Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLVI

Bon Voyage. Have a good trip. Drive safe. Those are all comments we make to our friends when they're about to embark on a journey. They're phrases we all use very casually, although we do mean it, because, after all, we certainly don't wish for anything bad to happen to them. However, when I think about those words, my mind goes back to the days prior to January, 2007, when my mom was still living. I often made that hour and a half trip over to her house, and every time when I started to leave, she would say, "Son, please be careful." I assure you, there was a difference in the way those words were spoken compared to the way we so casually throw them around. It was more like a desperate plea that came from every fiber of her being, from the top of her head to the end of her toes. I believe even someone from Peru or China, who didn't understand a word she was saying, would have been able to detect that difference in her tone of voice. If you have an infant who has not yet learned to talk, or maybe even a pet who will never learn to speak, chances are, they have already grasped the ability to interpret your tone of voice. Speak soft, gentle, loving words to your baby, and she will respond in kind, but if you speak harshly to her, she will pucker and begin to cry. I remember one time when I was in college, living in the dorm, and I had stepped across the hall to visit my friends when I heard my phone ringing in my room. A long-haired boy named Cholla who lived down the hall had put some fake teeth in his mouth and pulled his hair in front of his face, and he was waiting in my room. He had someone else dial my number to get me to my room. I opened my door and grabbed the phone just as Cholla came at me saying "Ooooooooooo." I tried to be cool and answer my phone, but I said "HELLO" loud enough to wake the dead. It was no use pretending it didn't scare me because my tone of voice with just the word "hello" gave my secret away. If you're upset with me, regardless of what you say, your tone of voice will tell me how you really feel. In my line of work, I've learned to determine if a potential client is interested in my product....not so much by what he says, but more in how he says it. Tone of voice will indicate fear, anger, desperation, nervousness, love, frustration, sincerity, admiration, apathy, etc. It takes a skilled communicator to be able to override and mask how he really feels, especially to a good listener. Parents, specifically mothers, have a special sense of being able to recognize the fact that something is not right with her children, even when they insist "everything is fine." With my job that requires a lot of travel, I often hear the words, "travel safe," and they really mean it. But when my mom said it, although she may have used the exact same words, the phrase meant so much more. I could hear it in her voice. Preston Sent from my iPad