Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXCI

One day when Lake, my grandson, was about two years old, it was just he and I at my house, and I made the statement, "I'm gonna get some apple juice." Immediately I heard that small voice behind me, "I gonna get appa juice." I poured each of us a glass, and leaned back against the cabinet, and crossed one leg over the other. I looked at him and he was doing the exact same thing as me, with his legs crossed just like mine. Then it hit me: With every move I make, I'm being watched and copied. Not only that, I'm being heard and repeated. When the gravity of that reality sank in, I suddenly became more aware of my words and actions lest I be instrumental in leading a small, impressionable child down a path he shouldn't travel. It wasn't long until I became much more aware of what I was doing or saying. I would start to say something, then I would think about who was listening. Even when I was drinking my tea with my meal, I would hold my glass with both hands, because someone was watching and wanting to do everything just like I did. Then another fact occurred to me. Although Lake was watching me, he watched his parents even more, but his dad had been watching and listening to ME for about twenty-seven years at that time. My words and actions of today and yesterday will have an impact on the type of adult Lake turns out to be, which will in turn affect the life he lives in front of his children and grandchildren. Consequently, generations following me, ones I'll never get to meet, will be impacted by what I do and say today. Do my words and actions carry weight? I should say they do, considering the fact that fifty years from now their effect will still be felt. Am I the type person who gives up and quits when I face the slightest opposition, or do I have a determination of steel? Those behind me are watching. Do I say whatever I need to say just to get me by for that moment, without regard to the truth? Those behind me are listening. What kind of husband and dad am I? Those behind me are watching. Am I faithful to my family, my friends, my boss, and most of all, to God? Those behind me are watching. Am I quick to lose my temper, fly off the handle and yell obscenities? Those behind me are listening. Am I unstable or unreliable? Those behind me are watching. How do I react when I face difficult situations? Those behind me are watching. Am I constantly chasing rainbows, while neglecting the tried and true? Those behind me are watching. Am I a hard worker? Those behind me are watching. One more point: When I refer to "those behind me," it may be more than just my offspring. There may be those who are observing my actions while I'm not even aware of my impact on their lives. It's an awesome responsibility that I should not take lightly. What will be my legacy? Those behind me are watching. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXC

I can only remember seeing my dad cry three times....on the first Mother's Day after my grandmother died, when his brother died, and and the day he backed over my little brother in the car (My brother was not injured. Just the enormity of the whole incident overwhelmed my dad.) As a little boy growing up, I heard over and over, big boys aren't supposed to cry. That one line has replayed in my head practically every time I've felt that knot in my throat and the tears on the verge of surfacing. Big boys don't cry. We're supposed to be tough. I know without a doubt that Dad shed a lot of tears I didn't know about, and honestly, I wish I had seen more tears flowing from his eyes so the embarrassment of being unable to restrain my own tears wouldn't affect me now the way it has since I've become an adult. It's okay for a man to cry.....even in public, but even now in the twenty-first century, we men are subjected to ridicule if we dare allow a tear to surface, or let our voices break while speaking. If you don't believe that, just listen to the way John Boehner is treated after one of his speeches. Women are typically more emotional that us men, so it's just more acceptable for them to be seen shedding tears. Deep down, I know it's really okay for a man to cry, but with a mindset that has been engrained into my head for six decades that tears are taboo, it's hard to just flush it out of my mind all at once. In February, 2014, I was asked to speak at my father-in-law's funeral. After my own dad's death in 1986, I began to look to my wife's dad as my father figure, and on the day of his death I wrote a "straight from the heart" tribute to him. As I read my own words to the congregation that day, I had a difficult time speaking due to my voice breaking and tears flooding my eyes. (Even now, tears are welling in my eyes as I type this.) I admit I felt a degree of humiliation because I couldn't hold back my tears in front of hundreds of people. About a year prior to that time, I had been asked to give my testimony to a Run for God class, and I spoke about some things very personal to me, which also resulted in tears and feelings of embarrassment. That's ridiculous, I know, but I also know there are multiplied millions of other men who can identify with what I'm saying. Several weeks ago in one of these blogs, I wrote about the Jason Crabb song, "Sometimes I Cry," and I spoke about how there are times when I'm alone, I cry. Well, today I'm here to tell you, as some of you have witnessed, sometimes I cry when I'm NOT alone, even though I'm a man! I'm happy to announce I've reached the point to where I don't worry about it that much any more. I'm bigger than that now. Yes, I know the old cliché is still out there that "big boys don't cry," but I have a rebuttal to that statement: Tough ones do. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXIX

When I was a kid growing up, I had an uncle I really admired and respected. He was very athletic, and he and I spent many hours together hiking in the woods or riding bicycles along all the roads in the Nebo area. He died suddenly when he was in his early forties and I was in my twenties, but I still remember much of the advice he gave me. One of the pieces of advice I received from him is what I want to focus on today: "When someone offers you something, take it." When I think about it, it really makes sense. After all, if they offer it, they must not mind giving it to me. If they offer it but they don't actually want to give it to me, it will be a learning experience for them....to never offer something they don't want to give. There's one more very compelling reason to take that advice, and I want to illustrate it with a story I heard a few years ago. A young couple found themselves in dire financial straits, and they were in a situation where they had three days to pay their electricity bill or they would be cut off. In desperation, they finally prayed for God to come to their rescue. The next day, a friend from church called and asked if they could keep her three kids overnight, and she offered to pay them almost exactly what they needed to get caught up on their electricity bill. The young bride was heard telling someone a few days later, "I had prayed for God to help us, but before He could get to it, my friend from church payed me to babysit, and that gave us enough to pay it." I have news for that young lady, and this is the other reason to take my uncle's advice.....God works through people. I'm reminded of Luke 6:38 which says, "Give and it shall be given to you, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, shall men give into your bosom." The point there is if we give, we will receive, but it specifies that when we receive, it will be from other people. God works through people. Without a doubt, there are many people who are instrumental in carrying out the work of God who never have any idea that's what they're doing. For others, there is no doubt in their minds that their work is part of a divine plan. It makes me wonder if there have been times when God was using me for His purpose and I didn't even know it. Who knows....maybe it's better that way. I sure don't want to be the one taking credit for something that's really God's work. However, it would be nice to know that I was following His plan and direction. I'll say it one more time....God works through people. Therefore, if He wants to use someone else to bless me, I'll let Him. If somebody offers me something, I'll take it. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXVIII

When I first started my business, a lady in a neighboring showroom at the Dallas Apparel Mart told me she wanted to speak to me about something. The gist of what she had to say was that her territory with a few of the lines she was carrying included Louisiana and Mississippi, and since she was Dallas based, she just couldn't get to those states as often as needed, due to her busy schedule. She wanted to know if I was interested in covering those two states for her. That was just the boost I needed to get my business up and running, so we made a deal. The arrangement worked well for both of us for three or four years until my own business had grown to the point to where I just didn't have time to do her lines justice, so I resigned. We parted ways as friends, and have remained so down through the years, although our respective businesses have taken different turns, and I just don't see her as often. Well, yesterday I saw her, so I sat down with her and her husband to "catch up" on what has been going on in each others' lives. I left feeling depressed. Things have taken a downward turn for her, and I've never heard such negative talk coming from her in the nearly thirty years of our acquaintance. I tried to encourage her, but I felt awkward and didn't really know what to say. One of the hardest things to do is to keep a positive attitude when life throws us lemons, and I'm speaking with the voice of experience. However, an upbeat frame of mind is vital to get us back on our feet and back into the victory column. I've seen it work both ways in sports. Joe Montana was a master at it. I don't know how many times I've seen him down by as much as twenty-one points late in the game, yet he never gave up and never stopped believing he could pull out a win....and so many times he did just that. I've also seen the dejected looks on the faces of players who were behind, and every time I've seen those looks, they lost. When things are spiraling downward, a negative attitude only hastens our demise. Our attitude also affects those around us. Several years ago, my wife discovered just how contagious her attitude could be. When she walked into her office on Monday morning with a frown on her face, talking about how much she was dreading that day and week, it wouldn't be long until the entire office staff had the same frame of mind, and sure enough, it was a bad week. However, there were other days, when even though they knew they had a hard week ahead, if she walked in with a smile on her face and talked about how she was ready for the week's challenges, soon the entire staff would be laughing, and that tough week ended up not being so bad after all. A few weeks ago I mentioned a friend who is going through a divorce, yet every time I see her, she has a smile on her face. Trust me, she is feeling pain, but I have a good feeling about her future, all because of the positive way in which she is dealing with her problem. Whatever my situation is today, it's gonna change. Nothing ever stays the same. Without a doubt, I have problems in my future that at this point I can't see coming. I'm not worrying about them, though, because I know I will get through them. And again, I'm speaking with the voice of experience. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXXXVII

I'm one of the fortunate ones! There are people, both family and friends, who will think about me several times today. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but if I disappeared tomorrow, many of them would be frantically searching for me....not giving up until I was found. Today is a travel day for me, and I can board my flights with the assurance that prayers will be going up on my behalf, asking God to keep his hand of protection on me until I'm safely at home. What an awesome feeling it is just knowing I'm loved, and having that love expressed to me. The most compassionate act performed by a mother turtle is when she looks for a safe place to lay her eggs. Once the eggs are laid and covered, she is done, and she heads back into the water, never to check on her kids again. We humans are polar opposites. Although we rarely use these exact words, from the cradle to the grave, we plead, "Please love me!" A baby's first cry is a plea for love. When a person's life is about to end, they long to have all their loved ones with them for that final breath. All the time in between those two moments, we crave love. Perhaps you have known individuals who were craving love and acceptance so desperately, when you showed them special attention, they would cling to you as if they would never let you go. I believe that's why, in the first part of Genesis 2:18, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone..." A few weeks ago, I wrote about the different contexts from which we use the phrase "I love you," but expressing love requires so much more than words. I recently heard the statement that the average human needs to be physically touched by another human at least eight times a day. Just a little pat on the shoulder, a light hug, a light touch on the arm, etc. may seem insignificant, but trust me, they are noticed. Another way of expressing love is to make sure we let others know we are thinking about them. A card, text, call, or email that says, "I'm thinking of you today" can brighten the day and lift the spirits of practically any warm blooded human being. What an awesome feeling it is when I know I've lifted someone's spirits, and today I have an opportunity to do just that. Whose day can you brighten? Will you make a positive difference in someone's life today? There are those of you among my family and friends who will be reading this article who regularly make what may seem like small gestures to me in the way of calls and texts that just let me know I'm important to you. As small as these acts may seem, they appear large from my point of view. You know who you are, but I don't know if you're aware just how much they mean to me. I'm one of the fortunate ones! Preston