Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCVII

Her name was Melanie, and she was a good girl who refused to see the bad in anyone. Melanie was a fictitious character in the classic novel "Gone With the Wind," but there are some real life individuals who share the same frame of mind that she did. I've tried to make it a habit to be as much like her as possible, but is it good to totally trust everyone? I've heard it said that there's some good to be found in every person on earth, but I regret to inform you that there are some folks out there who would not think twice about harming you or anyone else with whom they come in contact. I also know some people who are Melanie's opposite...they trust no one, and they'll be the first to admit it. Naturally, as a result, when someone wants to harm a fellow human being, it's the folks like Melanie who are most vulnerable to these bad characters.

So when I say that I've made it a habit to try to be more like Melanie, does that mean that I want to emulate society's most vulnerable individuals? Of course not! But I do have to ask myself if I would rather be a person who sees only the good in my fellow man, or would I rather be one who seeks only the bad? The obvious response would be to settle somewhere between the two extremes, but do I err on the side of the more trusting, or on the side of the more skeptical? Before we jump to a conclusion, let's take a look at a common scenario and see if it will give us some more insight as to where we need to be. Let's say we hire someone to do some work for us at our home. Should we pay him before the work is completed, or should we wait until we are totally satisfied before we write the check? I think most of us would say we should opt for the latter...don't pay until the work is done. But what if you're the person who has been hired to do the work? Do you risk buying the needed materials and then go do the work when you don't know if the person who hired you can be trusted to pay you when you've completed the job? It's a situation where one of the parties has to be more trusting more than the other. I'm a self employed contractor in the sales industry, and I have to travel a three state territory at my own expense in order to see the clients that will hopefully buy my product. In most cases, I don't receive a dime until I've made the sale, the merchandise has been shipped, and the invoice has been paid. I will be the first to tell you that there have been times when I never received a penny for my work, even after I had spent my own money on hotels, gas, and food, not to mention the fact that I spent days working with absolutely zero compensation. But although I've been burned, I have no choice but to go back out there with a different product and try it all over again. Fortunately, those bad experiences have been few and far between, but that's because most people are good and can be trusted.

By this stage of my life, I've pretty much settled in on where I fit on this scale, and it's between the two extremes, but closer to Melanie's side of the equation. At night when I go to bed, I make sure all the doors are locked. When I'm in my car, I try to always be aware of all the other traffic in case someone else is being careless. On the other hand, as a runner, although I try to be extremely alert at all times, I place my very life in the trust of all the drivers who are on same road as me when I'm on my morning runs. I think it would be a miserable life to be skeptical of almost every person I meet, and I also believe that if I want you to trust me, then I need to be willing to offer you the same courtesy. So, do I trust you? Yes, I do....until you give me a reason why I shouldn't.

Preston