Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVIII

I'm walking toward the door of the Coffee House, and the reflection in the window alerts me to the fact that a woman is right behind me, heading for the same door. I know what to do. It's second nature to me, because I was taught as a little boy how to act in that situation....I grab the handle, pull the door open, then step aside and hold it for the lady, letting her enter ahead of me. I was taught through all my formative years how a gentleman is supposed to treat a lady, and I still adhere to those rules, even though I'm not sure if they still hold true today. The way I've done it has worked well for me down through the years. Usually the lady will smile and say "Thank you," although occasionally she will walk through the door without acknowledging me, but I can also recall a couple times when the woman rudely informed me she preferred opening the door herself without my help. So here's my question: Do the younger women of this new millennium still like it when gentlemen hold doors open for them? As a husband and a dad to women, it would be unthinkable for me to be okay with a man who is performing equal work with my wife or daughter to be paid more than they are just because he's a man. I have no problem voting for a woman, as long as her political views match mine. I could be happy working on a job where a woman was my boss. My teacher in my Community Group at church is a woman whom I deeply respect and love, and I thoroughly enjoy her teaching. I guess my point is I believe in gender equality, and I believe major decisions in our home should be made by both of us jointly. It is my opinion that men in general, me included, desire to treat women the way they want to be treated, but it's those few who are so vocal about not wanting us to open the door for them, etc. that make us uncomfortable and unsure how to treat ladies. What if the tragedy of the "Titanic" happened today instead of more than one hundred years ago? Assuming that just as then, there would be an insufficient number of lifeboats, would it still be proper to have the rule about making sure all the women and children were able to board the lifeboats before any men could board? Would it still be considered shameful for any man to try to sneak on board a lifeboat before all the women had a chance? I wonder if the woman who doesn't want me opening a door for her would refuse when I stepped aside and offered her the chance to get on a lifeboat ahead of me. I've discussed this matter from time to time with female friends and family members, and I've concluded that practically all of them still want gentlemen to treat them like ladies in practically the same way it's been done for generations. Ladies should be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve, as equal creatures with men, yet with just a little special treatment simply because they're ladies. There's nothing wrong, disrespectful, or demeaning about telling a lady how nice she looks as long as she is also respected for the intelligent creature she is. That's how I feel, but then I'm "old school." Here's hoping the "new school" feels the same. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLVII

Looking ahead from a distance, I thought it was a police car on the shoulder, checking for speeders. As I got closer, I noticed there was more than one car parked next to the highway, and it was obvious they weren't cops. The vehicles were sitting across the road and directly in front of a big house, and there were two or three people standing around. However, before I get to the story of what was going on, I probably should tell you about the house. I've seen it a few times before. Simply saying it is a big house is a vast understatement. A more accurate description would be it is a huge mansion. It's a giant 2-story home sitting back about a tenth of a mile off the highway with a lawn that is at least ten acres. The building, as well as the entire piece of property, is always kept in immaculate condition, and I've never passed that way when the lawn wasn't well manicured. The estate is surrounded by a beautiful fence. Just inside the yard, all along the fence, is a row of beautiful, old pecan trees, and the trees line both sides of the driveway up to the home. The space between the fence and the highway is kept just as well as the yard. I have no idea who lives there, but whoever it is, they are apparently people of immense wealth. Now to the people who were parked beside the road in front of the house: Their cars were, for lack of a better term, old rattle traps. Although I've never seen the residents of that fine home, there is no doubt about the stark contrast as to the social status of them and the folks outside the fence. You see, those big pecan trees along the front fence have some limbs that hang over the fence, just above the grassy area between the fence and the highway. The visitors had what looked like old pillow cases, and they were filling them with pecans. It was apparent the homeowners had no problem with their less fortunate neighbors helping themselves to a few pecans. It didn't hurt their bottom line one iota. You and I fall somewhere between the two extremes I saw on that Texas highway, yet I have no doubt that we have something we can give to the needy that won't hurt us one bit. I've recently been made aware of a family that had nothing, and the definition of "nothing" is "not anything." It has opened my eyes to just how fortunate I am, when I really hadn't realized it before. I've thrown things away that some people not far from me would love to have. It brings a whole new meaning to the old adage "One man's trash is another man's treasure." As I talk to friends, I'm amazed at how they actually want to give, but, just like me, their circle of friends and influence are not the ones who are desperately in need, and we just don't know who they are. I didn't even know about the family I mentioned, but when someone else told me about them, it made me think about things I have around my house that's just in my way since I've replaced them with newer styles, yet those people were having to do without those very items. I'm not asking for help for that family.....they're now being taken care of. Nor do I intend to make it sound like I'm trying to apply pressure for anyone else to start giving away their "stuff." I'm of the opinion that pressured giving is not real giving....it's more like someone else "taking." I also realize that some of the "have nots" are in that condition due to bad life choices, but my answer to that is "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." We've all made some bad choices. No, I don't know much about that well-to-do family in south Texas, but I do like the fact that, if they wanted, they could stop the poor from taking pecans from their property....after all, how does it make their place look with all those old cars hanging around their front yard....yet they seem to welcome them there. I understand that you and I don't have the kinds of resources that family has, but I'll bet we have something we can give that won't hurt us a bit, just like giving those pecans didn't hurt that family. Every year about this time, I try to send out a reminder to everyone who may WANT to give, but we just don't know anyone in need. If we think about it though, we can think of sources of information as to who is truly in dire straits. What better way is there to celebrate the birth of Christ than to follow His example, because after all, no one gave more than He gave. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLI

There were some who blamed that new young preacher for instigating much of this pack of trouble, and it's entirely possible that sure enough he may have been at least partly at fault. There's just no way to prove it now. It's a known fact there was tension between the new preacher and the old preacher. The old preacher, Rev. Francis Dane, was about sixty-five years old when some members of his congregation expressed their concern that he was getting too old to lead a church, and should be replaced with a younger pastor. When the new preacher arrived, the church stopped the salary of Rev. Dane. When he appealed that decision, they decided to split the new preacher's salary, giving the older man 37.5% of what he had previously been making and taking it from the younger man's salary. Naturally, this decision pleased no one, and that's where the animosity began. It was right after those events that Rev. Francis Dane; his two daughters, Elizabeth (Betty) Dane Johnson and Abigail Dane Faulkner; and his daughter in law, Deliverance Hazeltine Dane, found themselves as defendants in the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. Although Francis Dane never had to go to trial, his daughters and daughter in law were convicted and sentenced to death. During the trials, some of the women of the town who were called as witnesses would begin writhing and exhibiting all kinds of contortions, and claiming they were under spells cast on them by the defendants. One witness's writhing took her under the table where Abigail was sitting, and when she touched Abigail's leg, the contortions stopped. The witness then claimed that touching her was the only remedy to the writhing. Abigail's two daughters were also charged, and they both pleaded guilty and implicated their mother in the charges. It is believed that Abigail instructed them to do so, attempting to place all the blame on herself. This was done in an effort to spare the lives of her daughters. All this time, Rev. Dane was working behind the scenes to put a stop to all the nonsense. Although at first, Rev. Barnard, the young preacher, was a big proponent of the trials, he too eventually came out against them. In the end, none of the Dane family lost their lives over the incident, although there were others who weren't so fortunate. The governor of Massachusetts ended up stopping the executions, and all the members of the Dane family were pardoned except Deliverance Dane, who never had her name cleared. I've known about the Salem Witch Trials since I studied American history in the seventh grade, but I never really thought that much about them until the past few weeks. You may be wondering what could possibly have suddenly stirred my interest in events that happened more than three hundred years ago. Here's the reason: I've just learned that I am a great (X9) grandson of Francis Dane, through his daughter, Elizabeth Johnson, one of the accused....down through my mom's side of the family. I've always thought the whole Salem Witch Trials episode was a farce, but now that I know it was my own family who was on trial, I'm CERTAIN it was. Hey, don't mess with my family!!!! I'll put a spell on you. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXLV

There's a chain of mattress stores who call themselves "The Sleep Experts." Maybe they are. I really can't say for sure, but I have a feeling their "expertise" is only about mattresses, while there are many other aspects of sleep where their knowledge is more limited. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on any area of sleep, but I HAVE figured out a few things, and I'll share some of them with you today. No doubt, there are some medical issues that affect a person's sleep patterns, and I won't even try to get into them. I know a lot of people who say they don't sleep well, but for the most part, I sleep well practically every night, and here are six very practical reasons why I do and should also work for you: 1) If you can only splurge on one thing your entire life, it should be on your mattress. You will spend a third of your life on it, so make sure it's the best one you can afford. 2) Stay active during the day so you will be tired at bed time. There are times when I have to work weekends, but usually, other than going to church, I try to take it easy on Sundays, while every other day, I find plenty to do that makes me look forward to going to bed at night. 3) Clear your mind. There are two kinds of problems: The ones you can fix, and the ones you can't fix. If you have an issue you know you can handle, resolve to do so, then go to bed with the assurance it will be resolved. As far as the ones you can't fix, I learned a lesson from nature that helped me in that situation. A cold front was moving in, and ahead of it was some stormy weather. Not only was it raining hard, but the wind had shifted and the temperature was dropping fast. We humans seek shelter in those situations, but the cattle living in the pasture don't have that option. I was driving through a rural area of southern Texas at that time, and I passed a cow pasture. There was nowhere in that pasture for the cattle to find a place to be out of the weather, so it was a problem they couldn't fix, and here's how they handled it: They had lunch. Running around and getting all worried would've done them no good, so they accepted it as non avoidable, and resumed their normal activity. Also, we should keep in mind the things we spend so much time worrying about don't really harm us anyway. I remember one night when I knew I would be having a very unpleasant phone conversation at work the next morning, and there was no way out of it. Although I had no way of knowing what would be said, nor what the outcome would be, I decided there was nothing I could do about it anyway, so I slept like a baby. Sure enough, the call came and the outcome was not good, yet here I am today completely unharmed by that event. 4) Be at peace with yourself. When you go to bed at night knowing you are not living the way you should, and you're not happy with who you have become, it can result in sleepless nights. Here's the situation you're facing: You have a problem that will linger until it's fixed, and only you can fix it. Making things right may be awkward, and even make you feel temporarily uncomfortable, but when you make things right with God and your friends and family you have wronged, you will feel better and the sleepless nights will vanish. 5) When you lie down at night, keep your mind on pleasant thoughts. You know the things that make you happy. When your mind drifts to worrisome thoughts, force it back to the happy things. 6) When all else fails, try reading one of my "Thinking Out Loud" articles. That works better than a sleeping pill. Preston