Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCL

I'm not a fan of shopping, so if you're trying to find me, the mall might not be the most logical place to look. However, I admit, I probably average going there with my wife at least a couple times a year, and when I do, I like sitting on one of the benches in the hallway. As long as I don't have to stay there all day, I can actually enjoy sitting there, because I'm a people watcher. I really feel that after years of experience, I've gotten pretty good at reading people. I like to look at their facial expressions to see if I can determine their frame of mind and whether or not they're happy. When I use the term "happy," I'm not referring to their situation at that particular instant, which means that smiles on their faces won't necessarily answer my question. What I'm really wondering is are they living a happy life. Happy people can sometimes be angry. Happy people can sometimes be sad. By the same token, people who are generally unhappy can have moments of temporary elation. So what does it take to make someone genuinely happy? When we first start compiling that list, the things that we may typically want to include may not should be on the list at all. I'm referring to things like, "He's financially set," or "She usually ends up getting her way." In my few short decades of people watching, I've concluded that happy people are not "me-focused" people. Those who are constantly in a flux to get ahead of the next guy are not the ones who are living a happy life, although they will feel moments of satisfaction with each person they surpass along the way; then that moment is gone and they're back in a dither to move ahead of someone else. In essence, I believe the happiest people on earth are the ones who are genuinely at peace with themselves. I've known people who can make friends fairly easily, but when it comes to hanging on to those friends, that's an entirely different story, and that's because they start to use those newfound friends to achieve their own selfish wishes and whims. The next thing that happens is the friends begin to pull away, leaving them, once again, lonely and alone. On the other hand, the happiest people I know are the ones who are constantly looking to see what they can do for those around them with little consideration for their own convenience. I've come to the conclusion that the recipe for true happiness is to simply place the convenience and happiness of others ahead of your own. (Isn't it funny how when we actively work toward someone else's benefit, we end up benefitting ourselves?) Being able to spot those people while sitting on a bench in the mall is not always easy, but I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, although it would be difficult to explain. I guess the best way to explain it is there seems to be a look of peace in their eyes. Preston