Thinking Out Loud, Volume DXXX

"Okay, so I made a bad decision and I regret it, but you have to understand....I was mad at the time." Notice I have that statement in quotation marks, but I didn't list the person's name who said it. Well, it was me. And chances are, you have made the same kind of statement in the past as well. One hard lesson I've learned is not to make rash decisions during periods when my emotions are running high. As a general rule, I'm a fairly low key guy, and I usually am able to keep my temper in check, even though on the inside I may be seething and want to completely walk away from some people forever. I assure you, though, if I did that every time I was tempted to do so while in a state of anger, my friend list would be much smaller today....and it would be all my fault for making a regrettable decision during a time when I didn't need to be making decisions. The only decision that should be made at such a time is the decision to put off making decisions until I've had a chance to cool down. Yes, on rare occasions, my best bet might be to walk away and put my relationship with that person completely in my past, but that decision would need to be based on a consistent pattern of behavior and not on a one time occurrence. As I think about this topic, I have to wonder how many times I've angered a friend, and at that moment, that person wanted to be completely done with me. Thankfully, on most occasions, those people have waited until their emotions were calmer before writing me off. Here's the kicker: It's not just in times of anger when we need to make sure we put off making big decisions. I remember when I was a youth, a man who was a friend of my parents told me about a time when he met a gorgeous young woman and fell head over heels in love with her instantly. They decided to go get married immediately. Each of them called a friend who could serve as best man and maid of honor, and they headed toward a meeting with the Justice of the Peace. Suddenly a severe storm blew in, making travel practically impossible, so they decided to put off their wedding till the next weekend. By that time, both of their emotions had cooled down, resulting in another postponement of the nuptials. That was many years ago, and the two of them have never even seen each other since. If their love affair was so shallow they never even bothered to call each other to discuss their wedding, thank God for the storm that slowed them down until cooler heads prevailed. There are good, well intentioned people who will play on our emotions when they want us to donate money, or obligate ourselves to a monthly pledge for a cause they are promoting. It's good to do that. I give to charitable causes, but I still believe we should wait until we are not caught up in the emotion of the moment before making that decision so we can choose how much we want to donate based on logic rather than on emotions. My main point is when we are caught up in the emotion, any kind of emotion, of the moment, it may not be the best time to make decisions that will have long term consequences for our lives or the lives of the people we care about. The fact of the matter is the effects of our decisions will continue to be with us long after the emotions of the moment have passed. I remember hearing a man tell me, "You may one day meet a girl who is so pretty you will want to eat her up, and then after you marry her, you will wish you would have." Preston