Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXXVII

I had no choice in the matter, yet if I could go back and do it all over again, this time WITH a choice, I wouldn't change a thing. I just got lucky, I guess, because babies never get to choose their parents, and for me to have been born into the home I was born into was a blessing for which I will always be grateful. We don't have to look far to see children who aren't nearly as fortunate, and when we stop to think about it, it just doesn't seem fair. Much of who I am today is a direct result of the efforts and love of my mom and dad. At first, all my decisions were made by them, then, for the next couple decades, they gradually gave me the authority to make more and more of my own, until I finally reached the point to where 100% of my decisions were made by me. When that time arrived in my life, I had a huge choice to make. The biggest and most important decision a person will ever make is the one concerning his eternal destiny. The second most important, in my opinion, is the choice of who do I want to choose as a mate....the person I want to share the rest of my life with. Sometimes I wonder just how much thought is put into that choice. At that point of a person's life, he has more than likely spent at least twenty years living with parents and will probably not stop long enough to consider the fact that that amount of time is only a fraction of the time he will be spending with this new spouse. I wonder how many young adults pause long enough to consider what kind of mom or dad this person will become. I wonder how many take the time to try to foresee what kind of life he will have as a senior citizen with this prospective spouse. Hopefully they will at least look past the lust long enough to question if this is really love. How many brides-to-be spend more time planning a wedding than they do planning for all the days and years that follow? Angie and I dated for two years before getting married, and during that pre-nuptial period, we had the time to consider all those things, but honestly, I'm not sure just how much thought we put into it. What we did do, however, was make sure about the most important consideration...was it really love. I don't know that we actually thought hard enough to contemplate the possibility that we could potentially spend triple the time with each other as we did with our parents. Thank God we made sure it was love! Speaking of love, we experienced a whole new kind of love when our two kids came along, and I can't imagine a thing that either of them could do that would make us love them any less. The love that a parent has for a child is immeasurable and eternal. Angie and I can't begin to express how much joy those two have brought to our lives. For the rest of our time on earth they will be our kids, yet both of them spent their first two decades of life with us, then moved on....just the way it's supposed to be done. We cherish every moment we get to spend with each one of them, but those moments are now simply visits, and at the end of the day, it's back to just Angie and me. None of us had any options as to what family we would be born into, no more than our own kids had in their births. Like I was saying, I feel fortunate to have the family I had, and hopefully our kids feel the same way. Fortunately for those who feel less lucky in that regards, after about twenty years you will have an opportunity to bail. The one that really matters, though...the one that is eternal, you do have a choice, and that requires a degree of wisdom. I'm reaping the rewards of choosing wisely. So is my wife. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volulme CCCLXXVI

If I've heard it once, I've heard it said a thousand times..."I don't care one iota what other people think about me." Really? Okay then, consider this: Let's say that through your years of marriage, you have never even considered being unfaithful to your husband, yet for some reason, some false information has gotten around, and people's opinions of you suggest otherwise. Are you saying that, since you don't care what people think about you, that wouldn't bother you? Suppose you have always paid your bills in a timely manner, but the word on the street is you're a terrible credit risk. Are you saying that you wouldn't be upset by those allegations? It seems to me that, since I didn't care what people think about me, if I heard there were some rumors about me going around, I wouldn't even care to hear what's being said. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you've heard me talk about the difference between reputation and character, and how our reputation is what others think we are, and our character is what we actually are. In those articles, I stressed the fact that good character is more valuable than a good reputation, and while I continue to stand by that statement, I want to spend time today explaining why I think a good reputation is vital for a successful life. If you and I are having a conversation where we're expressing our opinions, would my opinions mean anything to you, or would you just let them go in one ear and out the other? I think that would depend on your opinion of me. If you thought of me as a windbag who spews out words simply for the joy of hearing myself speak, more than likely, you really wouldn't care to hear what I had to say. On the other hand, if you've known me to use sound judgment in the past, you would find me more interesting. If I want my words to carry weight, I need a good reputation. Would you feel safe in a car I'm driving? Would you trust me around your kids? Would you loan me fifty bucks? I think it would all depend on what you think about me. Sometimes I wish I could view myself through your eyes, but that's because I care about your opinion of me. Perhaps if I don't care what others think of me, it could indicate that I'm a selfish person...someone who feels that it's all about me. If I want to help others, I need others to trust me...and that means I need to have a good reputation. Let me just get down to what I really believe. Sometimes we may carelessly make the statement that we don't give a rip what others think, but if we'll stop and give it some thought, we'll find that we all care. Knowing that makes me feel better. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXXV

As a runner and especially  as a marathoner, I was angered and saddened by the events in the Boston Marathon a few weeks ago. Like most Americans, I stayed glued to the television as they closed in on, and ultimately captured, the second suspect who perpetrated that horrific act of terror.  In fact, if you watched much TV at all during those few days, there wasn't much else to choose from in the way of programming, because that's practically all the news media talked about. I don't blame them for that...they were giving the public what they wanted. The nation watched these events unfold, and as a result, thousands of our citizens are afraid, or at least extremely nervous about attending or participating in events such as marathons or other big sporting events. Chalk one up for the terrorists. That's what they wanted. Like I was saying, the news media were just doing their job. If they hadn't reported those events as they did, there would have been a huge outcry from all of us. However, there are some related events that were NOT reported, and that's what I want to talk about today. Please understand that I don't mean to take away anything from the memory of those innocent victims who lost their lives that morning in Boston...I just want to tell you something that you didn't hear on the news that might make you feel a little less afraid. Here it is:  In this year's  Boston Marathon, tens of thousands of runners and hundreds of thousands of spectators went home safely to their families, just like they had planned. We, as humans, glamorize and focus on the spectacular, and we have a tendency to ignore the normal or most likely occurrences. You, me, and everyone else are gonna die someday, and none of us know when that day will come. Yes, it may be due to an act of terror, but the likelihood of that is minuscule. Just like you, I'm doing all I can to preserve my life for as long as I can, but I refuse to live my life in fear, especially of events that are so extremely unlikely. As a matter of fact, I'm sending you this message from Fargo, North Dakota, where I, along with my wife and some friends, will be participating in the Fargo Marathon tomorrow morning. It may be the last thing I do, but the likelihood of me dying was greater on my way to the airport yesterday morning than it has been at any time since. Approximately 40,000 people die on our highways every year, yet we all are driving just as much or more than ever. More than 600,000 people die from heart disease every year, yet we continue on with our lives as usual, even eating the types of food that increase our risks. Then we freak out when the spectacular happens to a few individuals, and the reason is, just like I said last week, the things we magnify are what appear larger in our lives. Tomorrow morning I will rise early and begin my run without fear, yet I will be running in honor of those who died or were injured in Boston. Sunday afternoon, I will board a plane and head for home without fear. Monday morning I will rise early and begin the long drive to a business meeting in Atlanta. That's when I'll be in the most danger, yet hundreds of thousands of people drive to and from Atlanta every year in complete safety, so I will not fear. Preston Sent from my iPad=

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXXIV

It had been an especially stressful day...you know...that kind of day where everything that can go wrong does go wrong. When I finally had an opportunity to relax and clear my mind that evening, I kicked back in the recliner with a book that I had been reading. It was a biography of a man who had an unusually troubled life as a child, and that trouble followed him on into adulthood, and as I delved into the story that evening, I found myself reading about a young man who was dealing with alcoholism, drug abuse, family turmoil, and a life spent in and out of jail. If I was looking for a little pick-me-up that night, that book was not the place to go, because it was having the opposite effect on me. In retrospect, maybe it WAS what I needed, since it taught me a lesson. Here's how it happened: I was already feeling down, and my book was bringing me down even further. As I was reading, I pulled off my glasses to rub my eyes, and when I put them back on, I noticed a Bible on the table beside my chair. Half unconsciously, I picked it up, laid it on my knees, and opened it, while leaving the book I had been reading in my lap. I now had two books in my lap. One was a story of a man who had a multitude of problems, and the other was a compilation of solutions to all the problems that I and the man I was reading about had been facing. I glanced up at the Bible to see what portion of scripture I had turned to, but the words were blurry and out of focus, so I looked back down at my book to words that were clear and easy to read. So I went back to the book and all of the problems that came with it. It's simple to explain why the words in the Bible were unreadable while the words in my book were so clear. It was my glasses. I describe them as "no-line bifocals," but I think the technical terminology is "progressive lenses." I look through the bottom of the lenses to read, and I look through the top to see more distant objects. Since the book was more in my lap while the Bible was on my knees, when I looked at the book, I looked through the bottom, and when I looked at the Bible, I was looking through the top, causing the words to be out of focus. That's when it hit me. Those lenses are really magnifying glasses, which cause objects to appear larger. When I would look at my book, I was magnifying the problems, yet when I looked at the Bible, the book of solutions, I was treating it as something more distant since I viewed it through the top part of my lenses. I then realized that whatever I magnify will be what appears larger in my life. It's what will be more in focus. I was holding problems in my lap, yet I was holding the solutions in my lap as well, only a couple inches away, but they seemed unclear and out of focus, because I magnified the problems. Had I put forth the tiny effort to trade places with the book and the Bible, I would have reversed the situation, by magnifying the solutions and placing the problems in the "out of focus" area. God was in that Bible, ready to help. All I would've had to do was magnify Him and bring Him into focus. It would've been so easy to do. Instead, I went right back to my problems, while leaving the solutions right there in my lap. I can't really explain why I did that. Maybe it's because, as Barney Fife would say, "I must be some kind of a nut." Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXXIII

It was a long time ago when I reached the stage of life where I could be described as a mature adult, big enough to take care of myself. However, as of right now, I'm still there. As I mentioned just a few weeks ago, it's possible, if I live long enough, that I will one day arrive at the point where I'll need someone else to care for me, but until that time comes, I'd like to make a deal with you: If I'm having issues with another individual and it doesn't involve you, please stay out of it and let me handle it as I see fit. I will, at the same time, offer you the same courtesy. If an individual is being disrespectful to me, and from your point of view, I'm not being aggressive enough in defending myself, please consider the possibility that I may know something about that situation of which you are unaware. I promise you, if I need help, I'll let you know. It could be that I have a strategic plan in dealing with the problem, and any involvement from someone else may completely disrupt what I have working. Sometimes individuals may be perfectly capable of doing whatever they so desire when it comes to defending themselves, yet they choose to remain humble and let it ride. That's called meekness. Now, just to be clear, I want to make it known that I'm really not having any problems with any of my friends in this area, so these words are not being directed at anyone else...I'm aiming them at myself. You see, I have a close friend who is constantly being mocked and disrespected, yet he just takes it and let's it go without saying a word, and I have to fight the urge to jump in and come to his rescue. I have to keep reminding myself that he's stronger and smarter than I am, and if I jump in and start trying to throw my weight around in his defense, I might just be ruining the whole situation for him and his strategy in dealing with it. I've decided to go ahead and tell you who this friend is. It's God. He loves it when I introduce Him to my friends who don't know Him, but when it comes to setting someone straight or punishing someone who may be doing Him wrong, I think He'd rather I allow Him to handle it the way He sees fit. One thing I know, God wants to be friends with whomever is doing Him wrong, and if I jump in and make that less likely to happen, I've just done Him a great disservice. He has made it clear that my job is to bring people to Him, not turn anyone against Him. I've learned that if I stick to my assigned tasks and let Him handle the dirty work as He sees fit, the results will be much better, and everyone is happier. Preston