Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCXLI

Some of you will know first hand what I'm talking about, but so far, up to this point in my life, I've never had to experience it. As a matter of fact, I had never given it much thought until my mom discussed it with me one day. What I'm talking about is one simple word...loneliness. No doubt many of you could write on this topic much better than I due to your personal experiences. It is most common among the elderly, although many younger people who suddenly find themselves living alone have to deal with it as well. I read a story about an old lady who called the police to report that something had been stolen from her home. When the police arrived, they became a little suspicious when she had a hard time describing the stolen items, but before they left, she asked them to please stay and try some of her freshly baked cookies. Their suspicion grew as her calls became more frequent, and finally they got her to admit that she was calling them because she was lonely. After that, some of the police force would stop by to check on her from time to time. When Mom was still living, I, as well as all my siblings, would check on her on a regular basis, but with the busy lives we all live, we didn't talk to her every day. Sometimes I look back with regret that I didn't call her every morning, but to be honest, I just naturally assumed that she had her friends all around her who would spend time with her and keep her busy. And yes, her friends did keep close tabs on her, but they all also had their own issues of life that had to be tended to, so their contact with her was much like mine. Then one day, sitting on her front porch, we talked about it. She told me about some aspects of loneliness that I had never thought about. For example, have you ever thought about how it would feel to go for a couple days without having the occasion to use your voice? Lonely people experience that all the time. Sure, there's always a phone sitting there just waiting to be used, but most people want to make sure they're not too much of a bother to other people, and besides that, have you ever given any thought to how important it is for us to actually touch other people? It is vital for each one of us to make the phrase "staying in touch" become literal in our lives. How do you greet your good friends and family members that you haven't seen in a while? For most of us, there will be hugs, pats on the back, or handshakes...and in some cases all three. When an individual goes for days without physically touching another human, they start to crave that contact. And while we're on that topic, as important as it is to touch someone else, it is equally important to be touched by others. There's just something about a touch that says, "You're someone I care about." Unless we're just completely self-centered people, each of us would like to make a positive difference in someone else's life, and I can think of no better way to accomplish it than to befriend someone who is lonely. Naturally, I'm not talking about doing it to see what we can get out of it, but I've learned that when I maintain a true "it's not about me" attitude, I'm the one who benefits the most. Preston