Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXIII

Bertha knew what she was doing. I did too. She was testing my limits. I was the new store manager in our Lafayette store, so it was natural for the employees to test the new boss to see what my limits were and to see what they could or could not get away with. On this particular morning, she came dressed in clothing that didn't measure up to company policy. I handled it like this, "Bertha, do you go home for lunch?" She replied, "Yes sir, I do." "Could you do me a favor?" "Sure. What do you need?" "I need for you to slip into something more uncomfortable, so when you come back you'll be dressed according to the rules." She stood silent for a moment, then said, "Awe, Mr. Davidson, you're being mean." Me: "I know, but I'm doing it in a nice way, aren't I? Thank you for doing that for me." She complied, and it was never an issue again. The same thing had happened to me at the previous location where I had worked, but I had handled the situation differently. A young lady named Andrea had come to work dressed in an old tee shirt and a ragged pair of jeans, which was expressly against the rules, and she knew it. I had a right to be upset with her, and let me just say I exercised that right...in no uncertain terms. She came to work the next morning and quit her job, which meant that I had to hurry and find a new employee and then train her to do the work that Andrea knew how to do quite proficiently. I had brought unnecessary difficulty to my job due to the unwise manner in which I had dealt with that situation. No two human beings will see every situation the same, and as a result, conflicts are sure to arise, such as the examples I just gave where two employees knowingly and purposely violated their terms of employment. I was within my rights to speak to Andrea the way I did, but it was obviously not the most wise course of action. Bertha was a good employee for the rest of the time I was in that store, but if I had treated her the way I had treated Andrea, that would not have been the case. When we speak harshly to people, they will become angry and defensive even when they know they were in the wrong. Name calling and hurtful words do not produce the best results. I've heard people argue that they used harsh rhetoric to make sure that they adequately expressed their opinion, but what is more important, expressing opinions or achieving positive outcomes? One of my fellow managers told me one time that he enjoyed the feeling of power he felt when he could fire an employee, but he soon learned how it felt to be on the receiving end of that situation when his boss fired him....not the result he was looking for. I don't recall an era in my lifetime when our country has been as deeply divided as it is now, and the rude comments about the opposition that I'm hearing all the way from the President down to the man on the street, from both sides, are only making the situation worse. And just because my opposition says nasty things about me doesn't mean I should reciprocate. How long has it been since we obeyed Matthew 5:44 and "prayed for those who spitefully used us?" On a daily basis we see individuals who have let their morals go to the dogs, but before we decide to let them know just how awful they are, maybe we could pause to remember our own past mistakes and to recall just how badly we needed to know that someone loved us. If I tell someone how bad they are under the guise of having the right to speak my mind, what good have I accomplished? Actually, what I've spent five paragraphs trying to say, Paul said perfectly in one verse, I Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial; Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." Let me put it this way: It's legal for me to eat two dozen donuts every day, but it would also be stupid. So I don't do it. Preston