Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXVIII

I promise I don't have an obsession with mirrors, even though several times in the past few weeks I've mentioned them and the need for us to stand in front of one and take a good look at the image we see. Today I'm doing it again. Before we do that, however, let's take a trip back in our memory to about fifteen or twenty years ago, and let's try to recall the image of ourselves that we had pictured of the person that we would be today. Now let's go to the mirror and take a look. How does the person you see stack up with the person you had planned to be at this stage of life? I went through this process more than twelve years ago, and I didn't like what I saw. "Who are YOU? I don't know you." That was my first reaction as I stood there looking at the man staring back at me. The neat thing about looking into a mirror is if you take your time and really look, you can observe much more of the person looking back at you than you can of the typical man on the street. You can see inside him and read his thoughts. That's what I did that morning back in August, 2000. I didn't like the image I saw, the part that everyone else could see, but neither did I like the other part, the part that others could not see. The man I saw didn't even bear a slight resemblance to the man I had planned on being at that point in my life. What I was witnessing were the results of a decade of living a life without discipline. My physical appearance, my health, my finances, and my spiritual condition were all suffering from ten years of trying to live "the good life," but my idea of what"the good life" really means was all out of whack. You don't have the time to sit here and read all the details of just what type person I had become, so let me just tell you that I was disgusted with what I saw, both the visible and the invisible. Let me also tell you that I decided right there and then to do something about it. Those feelings of disgust are still fresh in my mind, even after more than a dozen years, and today, every day, I tell myself that I will never allow myself to become that person again. I am also a living testimony that a person can change if he makes up his mind to do so. I don't mean to imply that I had become a bad person...it's just that I had to learn from experience that going down Easy Street will bring me to a dead end. As painful as they were, those few minutes in front of that mirror turned out to be some of the best minutes of my life, because they got my attention and gave me the resolve to turn around. So where am I now? Well, since then, that big, disgusted guy in the mirror has run thirteen full marathons (26.2 miles), at least fifteen half marathons (13.1 miles), I have no debt other than my home and my car, and I feel closer to God than I ever have. Yes, I changed! And if I did it, anyone can. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXVII

I think I've figured out a way around that one pesky little scripture that smacks every one one us right in the face, but there's a catch. We'll have to set a very lofty goal and live up to it completely if this is gonna work. The scripture I'm talking about is Matthew 7:1 that says, according to the Amplified Version, "Do not judge, criticize and condemn others or you will be judged, criticized and condemned yourselves."  Has anyone ever judged, criticized or condemned you?  Well, did you stop to consider that maybe you had it coming, and that verse was coming to fruition in your life?  Well, just follow my plan, and if it works, you won't have to endure those consequences any more. I realize the first impulse would be to say just don't judge and everything will be cool, but that's not what I'm talking about...well, not really. My method is merely making one simple goal, a goal that should already be the objective of every one of us. I've made it my goal, and chances are, you have too. Now all we have to do is achieve that goal, but that's where the catch comes in to play. Here it is:  All we have to do is live a 100% perfect, mistake-free life from this moment throughout the rest of eternity. It's an easy goal to make. As a matter of fact, I have no plans to make another mistake for the rest of my life. Now all I have to do is accomplish it.   What will it entail?  How many slip-ups am I allowed, let's say, in a day? None. Zip. Nada. Zero. " A perfect life" means a PERFECT life. Almost perfect is not perfect, and that won't do.  No bad attitudes, no temper tantrums, no gossip, or no little white lies will be allowed.  Basically, I have to live a life that gives no one else any legitimate reason to be critical of me whatsoever, and that's a pretty tall order. However, I think it will work if I will set that one little goal and follow it to the letter...forever. Oh, and that means I can never be judgmental. Preston Sent from my iPad=

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXVI

Here's a test to see if smoking is bad for you. Stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at yourself, and then go smoke a cigarette. Wait thirty minutes and then go back and take another good look in the mirror. Do you see any difference?  More than likely you don't. So, does that mean smoking is not harmful?  If that test would work, nobody would smoke, because if one cigarette made a noticeable difference, by the time you smoked a pack, you would already be in trouble. What actually happens is the changes to our health are so gradual that we just continue to accept them until it's too late. As I was pondering this topic, I was reminded of some notes I had taken a few Sundays ago in church, so I went back and looked them up. I realize that my pastor was speaking about a different topic, but I believe the same principle still applies. He said, "We have a tendency to confuse delayed judgment with no judgment."  Just because I develop some bad habits today and I don't see any negative consequences doesn't mean that they aren't coming. What really happens is those consequences come on us so slowly that we don't even notice them at first. Consider this scenario:  On January 1, you weigh 150 pounds, and each month afterward you still weigh the same until the first of May, when you have added one pound. You're not alarmed because you don't feel or look any different, especially when you go another four months before you add another pound. The trend continues as you average gaining only one pound every four months, which comes out to a mere three pounds in one year. No big deal, right?  Any of us would be content to gain only three pounds a year.  Now let's fast-forward twelve years, when we look in the mirror and realize that we are thirty-six pounds heavier than when we started. How many of us are okay with the likelihood of being thirty-six pounds heavier twelve years from now?  Since we don't have the ability to see ourselves a dozen years down the road, we allow it to happen because the change comes on so slowly. If we were to change that much overnight, it would freak us out. I'm just using weight as an example, but the same principle holds true for practically every aspect of our lives, including our finances, our spiritual condition, our relationships, our marriage, etc. Human beings will accept almost anything as long as it's given to us in small doses. How many of us can be honest enough to admit that we now allow movies and television shows with immoral subject matter into our homes that we would not have accepted twelve years ago? Changes like that don't occur instantly, but they happen in tiny increments. Now, let's take a quick look at it from the opposite angle. How many of you would like to see yourself weighing thirty-six pounds less in twelve years?  It didn't come on you overnight and it won't come off overnight. Progress may seem slow, but progress is progress. Actually, we can fix things in a much shorter period of time than it took us to get there, but it will still require persistence and patience. It took me a year and a half to lose sixty-two pounds, which comes out to just under one pound per week. It seemed slow at the time, and at times I became impatient, but if I had given up, it never would have happened. This article is as much to me as it is anyone. Over the years since I made my big change, I've allowed some of that weight to gradually come back on, but it's now coming back off again, slowly but surely. I just have to remind myself that it takes time and determination. I've done it before, and I'm doing it again. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXV

All your meals are free on a cruise. You can fill your plate as many times as you like and then eat five desserts if that's what you want to do....and it doesn't cost you one thin dime. Oh, and I also have some prime property for sale on Missouri's east coast, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, if you're interested. The TV evangelist says if you'll send him a small offering of $50 or more, he'll send you, absolutely free, an 8 X 10 autographed portrait of him and his wife standing in front of their new church building. All you have to do is enclose $7.50 in addition to your offering for shipping and handling, and the picture is yours for free. When I first started running, I tried to enter every 5K race that came to town, and every one of them gave me a free tee shirt after I paid my $20 registration fee. Then one day it dawned on me that I could not afford any more free tee shirts. I don't know how many rules of life there are, but rule number 1 is "Anything of value has a price tag," and it never ceases to amaze me just how many people are apparently unaware of that rule. If you see an ad that says, "Try our great new weight loss plan! There's no exercise involved and you can eat all you want," you should use that paper as a liner for the bottom of your bird cage. If it's worth something, someone has to pay for it. It may not cost you money, but it will cost you something. That handsome young hunk with the bulging biceps that you see every week didn't get that way by accident...he earned it. That beautiful, slim young lady with the gorgeous hair and firm body paid a steep price to look like that. Who would not want to be able to play golf like Tiger Woods, but who among us would be willing to pay the price that he has paid to get that good? I can testify to the fact that trying to live the easy, good life only produces undesirable results. I can also testify to the fact that living a life of discipline can prepare an individual to achieve goals he never thought he could reach. I love the way it's stated in Hebrews 12:11: "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Living a disciplined lifestyle is the price you pay for becoming the person you want to be, and you cannot become that person till you've paid that price. Living a disciplined life will require you to move out of your comfort zone...it means you have to go beyond what comes easy. Think about the person that you look up to as a role model. Whoever it is, I'll bet he's not a lazy slouch who never seems to be able to get it all together. Most likely, it's someone who was willing to pay the price to become the person he is. The good news is, you can be that person, too. But it's gonna cost you. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXIV

My mom should've been President. I can think of several reasons why. All she would have had to do was run the country like she ran our home. For one thing, she was a lover of peace, but if anyone tried to mess with her kids, they would soon learn that her peaceful ways had their limits. I don't mean to imply that she was constantly having to do battle on our behalf; it's just that it was understood by everyone around that her children were off limits to those who might be prone to mischief, and she meant it. Another reason my mom should have been President is the way she handled squabbles within the family. It's natural for brothers and sisters to have some strong disagreements when they are children, but when that happened in our house, she made sure we disagreed in an agreeable manner. Fighting and name-calling were strictly forbidden, and we knew it. She was the mother of the entire household, which meant we were all equal in her eyes; therefore she didn't pick a side and work with her favorite child to make the others look bad. Maybe that's because she didn't have a favorite child...she loved us all the same. Laziness was not tolerated in our home. Dad worked hard as the breadwinner and Mom worked equally as hard preparing the bread and placing it on the table, and if we wanted a place at that table, we each had our chores that had to be done. In other words, we all had to work. Mom never forced one child to give up what was rightfully his and give it to one of the other children just to make it fair. She saw no fairness in that, yet at the same time she taught us that if we had a bag of candy, we should voluntarily share with those who had none. In the lean months when Dad brought home less money, she spent less. In the more plentiful months, she would splurge a little. She never spent money she didn't have. Mom could be tough and tender at the same time, and she was not afraid to make unpopular decisions when she knew they were for the ultimate good of the home. She was an awesome mom, and her success was due to the fact that she took on the job with the right motives. The reason she left such a great legacy is because, as far as she was concerned, it was never about her legacy...it was about us. There were four of us kids that she raised from birth and made into successful adults, yet she then gave each one of us the credit for our success. If her job had been an elected position and she would have had to run for re-election, she would have thrown her hat in the ring every time, and every time she would have received 100% of the vote...even with the unpopular decisions she had to make. Yep, Mom would have made a great President, because she would've run the country like she ran our home. I don't think I've ever seen a real President do it that way. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXIII

Bertha knew what she was doing. I did too. She was testing my limits. I was the new store manager in our Lafayette store, so it was natural for the employees to test the new boss to see what my limits were and to see what they could or could not get away with. On this particular morning, she came dressed in clothing that didn't measure up to company policy. I handled it like this, "Bertha, do you go home for lunch?" She replied, "Yes sir, I do." "Could you do me a favor?" "Sure. What do you need?" "I need for you to slip into something more uncomfortable, so when you come back you'll be dressed according to the rules." She stood silent for a moment, then said, "Awe, Mr. Davidson, you're being mean." Me: "I know, but I'm doing it in a nice way, aren't I? Thank you for doing that for me." She complied, and it was never an issue again. The same thing had happened to me at the previous location where I had worked, but I had handled the situation differently. A young lady named Andrea had come to work dressed in an old tee shirt and a ragged pair of jeans, which was expressly against the rules, and she knew it. I had a right to be upset with her, and let me just say I exercised that right...in no uncertain terms. She came to work the next morning and quit her job, which meant that I had to hurry and find a new employee and then train her to do the work that Andrea knew how to do quite proficiently. I had brought unnecessary difficulty to my job due to the unwise manner in which I had dealt with that situation. No two human beings will see every situation the same, and as a result, conflicts are sure to arise, such as the examples I just gave where two employees knowingly and purposely violated their terms of employment. I was within my rights to speak to Andrea the way I did, but it was obviously not the most wise course of action. Bertha was a good employee for the rest of the time I was in that store, but if I had treated her the way I had treated Andrea, that would not have been the case. When we speak harshly to people, they will become angry and defensive even when they know they were in the wrong. Name calling and hurtful words do not produce the best results. I've heard people argue that they used harsh rhetoric to make sure that they adequately expressed their opinion, but what is more important, expressing opinions or achieving positive outcomes? One of my fellow managers told me one time that he enjoyed the feeling of power he felt when he could fire an employee, but he soon learned how it felt to be on the receiving end of that situation when his boss fired him....not the result he was looking for. I don't recall an era in my lifetime when our country has been as deeply divided as it is now, and the rude comments about the opposition that I'm hearing all the way from the President down to the man on the street, from both sides, are only making the situation worse. And just because my opposition says nasty things about me doesn't mean I should reciprocate. How long has it been since we obeyed Matthew 5:44 and "prayed for those who spitefully used us?" On a daily basis we see individuals who have let their morals go to the dogs, but before we decide to let them know just how awful they are, maybe we could pause to remember our own past mistakes and to recall just how badly we needed to know that someone loved us. If I tell someone how bad they are under the guise of having the right to speak my mind, what good have I accomplished? Actually, what I've spent five paragraphs trying to say, Paul said perfectly in one verse, I Corinthians 10:23: "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial; Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." Let me put it this way: It's legal for me to eat two dozen donuts every day, but it would also be stupid. So I don't do it. Preston

Thinking Out Loud, Volume CCCLXII

Having to deal with my own filth is bad enough, but when I come in contact with the filth of others, I find it repulsive. One night last week I was staying in a nice hotel in the New Orleans area, and when I checked in, they told me that they had upgraded me to a suite. It had been a fairly stressful day, and when I noticed the jacuzzi in my room, I said, "Why not." I filled up the tub with hot water and settled in to relax for a while. Everything was great until I turned it on, and when I did, I felt a rush of cold water come coming out of the pipes. Then it hit me. That cold water had been sitting idle in the pipes, and it was water that had been circulating when the last guest used it. From that moment, there was no pleasure in that experience. My job requires that I travel quite a bit, so I end up spending a lot of nights in hotels, and although the beds always have clean sheets, I don't recall ever seeing the housekeepers taking the bedspreads and blankets to be cleaned. The first thing I do when I go into my hotel room is pull the bedspread off my bed, because who knows what all has transpired on it since the last time it was cleaned. Gag. I will tell you, however, that in order to maintain what little bit of sanity I have left, I've reached a point where I'm still cautious, but I refuse to become a "germ-a-phobic." Let's take a look at reality. How clean is the money we handle every day? How often do we shake someone's hand when we have no idea where that hand has been since it was last washed? How clean are the door knobs and handrails we handle every day? Has your shoe lace ever touched the floor in a public restroom? Have you ever swam in a public pool that's used by large numbers of people? What are the standards of cleanliness used in the kitchens of the restaurants we patronize on a regular basis? On more than one occasion I've actually witnessed individuals licking the excess off of the tops of ketchup bottles in restaurants. I've seen restaurant employees exit stalls in the restroom and head straight back to the kitchen without washing their hands. Maybe there was a sink they used in the kitchen, but, for my sake, they should've washed their hands before leaving the restroom. Those are things I've seen. I wonder what all has happened that I did not see. My point is, we often take precautions in some areas while not even noticing other areas that are equally unsanitary. There's no way to avoid coming in contact with all sorts of germs every day, no matter how hard we think we're trying. Like I said earlier, I'm cautious, but I'm enough of a realist to understand that the hand I'm shaking may have just emerged from a Port-a-John where there's no place to wash your hands. Thank God for hand sanitizer, which I use regularly, but I'm even more thankful that God designed our bodies to build resistance to filth. That removes some of the worry. If it didn't, I'd go crazy. Preston