Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDXXV

  A few days ago a young lady posted something on Facebook that rubbed me the wrong way. Naturally, my initial instinct was to come back with a response that would set her straight and leave no doubt in anyone's mind as to where I stood on that situation, so I picked up my iPad and began my rant. A couple sentences later, however, I stopped and asked myself, "What are you doing?"  I quickly erased the words I had just written so I could give myself enough time to more carefully consider exactly what I wanted to say and how to say it.  As I sat there thinking, another question came to my mind, "What will this accomplish?"  Thankfully  it was at that moment when sound reasoning took over my mind and a cooler head prevailed. If I had answered my question with, "It would accomplish nothing," that would not have been a true statement, because something would have been accomplished.  The first thing I would've accomplished is hurting that young lady's feelings. Secondly, it would likely have set off a public dispute on social media that I would not have wanted to be a part of.  Now that more water has gone under the bridge and a few days have passed, I no longer have the desire to weigh in and sound off, although I still don't like what she said. You, me, and everyone else have moments in our lives when something will set us off and cause us to temporarily lose our temper, and that threshold is different for each of us.  As a general rule, I'm pretty good about keeping my temper in check, but on occasion, there are times when something will pull my trigger and cause a temper flare-up, and I say things that would be better left unsaid.  In most cases, within a short period of time after that happens, I will end up feeling totally ashamed of myself. That doesn't mean I become okay with the event that brought on my outburst, it's just that I have time to realize that explosive tempers rarely result in desired solutions to the situation. One day I was on my way to an appointment at Prien Lake Mall in Lake Charles, Louisiana, and I was in a hurry.  I passed a kiosk where an aggressive young salesman was flagging down shoppers so he could pitch his products. When I walked by in my typical mall fast-walk, he approached me and said, "Sir, may I have five seconds of your time?"  I stopped and said, "Five seconds."  He began showing his product and five seconds later I said, "Time's up" and walked on.  It was only a couple minutes later that I said to myself, "Preston, you're a jerk."  Even now, months later, I still have no interest in what he was trying to sell, and I don't like his sales tactics, but I do regret that I wasn't nicer and didn't handle it in a more diplomatic manner.  Fortunately, moments like that for me are more the exception than the rule, but when they happen, I still begin to regret them almost immediately. A moment of anger can destroy a lifetime of peace when we don't stop and let some time pass before we jump in and sound off.  The young man in the mall was someone I'll likely never see again, but there are times when friendships can be destroyed by momentary temper flare-ups.  Regarding the young lady who made the offensive post on Facebook and the man in the mall, most of us are less likely to mix it up with someone when our responses are written and it takes time to form our words.  It's those verbal rants that are more likely to get us in trouble.  Yes, there are times when something needs to be said, but in most situations, we'll be happier with the outcome when we think before we speak.  I don't mind saying "I'm sorry for what I said," but I prefer situations where no apology is needed. Preston