Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCLXX

I was a bad kid! Bad! Really bad! I wasn't a thief or anything like that, although I knew some kids who were. I didn't drink or do drugs and I was at church every time the doors were opened, but still, I was bad. I actually had some classmates who were bullies, although I can't recall ever being a bully myself. There were even some kids at my school and my church who would get smart with their teachers, causing disruptions in the classes, and though I may have been guilty of that from time to time, it would not be accurate to say that I was a smart-mouth child. I looked up to practically every adult I knew and showed respect to all of them just like my mom and dad taught me to do. Yet, considering everything I just told you, my behavior can best be summed up with one simple word: "Bad." Just like Leroy Brown.

By now you're probably beginning to wonder just what it was that I did that would earn me such an infamous title, and the truth is, I don't really know. All I know is, I was bad. And what's odd about this whole thing is the fact that I didn't know just how bad I was until just recently. It's like it just dawned on me all of a sudden, and I instantly developed a whole new perspective on my entire childhood. Just a few days ago, I was having a conversation with a group of friends, and one of them, Deena Ferguson, made a statement that shed a whole new light on the whole situation. Up until just a couple weeks ago, if you would have asked me what kind of kid I was when I was growing up, I would've said "Good." Now I know better.

If there were ever two people that I totally trusted to always do what was in my best interest, it would have to be my parents. Their love for me was unconditional. Not even for one-sixteenth of a second throughout my entire lifetime have I ever questioned their undying love for me. They taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be, they praised me when I did good, and they punished me when I did evil. That brings me to my point. My entire childhood was one long period of extreme, over-the-top punishment. I don't know if a parent could get away with such cruelty in today's environment...not to the extent that I had to endure it. In essence, what Deena was talking about that made me see the light was how kids are punished in our current society. I think what has happened is that parents have learned about how I was punished, and they have followed suit, only to a much lesser degree. Some of the more harsh examples of what I'm talking about include such penalties as taking away their kids' cell phones for two weeks, confiscating their computers for sometimes as long as a month, unplugging the TV's in their rooms, etc. I just hope the government doesn't find out about some of these disciplinary measures, because there is an offense that is known as "Cruel and Unusual Punishment," and I'm afraid some parents may be pushing the limits on these harsh techniques.

What has made me realize that I was such a bad kid is I know Mom and Dad would not have punished me when I had done nothing to deserve it. The happy part of this story is that I somehow survived it all with no apparent ill effects. (If you are squeamish, you may not want to continue reading this paragraph, and please do not read aloud if you have small children in the room.) Here was my punishment: I was made to endure an ENTIRE CHILDHOOD with no cell phone, no computer, no television in my room, and no X-Box. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it's true, I promise. Once this story is authenticated, I fully expect it to be condensed and published in the "Drama in Real Life" section of "Reader's Digest."

And oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention one other method of correction that was placed on top of all the things I've already mentioned. On my really, really bad days, when I committed a crime like lying to my parents, etc., my dad had discovered an additional form of chastisement that involved a piece of leather, but we'll save that discussion for another day.

Preston