Thinking Out Loud, Volume CDLXI

There was no excuse for those two women to treat me the way they did. It was the first day of the Dallas Gift Market, and I had left my hotel, headed for work, when I suddenly remembered that I needed to stop by Kroger to pick up a case of bottled water, along with some peanuts and M&Ms for my customers. I hurriedly selected my items and got in line at the checkout. Finally, I reached the point where I was next in line when a young woman passed everyone behind me, broke in front of me and said, "I'm cutting in line because I have to get to work." I replied, "Yeah, I do too." She said, "I'm sorry," but made no effort to let me go ahead and check out. I didn't say anything else, but I seethed all the way to work. When I arrived at the World Trade Center, I quickly carried everything up to my booth, and then went back down to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite of breakfast before the show opened. Once again, I stood in line until it was my time to order, when a young woman cut in front of me and said, "Excuse me, I just need to get a biscuit." She then said to the lady behind the counter, "I need a biscuit please. Oh, and while you're at it, I think I'll go ahead and have some eggs, bacon and hash browns." Well, she found herself in the unfortunate position of being the second person to do that to me that day, and I hadn't even had my first cup of coffee. She had no doubt she had upset me, although she just apologized and stayed right where she was. She then saw a side of me few people ever see. Neither of those women (I just can't call them ladies.) actually caused me any real harm in doing what they did, but it seems easy to justify my anger and the fact that I "lost it" with that second one. Can you understand why that would make me mad? After all, I can't just stand idly by and allow someone else to use me as a doormat. Physically, I didn't touch her, but I put my words, which were not in short supply, to good use against her. (It was something about people who think the whole world revolves around them.) What I wanted to do was upset her, and in that effort, I was successful. However, the whole episode upset me too, so I needed some kind of justification in the way I handled it, just to make me feel better. The friends I mentioned it to all told me they would've been even more forceful than I had been, but for some reason, it just didn't settle my mind. My anger had subsided by the end of that day, but I've thought about that incident many times since it happened, and I still can't really justify my actions. There's that same old phrase that keeps ringing in my ears that says, ".....turn the other cheek." I wanted to check what was said right after those few powerful words so I could see the exceptions to the rule, so I looked it up, and guess what....there is a second half to that command! It says, "and if they take your coat, don't withhold your shirt from them either." Oh wow!! I was being guided by my old human nature.....you know, doing what seemed right in my own eyes, and making the whole situation about me. While I still stick with my first statement that there's no justification for the behavior of the two women, I must remember that the way they acted is their problem, not mine. I can't fix them. But if I allow them to push me into also doing wrong, it then becomes MY problem, and that I CAN fix. If being the kind of person I want to become was easy, everybody would be doing it. Preston