to use the way we see fit. Let's take it one step further. I am the eldest of four children. My parents could not afford to send me to college, and even if they had been able to save enough down through the years for my education, there's no way they could've done it for four of us, which would've led them to the decision, "Don't give something to one that you can't give to everyone." That means that my education was totally paid by me. Therefore, if there are those who are less fortunate than I am because of the fact that I have a better education....well, I worked and paid for that too. There again, nothing was given to me. I guess what I'm I'm trying to do is state my case that I owe nothing to any part of society that does nothing for me. Technically, and maybe even legally, that may be true. But if I lived by that philosophy, what would it say about me? I'm afraid it would bear out that, even though I may feel compassion, I don't act on it, possibly because I want to make sure that the wants and needs of my family are taken care of first. Maybe I would need to go back a couple weeks and re-read what I wrote about how, as a child of God, created in his image, I live a life that is better than I deserve. I would also need to consider the fact that the way I was raised most definitely had a positive effect on the man I became, which means that I can't take all the credit for any success I've had. If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that I've had some opportunities that don't befall every individual, but does that obligate me to give a portion of what's mine to those who have less? The answer is, "No, it doesn't." However, if I am to become the kind of man I say I want to be, I have to go beyond obligation. It must be done while bringing as little attention to myself as possible, yet benefitting those who can do absolutely nothing for me in return. If it is to be done right, I must not receive any type of material reward for my action. As we do every Christmas season, our church is offering an "Adopt a Kid" program where people select names of needy children and fulfill their Christmas wish lists of toys and clothing. When I saw all the cards with the children's names and information, it was mind boggling, but it made me feel so much better when people were still wanting to participate long after all the cards had been taken. It made me realize that there is a large number of people who feel the same way I do about helping those in need. I am a firm believer that when we go above and beyond what's comfortable in order to help those in need, we find that, miraculously, what we're able to do for our own families is in no way diminished. It's a principle of giving that can't be proven by science or with a calculator, yet it works over and over again. But it only works when we take the plunge and do it. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDIV

Walking down the hall at school, between classes, I finally had enough, and on the spur of the moment I decided to do something about it. My friend, C.K., had been sneaking up behind me and thumping my ear, and that can be painful...especially in cold weather. I was eleven years old and I handled it the way the typical eleven year old would.....I turned around and hit him as hard as I could with my fist. He looked stunned and said, "Ouch! That hurt." I said, "Well, quit thumping my ear." Although the way I dealt with the situation may have been childish, it worked, and C.K. and I remained friends until we graduated. There's another way of dealing with conflicts that is used by adults that I didn't know about at that time. Instead of hitting C.K., I could've slapped myself. That may sound a little unorthodox, but when you think about it, don't we grownups sometimes use that same tactic? What we do is get mad and hold a grudge against the other person, often refusing for years to forgive. If I had done that when C.K. was thumping my ear, it would've brought me basically the same results as if I had just slapped myself, because the person who refuses to forgive is the one who pays the price. I like the way my cousin, Ron Brigmon, said it, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies." There is a possibility that somewhere along the way I have unintentionally offended someone and they are carrying a grudge against me even as we speak. Unfortunately for them, however, I don't know about it and I'm happily living my life, completely oblivious to the fact that someone has an issue with me and won't let it go. If I knew about it, I would sincerely apologize, which would then put the ball in their court to forgive. If they refuse, it may or may not upset me, but the burden they have to carry will stay with them until they choose to let it go. The one who refuses to forgive is always the one who pays the greatest price, whether or not the other party suffers. I know of one situation where a man is holding a grudge so strongly against someone else that it is affecting his health. There is no way now that the offending party can undo the damage that was done, and he deeply regrets what happened. The only thing he can do now is apologize, which he has done, but his apology has not been accepted, which means that the situation remains unrectified. The only person who can fix it now is the person who refuses to do so, even at the expense of his own health. Unless he lets it go, his life will soon be over, and at that point, the situation will be resolved. I'm not saying that hitting someone is the best way to solve an issue; in fact I admitted it was childish. What I AM saying is that my problem was resolved long ago and C.K. and I went back to being friends. What grownups should do is work out our differences and get them behind us. That's the way kids deal with conflicts. We adults could learn a few lessons from them. Preston