Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXX

Two of my favorite places: Lincoln Parish Park, Ruston, LA and Monte Sano Mountain, Huntsville, AL. That's because I love to hike challenging trails. There is one slight little issue I have to deal with when I'm on those trails however, and that's the fact that since I may be just a little clumsy, I have a tendency to trip and fall when I'm traversing tricky terrain. Two weeks ago when I was on one of those trails, although I didn't fall, I tripped at least five times, and the realization hit me as to why it was happening. I also thought it may be worth sharing, and I later got a confirmation on that idea, so here goes: Sometimes there are some extremely steep climbs and descents on those trails. There may be places on the trails where a large limb has fallen across the path. There may be some tricky creek crossings where we have to step from rock to rock to get across. There are areas where large boulders have to be stepped over or maneuvered around. Yes, I encounter some or most of those situations practically every time I hike one of those trails, but the fact is, I rarely get tripped up by any of the things I just mentioned. They're big, they're clearly visible, sometimes even with a little warning sign that alerts us as to what we're about to encounter. Then what is it that makes me stumble? It's little things: A small root just an inch or so high. It's a small rock that's mostly buried in the dirt with only a tiny portion of it sticking out of the ground. It may be a small dip in the trail that's only a couple inches deep. As I was saying, it dawned on me as I was on the trail what the cause of my frequent tripping really was, and as I thought about it, I decided to write on that topic. What I consider to be my confirmation that I was on target with the idea came the next morning at church when my pastor discussed the same topic in his sermon. Think about it. The big issues are clearly visible, and we usually see them coming ahead of time, so we put forth our best efforts to work through them. Then someone says a word that rubs us the wrong way, and we explode. Often we will build something up in our minds and we let our imagination run wild, and the next thing we know, we've turned a molehill into a mountain, or a crawfish mound into a volcano. So many times we'll let careless words by a friend cause more damage to our friendship than some major infraction. I remember a friend from a few years back who, at two different times, had a nice looking young man make a bold attempt at luring her into an adulterous relationship, and both times she resisted the advances, only to fall prey to a family friend who spoke softly and smiled just the right way when he was around her, and the end result was a broken marriage. (Actually two broken marriages, since the man's marriage failed also.) She easily avoided the earlier obvious attempts to lead her astray, yet she allowed the more subtle movements from a good friend to sneak up on her, catching her off guard. Small stones and tiny roots on level ground are more likely to cause me to trip and fall than large boulders and limbs on steep descents, and it's because they "sneak up on me" while I'm on the lookout for the big, obvious pitfalls. However, it would also be wise on my part to realize those tiny obstacles are on every path I walk....not just on the wooded trails. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXIX

The surgeon used his scalpel to cut through the skin, right down the middle of my five week old granddaughter's chest. He then opened her rib cage in order to gain access to her heart. When the heart beats, it pumps blood through a canal to the lungs where it receives oxygen. From there, the blood flows back to the heart where it is pumped through another canal, right beside the first one, throughout the body. The oxygen is then depleted, and the blood returns to the heart to repeat the same process over and over again. My little granddaughter was born with only one of those canals, which caused the blood that had just gone through the lungs to mix with the blood on the way to the lungs. As a result, the blood flowing through her body had only half the oxygen it needed, and that caused her to go into heart failure. During that seven hour procedure, Dr. Mello took some of Lennon's own tissue and created a partition down the middle of that one canal, so the blood would flow properly to the lungs & then to her body. After that he closed the rib cage, and stapled her skin back together. He then relied on nature to do its part. All he had to do was sew the skin back in place, because each one of us was created with a self-healing mechanism, which caused the skin to grow back together. In just a few weeks, he was able to remove the staples, and the skin stayed in place. At that time, she was five weeks old, but today she is five YEARS old, in good health, with only a barely noticeable scar on her chest. When her dad, my son, was just a little younger than she is now, I was taking him for a ride on a motorcycle, and he fell off, breaking his arm. All the doctor had to do for him was set the bone back in place, put a cast on his arm to hold it in the correct position, and let the bone heal itself. Today he is an adult with no ill effects from his broken arm. I'm able to tell you those two stories with the happy endings because of that self-healing mechanism God placed in our bodies when He created us. The stories I told you had to do with our physical bodies, but the self-healing system also works on our mental health as well. Like many of you, I know the pain of losing a loved one, because I've had to deal with losing both of my parents. That was hard enough to handle, but I just wasn't quite prepared for the grief of losing my younger brother in 2010. Some of you know what it's like to lose a spouse, and too many of you have experienced the loss of your own child. Many of you can also testify about the sense of despair and worthlessness that's felt when a person goes through a divorce. It's at such times when an individual feels like all hope is lost, and happiness will never return. I have to tell you, sitting in that waiting room for seven long hours while Lennon was in surgery, praying and wondering how a tiny infant could survive such an ordeal, stretched us to our limits. Yes, if you look closely, you will see a scar, but don't let that fool you....she is in good health. Whatever you're facing may leave a small scar, but don't forget, we have a built-in system that heals our hurts, both physical and emotional. Yes, I still miss my parents and my brother, but the real pain I sensed at that time has healed, and I'm now able to live a happy life. Here's the best part: Just knowing that we'll get better can speed up the healing process. So many times I've stood at the mirror and said, "This, too, shall pass." When I remind myself of that fact, I get well faster. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXVIII

How many of you remember the Pepsi Challenge? Here's what it was: Pepsi ran an ad campaign where they would blindfold volunteers and give them a taste of Pepsi and a taste of Coke to see which flavor they preferred. These events were not staged...they were real. In fact, I had a friend who worked with Pepsi, and that was her job. The results? A majority of the participants chose Pepsi over Coke. The people at Coke couldn't believe it, so they went out and performed the same exact challenge. Their results were the same....people preferred Pepsi. Coca Cola then made a colossal mistake. They changed their recipe so that Coke would taste more like Pepsi. It was called New Coke. The general public rejected it like it was poison and demanded that they get their "Old Coke" back. Then an employee of Coca Cola had an idea: They would present the challenge again, but this time, instead of giving each participant just a "taste" of each, they would have them drink a whole bottle of each to see which they preferred. They discovered that when customers tried a taste of each, they liked Pepsi, but when they had an entire bottle of each, they overwhelmingly chose the original Coke. Therefore, we now have Coke Classic, and New Coke is gone. I still remember my first trip to a Thai restaurant. The first thing I tried there was coconut soup, and my first impression when I put the first spoonful in my mouth was "Yuck." I had gone as a guest of a friend, so I chose to use my manners and try to consume the whole bowl. After the second spoonful, I decided I could endure it, and I have to tell you, by the time I finished, I was shoveling it down like it was the best thing I'd ever had. By the end of that first bowI, I was a fan. Although we have now been living in West Monroe for thirty years, during the first few years of our marriage, we moved around a lot, causing us to be constantly having to make new friends. It almost became a game to us. We would begin attending a new church, and we would try to guess who would end up becoming our good friends. In almost every situation, the people who came to us first to make us feel welcome were not the ones who became our buddies. It's not that we didn't like them, but we just never became close. Why did people like a taste of Pepsi over a taste of Coke, while they preferred a bottle of Coke over a bottle of Pepsi? Why did I hate that first sip of coconut soup, only to be loving it by the time I was finished? Why didn't the first and friendliest people to welcome us at each new church become our close friends? Could it be that our initial reactions to something new are generally flawed? Are first impressions usually reliable? Apparently not. When I had to put my car in the shop in Northwest Arkansas, my rental was a brand of car I had never driven. I was loving it for the first few miles, but after driving it a couple days, I couldn't wait to get my old car back. After a couple weeks, you might discover that sweet young thing you were so enamored with on the first date is so high maintenance that you can't wait to trade her in for someone else. That new church you wanted to reject on your first visit may end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. I have a good friend who will admit he is very spontaneous on most of his decisions, but he will also admit it's a trait that has gotten him into trouble more times than he cares to mention. That first sip might taste pretty good, but we need drink the whole bottle before we sign the contract. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXVII

I was amused by the fifth grader's description of her teacher. Her mother, one of my clients, had already told me her daughter's teacher was really good, yet she operated more like a drill sergeant, so when the young student came back into the office where we were working, I asked her about her teacher. "She's mean," she said and then continued, "One day she told us when SHE was in school, she had a teacher she was scared of. I didn't say it out loud, but I thought, 'I'm scared of you!' She has these eyes that see all the way down into your soul." After I left that day, I thought more about my conversation with that sweet fifth grade student, and I thought how cool it would be if she could see herself through her teacher's eyes....yes, those same eyes that "see way down into her soul." I have a feeling her attitude would change when, looking at herself through her teacher's eyes, she would see a beautiful little girl with a lot of potential, who was really loved by her teacher. I saw a little prayer a few days ago that said, "Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am." Dogs and small children tend to leave no doubt about how they feel about someone, whether they like him or not, or if they're scared of him. The rest of us, however, have a tendency to hold our true feelings inside a little more, creating doubt in the minds of those around us as to how we actually view them. We act friendly to most everyone, yet we rarely ever really express what our opinion of them really is. Right now I'm thinking about a young couple from church, and I think they are one of the most awesome couples I've ever met. I like everything I've seen about them, which means I've seen nothing about them I don't like. Sure, they know I'm always friendly to them, but since they have no way of seeing themselves through my eyes, without a doubt they have no clue as to how much I really admire them. According to the way they act, they appear to be very fond of Angie and me, but if they knew how we really view them, how would it make them feel? I feel safe in saying they would like us even more. I'm also thinking about two different people I know, who, for the most part, are not friendly to me, and that bothers me. I can't help but wonder why. As a result, I tend to steer clear of them when I can, but I do wish I could see myself through their eyes, just so I would know for sure. It could be that they are a little shy, and they just don't know me well enough, or maybe I've offended them in some way in the past. However, if I could see myself the way they see me, I would at least know for sure, and could act accordingly. If they're anything like me, though, they'll probably never let me know. Like I was saying last week, I've never intentionally tried to offend anyone, so if someone annoys or irritates me, I'll just keep it to myself. When we first moved to West Monroe thirty years ago, there was was a couple we became friends with right away, and we spent a lot of time with them. I'll never forget one day when the wife's dad came to me and said, "I want to tell you, I've been watching you and your wife. You and your family moved here and started hanging out with my kids, and so I wanted to know what kind of people you are. Well, I want to let you know, I like what I see. I really admire you and your family." Another time, a young wife said to Angie, "I want to let you know that my husband and I look at you and Preston as role models. You're the kind of couple we want to be." Ladies and gentlemen, both of those individuals made us feel good!! It also made us have a desire to make sure we lived up to their images of us. With that in mind, my thoughts go back to that young couple I was telling you about earlier. If they knew how we really feel about them, it would probably make them feel just as good as the compliments we received made us feel. I think I'll tell them. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXVI

Two country songs. Two different messages. One is intended to be funny while the other is serious, yet I'm going to attempt to tie the two of them together to make a point. I'll give you the lyrics of the chorus on both of them, and we'll go from there. The first one is from Diamond Rio: I'd start walking your way, and you'd start walking mine. We'd meet in the middle 'neath that old Georgia pine. We gain a lot of ground when we both give a little. Ain't no road too long when we meet in the middle. Then there's one from Mac Davis: Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror, 'cause I get better looking each day. To know me is to love me. I must be one hell of a man. Oh Lord it's hard to be humble, but I'm doing the best that I can. I understand the message from the first one. It's about compromise. In order for any relationship to work, there has to be give and take from both sides. The result is neither side gets everything they want, nor does either side lose everything they want. There's common ground in the middle. Now to the second one. What makes it funny? I think it's because people laugh at things they can relate to. There has to be a degree of truth in it for it to be funny. Naturally, my first reaction is that in no way do I have a hard time being humble, nor do I believe I'm anywhere near thinking I'm hot stuff. Yet, a recent event has caused me to give that topic just a little more thought. I can truthfully say I have never intended to offend anyone, yet at times I do just that. Now, as I look back at what happened a few weeks ago, it's easy for me to see how my words could've been taken wrong and become offensive to the other party. What I meant as a funny way to pay a compliment came across as a crude insult. I should not have said what I said. Therefore, I need to apologize. But it's not that simple. You see, I'm of the opinion that an apology with an excuse is not a real apology. A genuine apology says, "I was wrong. There was no excuse for what I said and I'm sorry." It requires complete humility, and it's not easy for anyone to put himself in that position. "It's hard to be humble." Events such as this have happened to me just a few times in the past. The result was, however, when I humbled myself and did what needed to be done, the other party came around and completely forgave me, bringing the relationship back as if the offense never happened. That took humility on their part. In some cases, they have also apologized for getting so upset. I guess you could say we met "in the middle." For that to happen, though, it took a willingness on my part to to go on past the middle, all the way to their side. What I'm saying is, the other party has taken a share of the blame once I showed I was willing to take it all on myself. For some reason, we humans have a hard time swallowing our pride and humbling ourselves, even when we know it's for the best. We can easily advise someone else to do it, but when we have to do it ourselves, we find it becomes a little more personal. As for now, it's time for me to once again "be humble" and do what has to be done. Here's hoping that soon you'll be able to find me, with my newly reconciled friend "'neath that old Georgia pine." Preston