Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXXIX

I'm an artist. So are you. Whatever we do, when others can see us, we're painting a picture for those who may be observing us at that moment, and it may not look at all how we want others to see it. To better explain what I mean, I will give you four short examples.....true stories others have told me as well as one I experienced myself. A man in New York was on the subway headed home from work. He was tired and wasn't in the mood for any kind of disturbance. Everything seemed to be going as he wished until at one stop a man and his three small children boarded the car he was riding. Almost immediately, the kids were climbing the walls while the dad just stared ahead, seemingly oblivious to the commotion caused by his offspring. Finally, the tired worker could take it no longer, so he complained to the dad, "Sir, your children are out of control." The dad looked up and replied, "Oh! Yes....I guess they are." He then explained, "We're on our way home from the hospital where their mother just died, and and they don't know how to deal with it. To be honest, I don't either. I'm not sure what we're gonna do." The worker's attitude changed instantly, but what about the other passengers in that car who didn't hear the conversation? As sad as that story is, the only thing they saw was a group of out of control kids and a dad who was doing nothing about it. We can't blame them for their frustration. A lady from my church told this next story. She said one of her pet peeves is when shoppers in the super market ignore the twenty item limit in the express check-out lane and attempt to go through that line with a cart full of groceries. A few weeks ago she had her own cart full, and she made her way to the appropriate check-out lane. The next lane over was the express check-out, and no one was in it. The express lane cashier said to her, "Come on over to my lane and I'll check you out." She replied, "I have more than twenty items." The checker then said, "It's okay. There's no one here anyway." So she moved. As soon as the cashier started scanning her items, a man walked up behind her with only two items, and it was obvious he was frustrated. He had a right to be disgusted, but my friend cannot be blamed for her actions either. She was doing nothing wrong, but the picture she was painting was that of a woman who was abusing the express lane twenty item policy, and the man with two items had a right to be disgruntled. A woman was planning a surprise fiftieth birthday party for her husband, and she wanted to rent a ballroom in a local hotel, so she made arrangements to go with the party planner to check it out before paying the deposit. It just so happened, however, that her husband passed that hotel at the same time, and what he saw was his wife walking into a hotel with another man. She was attempting to do something good, but the picture her husband saw was anything but good, and it's easy to understand why he would be upset. One more: Angie and I went to a restaurant one night with a group of friends, and I had to go to the restroom while we were there. I noticed there was someone in the stall right next to the urinal, and while I was washing my hands just before I exited, I heard the flush in the stall and a restaurant employee walked past me without stopping to wash his hands. I walked out just in time to see him walking back into the kitchen. I feel certain there's a sink in the kitchen he could use to wash his hands, but I have no way of knowing if he actually used it, so let's just give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he did. The restaurant could claim that since the employee followed company procedure, I have no legitimate complaint. However, the picture I saw was an employee ignoring the rules of proper hygiene, so whether he did or didn't wash his hands, can you understand why I'll never eat there again? My point is this: You and I can be on opposite sides of an issue, yet neither of us are really in the wrong. Both sides can have legitimate gripes about the other, and even present good arguments for each side of the issue and both of us be right. Our arguments are over superficial things, and it's all due to the pictures we've painted. Preston