Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXIV

The philosophy that says "I don't care what others think about me" is completely foreign to me, so lest there be any doubt, your opinion of me is something I DO CARE about. That's the reason I was so taken aback just a few days ago when I got a little dose of reality. It dawned on me that I've been giving forth vibes that cause others to have a false impression of what I really believe. If my actions cause others to form an opinion of me that's different from who I actually am, something needs to change. You and I each have our own set of personal standards we use to guide us in conducting our personal lives. In many ways, your standards will be similar to mine, but in just as many ways, they will be different. That does not mean one set is superior to the other, although, as humans, we may have a tendency to be critical of those who don't live by our set of standards. Living lives that are morally and ethically pure should top all our lists of standards, but otherwise, what's right for you may not be the same as what's right for me. Trouble starts when I try to impose my standards on you. I hope I'm not doing that, but somehow, I have apparently been giving the impression that I do. If my actions make you believe I'm uncomfortable in your presence as you live by your set of standards, I need to step back and re-examine how I act when I'm around you, because if I make you believe I'm uncomfortable in your presence, you WILL BE uncomfortable in my presence, and that's not how I want to live. This does not mean I have to change my standards when I'm with you, nor should you alter yours when you're with me. We should be able to co-exist without being forced to live identical lives. I have always believed we should all live a disciplined lifestyle, which means that none of us should have a haphazard way of conducting ourselves. Keeping myself in check, however, is a full time job, which means you're on your own when it comes to living your life. I'm a flawed individual, and so are you. The trouble is, the mistakes I make are not the same as yours, so if I overlook my own faults as I focus on yours, I'm doing both of us a disservice, and if I even give the impression that I have a "holier than thou" or a self righteous attitude, I'm not being the kind of Christian I want to be. Maybe that's where I've been. If so, shame on me. If you just knew how I really feel, I believe your opinion of me would change...for the better. Preston