How many times has this scenario played out at your house? You're relaxing on your couch or in your recliner, and the doorbell rings. You go to the door and find a friend or a neighbor there needing to ask you about something, borrow something, or maybe return something that he had previously borrowed from you. You then say, "Hey, how are you?! Come on in." So far everything is cool and everybody's on the up and up...until you speak again. "Please excuse this messy house. Everything's been so crazy around here lately that we just haven't had time to keep it up the way we like to do." Now if you were to be totally one hundred per cent truthful, you would've had to say it like this, "Please excuse this messy house. We've been pretty busy around here lately, but that's really no excuse, because this is the way our house looks most of the time. In fact, when you rang the doorbell, I wasn't straightening anything; I was kicked back in my recliner, taking it easy."
So...what just happened? Here's my opinion: We just made a subtle attempt to deceive our guests. (I'm using the term "we" because I think we're all guilty of doing the same thing from time to time.) We want them to think that as a general rule, our house is immaculate, although if we knew the truth of the matter, the guests are glad to see the house as it is, because it makes them feel better about their own house, which probably looks just like ours. I think we just revealed one aspect of our own human nature, which brings me to my primary topic for today.
If I'm completely honest, I'll have to admit that the Preston that everyone around me sees is not always the "me" that I see when I look in the mirror. It's almost like I have two identities...the one that's genuine, and the one I present to the public. I've heard it said that the primary difference between reputation and character is this: My reputation is what other people think of me, and my character what I really am. That leads me to ask the questions, "How big a gap is there between my character and my reputation?," and "Is it always a bad thing to present myself in a manner that is not real?"
One of the things I love about small children is they haven't yet learned that art of deception, so if they act like they're happy to see me, they really are. By the same token, if they are not happy to see me, they'll let me know, and that's when the parents start teaching them to "be nice" and act happy, even if they're not. Of course, if I have a bad case of the mulligrubs, it's best that I don't display those feelings to the world. Yet with all of that said, it's most likely that most of us should probably work to bring our reputations and our characters closer together, but how do we do it? Which of the two do we need to change? I've given it some thought and here's my conclusion: Both.
Preston
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