Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCXCVII

Those of you who know me well are aware of the fact that I've always been very active in my church.  I have assumed roles such as host, usher, teacher, and youth staff member, but the one area of service that I've consistently been involved in since my youth is music.  I started singing in church as soon as I reached the choir's minimum age requirement, and by the time I was in my late teens, I started occasionally playing piano for special songs. Now, here I am at age sixty-two, and I'm still in the choir, although I have learned that, just like playing sports, singing ability begins to decline as one becomes a senior citizen. I have always considered it an honor to be able serve in that capacity, yet, at least in my case, there have been some hazards along the way. Let me explain: Some people's jobs at church are all behind the scenes, yet those faithful souls continue to give it all they've got even though they get little notice from the congregation for their services.  Being involved in music is different. While it's true that we spend many hours behind the scenes rehearsing, during the church services, we are in the spotlight...literally. Therefore, we receive a lot of recognition. If a person is not careful, that notoriety can go to his head, and as a result, he begins to expect and even seek those accolades for his services.  I know this to be true, because, I must confess, I myself have at times fallen into that trap. I was once asked to sing at a wedding, and the church had one microphone for the singer right beside the only musical instrument, an organ....in the balcony. At first I felt a little frustrated that the wedding guests couldn't even see me, but then my frustration turned to feelings of guilt when I realized what I had wanted to do; I was trying to make at least part of the wedding about me instead of the bride and groom.  But am I not doing the same thing at church when I expect recognition for what little talent I may be exhibiting?   In order to be honest with myself, I must ask myself why I sing in church. A truthful answer would be the same today that it was thirty years ago...."to glorify God."  However, if at the same time I am trying to also draw some attention to myself, am I not asking God to share some of that glory with me?  I wonder if I would put as much into the music if we stood out of sight of the audience, like singers do in a funeral home chapel.  Would I be as eager to give it my all if nobody knew it was me?   I know it would not be feasible for the singers and musicians to be behind a curtain; it's our job to lead the congregation in worship. And yes, I compliment other singers and musicians when they do an exceptional job; as I believe I should.  The compliments I've received have made me feel good, and I've always replied with a polite "Thank you," but nothing I've done makes me any more special than the person who is doing a job behind the scenes. Some people just aren't singers, yet they have talents in other areas where I may be lacking, so that really makes us even...the way it's supposed to be. I promise I'm trying hard to remember that. It could be that, although my talent level has never been more than mediocre, staying humble may be easier today than it was several years ago, because I'm not as good as I used to be. There is one thing that has remained constant down through the years, however....I'm nothing without Him! Preston