Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCLXXIV

She impressed me when I first met her back in the early nineties, although she was just a little girl at the time. Jansen Leach was so sweet, so beautiful, so intelligent, and so talented. Today she is a grown woman, and I love her even more because I can now place the words "even more" in front of each of the adjectives that I just used to describe her. I asked her to be my guest writer this week because she and her husband, Mike, have an awesome story to tell, and she has so graciously granted my request.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I now introduce to you my dear and long-time friend, Jansen Martinez.

Preston


On February 10, 2010, my husband and I experienced the best and yet suffered the worst day of our lives. The best because we met our firstborn children...the worst because we had this first meeting much too soon. After a week and a half in the hospital, just short of 23 weeks of pregnancy, my body could not fight the preterm labor any longer. At 2:57 p.m., our baby boy was born, and at 2:58 p.m., our baby girl quickly followed. His features, even his hairline, were mostly like those of his father, except for his toes which were undeniably like mine. She, on the other hand, was more like me, with the same round face I had as a baby. All in all, they were perfect...their eyes, noses, mouths and gums, ears, ten fingers, ten toes...even features like their eyebrows and fingernails...all were perfect. The hours we held them seemed like minutes, and the minutes they lived seemed like seconds, but oh what precious hours, minutes, and seconds they were!

In March, Mike and I decided to return to church. We had tried once before, but the experience was simply too much...the sea of people, the awkward glances, the joyful upbeat music. Emotionally neither of us was ready to face any of these things again quite yet, but Jerry Holland, a favorite evangelist/prophet of mine was ministering this particular week. I thought, "Maybe...just maybe...he will have a word from God for us," and I pled to God that this would be true. Sure enough, every word of the sermon seemed to speak directly to Mike and me. When the congregation was invited to pray at the end of the service, I headed to the front of the church, and shortly after, Mike came to my side. As we stood there, feeling desperate and broken, the evangelist made his way to us and, without knowing anything that had transpired over the past month or so, began to prophesy over us. Among other things, he said that whatever my husband and I were going through was not meant to destroy us but was simply a test of faith...God had already ordered things...things that had not yet come to pass but that God had already ordered. The minister reiterated this prophecy over us at the end of another service that same week.

In April, a fellow church member shared a vision with me that God had given him one Sunday morning at the conclusion of service as we all stood at the front of the church. In the vision, I was kneeling down while a little boy was tightly hugging me. Then a second child almost knocked me over as he/she ran into my arms from the opposite side. None of us knew exactly what this vision may mean, but I definitely took it as something from God and stored it in my memory.

With all of these words that had been spoken over and given to Mike and me, I decided to read the book of Job, a man who experienced his own test of faith. I knew that Job lost everything...his money, health, family...everything. In the end, however, Job proved himself faithful, and God restored unto Job all that he had lost. Let me emphasize that in no way do I liken myself to Job or my faith to that of this man. Many days I struggled to have any faith at all...feeling angry, confused, betrayed, failed. Through His grace and mercy, however, God began to strengthen my faith and trust in Him again. My prayer became this: "God, first have Your will in my life and that of my husband. I do not want to pray anything into our lives that is outside of Your will. But if it be Your will, please restore my husband and me as you restored Job." I believed that all Mike and I had experienced was the beginning of a story...a testimony. I refused to believe that the passing of our children was the end.

In March of this year, Rev. Holland, the same evangelist that had prophesied over us just one year ago returned. Again, I prayed that God would give him a word of encouragement and reassurance for Mike and me...and indeed, He did. The evangelist said, "God is giving you a story for His glory. You will be amazed at how wonderful everything will be when it was once so bad." What the evangelist did not know, however, was that in February Mike and I had found out that we are expecting again!

When I read Job last year, I noticed a detail about Job's ordeal that I had never realized in past reading or teaching. When Job lost his children, he lost three daughters and seven sons. In the end, when God restored everything unto Job, He restored unto him exactly that which he had lost...three daughters and seven sons. Remember my prayer..."God, please restore my husband and me as You restored Job." So just as we lost one daughter and one son last year, God has restored unto us one daughter and one son...due this fall! God has heard my prayer and performed nothing short of a miracle! All glory, honor, and praise be to Him!!!

Jansen