Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXXXI

Everything seems to be okay now, but there was a short period of time when it wasn't. Without realizing what I was doing, I said something that upset a good friend. When this friend brought it to my attention, I felt HORRIBLE!! I wasted no time in offering a sincere, from the bottom of my heart apology, and just as quickly, forgiveness was granted. I honestly believe that from my friend's perspective, it's all now in the past, but as for me, I feel a great deal of relief, but I'm not quite yet completely over it, even though it has been several months. I'll explain what I mean shortly, but first let me tell you how I ended up on this topic today. A couple weeks ago, one of our pastors was speaking, and in his lesson he mentioned a survey he had seen. A popular ladies magazine had asked its readers to send in the words they most want to hear. No doubt most of the respondents were women, but I feel certain with men the results would have been much the same. Most all of us would likely be able to guess the number one answer: "I love you." What do you think the number two response would be for the words people most want to hear? It's "I forgive you." If that's the number two response, right behind "I love you," that tells me every one of us will mess up from time to time and find ourselves in need of forgiveness. That's a fact we need to keep in mind as we move through the rest of this article. I have good friends. True friends. Friends who love me like I love them, and that explains why forgiveness for my transgression was so quick in coming. Now to the question of why I'm only feeling partial relief from the words "I forgive you." True repentance requires real sorrow, which means that my repentance was genuine, because my sorrow was authentic. The entire matter is now behind us, except for one thing...I still have feelings of regret because I wish I wouldn't have said what I said. Hurtful words can't be unsaid. Here's my point: If I'm still feeling bad over this issue, how much worse would I be feeling if I hadn't heard those three powerful words, "I forgive you!" The top two responses for the words people most want to hear: "I love you" and "I forgive you!" Think about it. Can I say the most desired words, "I love you," and yet withhold the second set of words, "I forgive you?" I think not. If I refuse to forgive you, that means I must not care about how you're feeling about your mistake, which means I can't honestly say "I love you." One more thing: Can I expect others to forgive me when I refuse to forgive others? Matthew 6:15 can give you a good perspective on that question. Now, as for MY friends, we forgive each other because we love each other. We say to each other the words we all want to hear most: "I love you" and "I forgive you." Yep, I have good friends. The best!! Preston